32 retro metro Detroit TV commercials that will make you feel old — let's watch

By Metro Times editorial staff on Fri, Dec 11, 2020 at 2:50 pm

The year is 2020 and you can now “skip” advertisements when watching YouTube videos or when binging some drama on Hulu. But back in the day, the television commercial was not just a form of creative expression but an absolute must-have tool in getting people to buy expensive fur coats or pack up the station wagon to head to Bob-lo Island or the Detroit Zoo. For a blast from the past, step into our slideshow — er, time machine — and take a look at some of metro Detroit's both most memorable and cringe-worthy ads from yesteryear. Warning: you may or may not get the Tubby's jingle in your head, and we are not responsible for any madness that may occur as a result.

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Mel Farr Superstar: "And they cannot fly either!"

Though born in Texas, Farr played for the Detroit Lions, then retired from football and acquired a Ford Motor Company dealership. Though his business failed in 2002, he's still well-remembered for the commercials that cast him as a cape-wearing superhero flying over the city.

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Bob-Lo Island: "Let's Twist Again"

Just before Bob-Lo closed, it ran this catchy TV spot over and over to try to outshine Cedar Point.

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Detroit Institute of Arts Commercial: "You Gotta Have Art!"

This 1976 commercial borrowed the popular show tune from Damn Yankees to drum up business for the art museum.

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Detroit Zoo: "Zoo Stars"

This goofy little spot from local agency Doner earned many a chuckle, with the menagerie's animals cast as temperamental performers experiencing the jitters before a big show. Silly, yes, but if you don't giggle you don't have a heart.

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Father & Son Construction Company: "No job too big ..."

The friendly jingle and the somehow likable animation make this spot a keeper in heavy rotation through the 1980s.

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Walt Lazar Chevrolet: "Super, Super Dealer"

Speaking of jingles, the Walt Lazar Chevrolet jingle gets a reprise in this old spot, though not with the big finish. Search a little beyond this spot and you'll find some wag has remixed it for some laughs.

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Highland Appliance: "Practicing the Piano"

A kid so gawky-looking he could give Napoleon Dynamite a run for his money has a problem: His mom wants him to practice the piano, but his friends want him to toss the pigskin around. With a little help from Highland, everybody will feel they got their way.

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Ray Whitfield and Alan Ford: "Here, Dog"

The cartoon hillbilly with the banjo and the 10-gallon hat urging his dog to go to the dealership was used so often that sometimes the voice got overdubbed for another dealership.

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Faygo: “Comic books and rubber bands”

What Faygo has to do with this creepy boat ride, we have no idea. But this earworm from the ‘70s is as sweet as high fructose corn syrup.

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Highland Appliance: "Try to Better Fretter"

We weren't able to find the spot where Ollie Fretter says, "I'll give you five pounds of coffee if I can't beat your best deal." But this spot also offers a glimpse at Fretter's hardworking regular-guy persona.

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Farmer Jack: "Better than the rest"

We can't tell which is funnier: the dramatic presentation of the lettuce or the synthesizer-laden soundtrack.

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Belvedere Construction Company: "We Do Good Work"

Maurice Lezell, owner of the home-improvement company and better known as Mr. Belvedere, achieved camp-hero status in Detroit in the 1970s with his no-frills television ads. Here is a representative spot.

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Sign of the Beefcarver: "The Recipe for FUN"

Kind of strange to hear this plodding oom-pah number that calls to mind Uncle Joe falling asleep on the car ride home after a slab of cafeteria-style beef and realizing it's all about FUN. Yeah, sure looks like some wild times were had there in the 1990s.

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Towne Club: "My Goodness!"

Boy, were people crazy about saving money in the 1970s. They'd even buy the off-brand of soda so they could save a measly $2.16! Oh, wait: That was enough to buy five loaves of bread back then

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Chatham Supermarkets: "OKonomy Brand"

Why buy big-name products when you can buy more off-brand stuff? (Was buying less not an option in 1980?)

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WXON TV: The Thriller

Afternoon horror double features were a staple on UHF channels like WXON-TV. And each station had its own workmanlike commercial for the show. Best of all, though, were the station breaks, which often mixed horror footage with "scary-sounding music" which was, more often than not, Zeppelin.

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The Broadway: “Let’s Dance … in LEATHER!”

Any commercials that use David Bowie tunes to sell high fashion leather wearables is very hip in our book, but not as hip as that two-toned military-style jacket with matching leather pants.

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Channel 7 News: "Stand Up and Tell Them You're From Detroit!"

Hey, the 1970s were a scary time in Detroit, with murder, disinvestment, crime, and arson. But even if people across America took three steps back when you said you were from here, that wasn't going to stop the Channel 7 Action News team. Here you'll see the whole gang, including Billy Bonds, urging you to stand tall and tell those motherfuckers you're from Detroit. (And pop off a few rounds in case they're still standing there.)

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Waterbed Gallery with Tommy "The Hitman" Hearns

Remember waterbeds? Aside from being potentially responsible for many stiff necks, wobbly sex, and seasickness, waterbeds were apparently the preferred mattress of local boxing legend Tommy “The Hitman” Hearns, who went the distance in this knockout 1984 ad for Waterbed Gallery.

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