Jeffrey Morgan’s Media Blackout

’Tis the season to be MB13! • Marc Bolan & T. Rex — Christmas Bop (T. Rex Wax Company) :: “Summer’s gone and snow’s fallen down. But cold’s bold and there’s nothing wrong.” Amen. • Band Aid — Whaddya Mean They Still Don’t Know It’s Christmas? (Shell Out For UNICEF) :: Start saving your pennies now because there’s only seven months left until Live Aid 2005: The 20th Anniversary Con Job. • Jacki-O — Poe Little Rich Girl (TVT) :: If her brain was half as big as the helium balloons she routinely flashes to pimp her tawdry wares, she might know better than to include offensive ethnic impersonations on her album. • Jefferson Airplane — Volunteers (RCA) :: Why is a song about overthrowing the U.S. government now being used in an E*TRADE television commercial? Because, having gotten old, one generation did get sold. • Ethan Daniel Davidson — Better Living Through Creative Selling (Times Beach) :: Hey rube, the next time a woman tells you she’s a terrorist, don’t record an eight-minute song about her. Call the FBI instead. • Trans-Siberian Orchestra — The Lost Christmas Eve (Lava) :: Enjoy complex pseudo-metallic bombast? Then guitarist Paul O’Neill’s latest annual installment of traditional Canon fodder is for you. • Keb Mo — Peace (Epic) :: Mo sings 10 proactive holiday peace anthems from Michigan, including Ted Nugent’s “Stormtroopin’” and Grand Funk’s “Don’t Let ’Em Take Your Gun.” • SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Slunt (Repossession) :: Still pining for the Cycle Sluts From Hell? Well, not only do these bra-bustin’ babes have the requisite heavy hangers needed to get the job done, they also have enough smarts to tackle Romeo Void’s “Never Say Never.” And, unlike Jacki-O, they don’t display their ample charms on the front cover. At least not yet. • Be seeing you!