24 things people from Detroit will argue about forever

By Metro Times editorial staff on Thu, Feb 21, 2019 at 4:06 pm

If there's one thing that's true about Detroit, it's that we love to talk shit but hate shit talkers. So get ready to pick a fight, because we've got 24 things people from Detroit will argue about forever.

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Will the Lions win a Super Bowl in my lifetime?

Ha! Some might say the safer bet is that we’ll go 0-16 again before we make it to one of those Super Bowl things that we’re always hearing about. We couldn’t do it with the greatest running back of all time or one of the greatest receivers ever, but this is gonna be our year guys!

Photo via Jeff Bukowski/Shutterstock

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What happened to Jimmy Hoffa?

“My uncle Kenny said he’s buried under his driveway.”

Photo via Garam/Wikimedia Commons

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How many championships would the Pistons have won if we didn’t draft Darko Milicic?

It’s without a doubt the biggest draft bust of all time. Somehow the Pistons still won a championship after drafting Darko Milicic. But looking back at the players who were also on the table (Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh) and wondering if the Pistons could’ve been an all-time great dynasty is something we’ll never get tired of bitching about.

Photo via Dave Hogg / Wikimedia Commons

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Wasn’t Kwame kinda tight before all that shit went down?

The Hip-Hop Mayor was politically pimpin’ with his fresh outfits and baller whips before he was busted for fucking up the city with a smorgasbord of corrupt practices.

Photo via Patrick Marks/Shutterstock

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Where does “Up North” actually begin?

From the vantage point of Detroit, practically everything can be considered 'Up North.' Does it start at Eight Mile? M-59? Flint? Anything above the tip of the thumb? The UP? Let’s argue!

Photo via Nikolay Zaborskikh / Shutterstock

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Urban decay

Super cool hipster adventure time or overplayed and embarrassing reminder of poverty and destruction?

Photo via Atomazul / Shutterstock

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Is it M-10 or The Lodge?

This conversation quickly filters the new transplants from the real Southeast locals.

Photo via Ken Lund / Flikr Creative Commons

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Should we have a pro soccer team?

The metro Detroit area is one of the most diverse in the country, with many immigrants from soccer-loving countries. Why don’t we have a professional soccer team in Detroit?

Some of the Detroit City Football Club supporters have long wanted Le Rouge to go pro, others like it the way it is. Whichever side of the fence you're on, big things are happening for DCFC — it's now on track to join the new National Independent Soccer Association pro league, which kicks off in spring 2020.
Photo via Evan Gonzalez / Detroitstockcity.com

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Should public transit like the QLine expand out to Pontiac and Ann Arbor?

We know our public transportation is lacking. But would expanding the QLine be a blessing or an added headache?

If you've ever ridden the Qline and had it stop on the tracks because of a parked car, you'll probably agree with the latter.

Photo via Susan Montgomery / Shutterstock

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Redpop or Rock’n’Rye?

The signature Faygo classics are both delicious, but you might prefer one over the other. But does Faygo cola beat out Coke and Pepsi?

Photo via Sheila Fitzgerald/Shutterstock

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Should the Wings retire Fedorov’s jersey?

He was one of the most exciting goal scorers to ever play for the Wings, during one of our best eras. But he left on bad terms. Should we forgive, forget, and forever enshrine Fedorov’s number 91 in the rafters?

Photo via Schmackity / Wikimedia Commons

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American or Lafayette?

We each have our loyalty to one. Do you prefer the original American Coney dining experience, or do you like your dog in the cozy corridor of Lafayette Coney Island? They're both very similar, but very different – it's one argument that may never find an answer.

Photo via benlmoyer / Wikimedia Commons

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Which family is worse? The Ilitches or Morouns?

On one hand, you have the Moroun family, led by billion-dollar patriarch Matty Moroun who has made a killing monopolizing the border crossing with the Ambassador Bridge.

On the other hand, you have the Illitches who have bought up real estate throughout the downtown area, collected tax subsidies based on glamorous promises for redevelopment, and then bulldozed historical buildings to make room for surface lots. Cheers to these two!

Photo via Keya5 / Shutterstock

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Who has the best pizza?

It’s tough to argue the original Buddy’s. But many aren’t afraid to defend their preference for Supino’s, Pie-Sci, Green Lantern, or Sgt. Pepperoni's.

Even the locally-headquartered chains deserve a heated debate. Who takes the pie? Jet’s, Little Caesars, Dominos, or Hungry Howie's?

Photo courtesy of buddyspizzadet

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Little Caesars Arena

Common lines that you may hear in reference to Little Caesars Arena include:
“Name it after Gordie Howe!”
“The Palace was still fine for the Pistons, why do they get to come into the Red Wings arena?!”
“Why are taxpayers footing the bill?!”
“It doesn’t help the community one bit!”
“No one’s coming to watch these teams anyway!”

Photo via Susan Montgomery/Shutterstock

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Fix the damn roads!

In theory, fixing the roads is a pretty straightforward request. However, if we want the roads fixed, it’s going to take constant construction. Construction takes time. And money. And headaches.

After you've been stuck in gridlocked traffic for 45 minutes because your usual route home is blocked off, you may catch yourself reminiscing about all of the times you enjoyed a traffic-free commute by swerving potholes.

Photo via Kent Weakley / Shutterstock

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Is it Pine Knob or DTE?

DTE Energy Music Theater is a mouthful. Pine Knob shows your age. No matter what you call it, the beer still costs more than a lawn ticket.

Photo via Bhakti Henna / Flikr Creative Commons

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Ford, GM, or Chrysler?

Truck guys seem the most committed to their vehicle manufacturer of choice, and it usually has to do with where you work. But usually, these arguments don’t get too heated – unless you didn’t buy American.

Photos via cassio96, teo.raff, coolkid1993 / Wikimedia Commons

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Red Wings and Avalanche in the '90s was the greatest sports rivalry

We dare you to debate a hockey fan about the greatest rivalry in sports. Your argument will get pummeled like McCarty pummeled Lemieux.

Photo via Susan Montgomery / Shutterstock

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Best way to get to Windsor - bridge or tunnel?

Under or over the river? More like, whichever is quicker.

Photo via mikerussell / Wikimedia Commons

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