Four years ago, the website Clean Technica published an essay about offensively loud cars that increase the blood pressure and raise the stress level of their victims.
“Driving a very loud vehicle seems to be preferable to some machismo males,” wrote Jake Richardson, “but can be very irritating to everyone else.”
Since then, the problem has worsened as the pandemic ended and people felt liberated.
For instance: On Atwater — near Detroit’s Riverwalk — the city recently installed a series of speed bumps near signs that warn drivers “Noise Ordinance Enforced.” The racket of motors and music from cars can disturb the peace and quiet of a newish neighborhood just east of downtown.
Eight miles north is the suburban corridor of Woodward Avenue, the historic road that plays host to the annual Dream Cruise every summer.
But, to some, the Cruise is more than just a one-day stand, this year on Saturday, Aug. 19.
“The classic cars celebrated at the Woodward Dream Cruise are swamped by herds of late-model motorcycles and muscle cars, rumbling and screaming louder than any collectible,” the Free Press reported in June.
“Gearheads gather on Woodward … from spring to fall, spewing pollution and noise often well past midnight, and from Eight Mile north to Pontiac.”
Of course, car noise is hardly the only ear pollution we hear around here, particularly at this time of year. There are fireworks, legal and otherwise. There are gunshots fired for fun.
If that stuff doesn’t get on your nerves, there are always the lesser aggressions that include music at high volume or cellphone users dominating shared public space — all sonic pollution, in different ways, at different volumes.
And a cellphone user — driving a loud car and playing loud music — is a triple threat. In that loud cars get noticed and draw citizen complaints, the politicians and cops out on suburban Woodward vow a crackdown, an annual pledge.
Noise annoyance is hard to define and measure but, like pornography, you know it when you encounter it.
“The cars that we’re hearing are so obscene, so obnoxiously loud,” Birmingham police chief Scott Grewe told the Freep. “These are people spending money just to be excessively loud.”
The same applies to the backyard fireworks fanatic who simply figures his desire to enjoy loud explosions and bright flashes is more important than your yearning for peace and quiet.
Or your dog’s desire to stay calm. Or a war veteran’s wish for peaceful surroundings. Or your baby’s time to sleep.
It gets worse when the guy next door shoots his gun for no good reason. In Texas, a family complained about a neighbor doing this and keeping a baby awake. So he sure showed them. He shot and killed five of them and got indicted in late June for capital murder.
No bullets hit the baby.
Of course it doesn’t usually end like that.
On a lesser scale, consider misdemeanor noise pollution from the guy in the park or another public place like the Riverwalk, riding his bike or sitting on a bench, playing his recorded music at high volume, perhaps a number with curse words between the beats for your kids to hear and remember.
Are you offended by the volume of the tune or the tone of the lyrics?
Tough luck. Asking Mr. Boom Box politely to please turn it down might get you into, at best, an argument.
And these audio intrusions occur on an even smaller scale, too. You’re sitting at an airport, trying to read or to relax, and the person next to you makes or takes a cellphone call or, even worse, a FaceTime call. Sometimes they use a louder-than-normal voice.
They either don’t notice or don’t care that they are invading and intruding upon the soundscape of an unwilling audience unable to change seats in a crowded waiting room.
Same thing happens at the gym when the person on the next treadmill catches up with business or family matters. Yak-yak-yak. Now you know all about that meeting next month in Cincinnati or about Aunt Gertrude’s wisdom tooth.
Do you dare ask either of these loud intruders to respect your hearing space? Sure, if you’re in the mood for a loud argument, or worse.
Among other unappreciated sound assaults, a personal pet peeve is sports arenas, which once got loud only when human beings chose to raise their voices — positively or negatively — in response to action completed or desired.
They would cheer, boo, clap their hands, and chant.
But in the last couple decades — in all sports — speaker systems play artificial cadences, cheers, and rhythms that drown out any spontaneous fan initiative and obliterate casual conversation between persons sitting next to each other.
Meanwhile, back to cars and cellphones: A modest crackdown began in Michigan on June 30 with a new law banning the use of cellphones while driving unless they are set in the “hands-free” mode.
This means you can be fined at least $100 if you drive while talking, texting, streaming, or even looking at directions while holding your phone in your hand.
However, all these things are legal if you do it “hands-free” by dictating commands. This allows a major cell problem to continue.
How so?
Drivers talking on phones — hands-on or hands-free — are automatically distracted by the person on the other end of the call who cannot see and assess the traffic risks surrounding the driver.
If and when a traffic crisis occurs, the driver risks a delayed reaction due to his or her divided attention. This new law is the proverbial Band-Aid on a gaping wound.
Might there be any relief on the horizon?
Not involving sports events, boom boxes, guns, fireworks, or cellphones but, possibly, yes, on the loud-car front.
The electric motor-car era will bring about quieter cars that won’t snort, belch, and roar to let you know just how souped up they are.
Progress? Consider this mixed prediction from Farhad Manjoo in a recent opinion piece in the New York Times.
“The fossil-fuel-powered internal combustion engine is slowly on its way out — and good riddance,” he wrote. “Even if electric cars are no panacea, they’re a huge improvement … But boy, they can be dull.”
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