Jeffrey Morgan’s Media Blackout

I’ve made up a list and I’ve checked it twice! MB14 feels naughty not nice! • Diana DeGarmo — Blue Skies (RCA) :: And you thought Jewel was stacked. • Mix Master Mike — Bangzilla (Scratch) :: I knew Steinski. Steinski was a friend of mine. Beastie Boy, you’re no Steinski. • Gym Class Heroes — The Papercut EP (Fueled By Ramen) :: I bet Dylan wishes he could write a line like: “She’s the reason for the lesions.” • Matt Sharp — Matt Sharp (Boompa) :: Plaintive music so utterly anguished yet hauntingly beautiful it’s almost too painful to listen to. • Strung Out — Exile In Oblivion (Fat Wreck Chords) :: Lame grunge band called Strung Out begins its record by stealing 20 seconds of Billie Holiday, geddit? Well, don’t get it. • Jakalope — It Dreams (Orange) :: Proof positive that anyone with a Mac can ape NIN and record Jamming With Reznor. • Simple Plan — Not Getting Any (Lava) :: Sure they’re not. That’s why there’s a flier stuck inside that shills the songs on their new album as ring tones at $2.50 a pop. • Jem — Finally Woken (ATO) :: Narcotic and erotic music to read Edward Gorey by. • Eno — Music For Christmas (Island) :: Fooled ya, didn’t I? • Lesbians on Ecstasy — Lesbians on Ecstasy (Alien8) :: Today on Maury: Women who love women and the fishy records they make. • Westlife — Allow Us to Be Frank (RCA) :: A pack of real rats could sing better than these four fops. • SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Vampire Beach Babes — Beach Blanket Bedlam! (Divine Idustries Inc.) :: By combining the feisty fiesta vocals of the B-52s with the seamy archirony of the Cramps, these fun-loving culture vultures are the kitschiest thing to hit the surf since Eric Von Zipper hung 10. • Be seeing you!