New, interesting, gorgeously green

INDOOR GARDENING

For such a large city, Detroit can seem awfully small at times. Lately I've been getting fed up with seeing the same old faces in the same old places. In search of a change of pace and a fresh supply of cute, single boys without criminal records, I took up a vow to go out and do New and Interesting Things.

Last Thursday I kicked off my intrepid weekend reportings at Pure; although I've already been to this posh little hotspot, it still counted as a New and Interesting Thing in my prone-to-exceptions book, since the evening's theme was the Whitney Garden Party of 89X as well as a party before the Moby concert at the State.

Obviously, due to the impending doom of Michigan cold, the Garden Parties are no longer at the Whitney and have been moved indoors to Pure for the season - you can still expect the same 5-9 p.m. hours, $7 cover and buffet from Twingo's, but the crowd seems a bit thinner.

Alas, around 7 p.m. it was announced that Moby's tour bus was running late, and so he wouldn't be able to make it. The bar promptly cleared out. The stragglers included the multibanded Christopher Bozadzis of Not If and Silverweed, who was hanging out with garrulous entertainment lawyer Rose Daher.

I also swapped Halloween costume ideas- and a few New and Interesting recipes for Slim Jims - with fellow Ypsilantian Tyrone Massey and the sparkly, fuzzy Becky Bloom. Massey’s planned costume is that annoying Slim Jim commercial guy-you know, the one who screams "Eat Me!"

We decided that for extra oomph, he needed to add a guy dressed up as Randy "Macho Man" Savage to follow him around and holler "Art Thou Bored?" (If you don't get that reference, no old-school points for you.)

Incidentally, the once-purely DJ-driven bar has begun to feature live bands - the Chicago band Psycho Bitch managed to cram their in-your-face act onto the tiny stage on Friday the 13th.

TEMPLE OF STYLE

The night still young, I applied a fresh coat of glitter and ventured out to the Temple in Ferndale. The relatively New and quite Interesting bar on Nine Mile appears to be the temple of all things Ferndale; trendy yet laid-back, gay-friendly and stylish as all hell. The spacious, immaculately decorated spot has a wonderfully relaxed social vibe, and nearly all the major sins are accounted for: A large bar for imbibing, a dance floor for grooving, a fine dining area for scarfing, and lots of little private nooks and niches for smooching.

After sizing up the security so I could plot how to break into the place after hours and steal all the cool couches, I struck up a conversation with Macomb Community College instructor Philip Fortier; upon noting my coffin-shaped purse, Fortier remarked that he owns and is trying to sell the domain name www.customcaskets.com. Hopefully he will find some takers (or undertakers?).

After snapping a pic of social butterfly Kimi Landry and lanky Temple staff member Tree in their best "aren't we cute?" pose, I caught service-industry divas Allison Lowery and Lucie Satoria looking photogenic as they curled up on one of the chic sofas.

I also bumped into Gadzooks employee and Ypsi college club playboy Chad Hartoon, who came all the way out just to see the DJ for the evening, Carl Craig, one of the masterminds behind the Detroit Electronic Music Festival.

Hairdresser Andy Perry of Salon Sidney in Birmingham and Camel cigarette girl Kim Kopacki were working the retro look - Kopacki was the epitome of the cigarette vixens of the '50s, looking very Jean Harlow in a vintage gown snagged from her grandmother.

POLISHED GEM OPENS

The former JD’s Club 2000 in Mt. Clemens has had a schizophrenic past, changing names and formats frequently and never seeming to find one that worked. However, the latest incarnation of the concert hall/club is a real gem, and looks like it may well be a keeper. The final item on the New and Interesting Things agenda was the sparkling debut of the new Emerald Theatre Complex.

Too big for just one night, the grand opening played out last Friday and Saturday, and was packed to the seams both evenings. The verde venue has been fully revamped and drenched in varying shades of green. State Theatre general manager Joe Nieporte is a key member of the Emerald task force, so expect to see lots of familiar faces from the barstaff of the State Theatre and bar, as well as DJs Quig and Charles English; in fact the Emerald's crowd and design bears a distinct resemblance to the long-running successful format of the State.

In the future, a different entrance will be designated for club (in the Emerald Ballroom) and concert nights (in the Emerald Theatre) as a way of keeping the two concepts separate.

Even though the debut took place on the cursed date of Friday the 13th, everything seemed to flow exceedingly well. The organizational parties involved had their ducks in a row for the premiere - normally an opening night has a sense of chaos, but the polished and polite staff kept things running smoothly on Friday, despite the swarming zoo of people.

Of course, what's a party in the Northern Detroit suburbs without a guest appearance from the King of the Northern Detroit suburbs, that one guy whose name everyone knows. Kid Rock spent the evening stationed in the VIP area above the stage, while below, masses of adoring fans in skimpy tops tried to figure out how to sneak up there.

Good thing security was tight, since I’m sure Mr. Rock would just hate to be mobbed by a horde of blonde boobage — heaven forbid!