Backslash

Nov 2, 2005 at 12:00 am
Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

H.P. Lovecraft’s legendary monster Cthulhu has inspired fear and disgust for generations. Therefore, it’s only appropriate that the beast has extended its reign of terror into the 21st century, via the Internet.

In his short story The Call of Cthulhu, Lovecraft described the beast as “an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature” with “a pulpy, tentacled head” and “a grotesque and scaly body.” Not that different from Dick Cheney, right? A few folks think so; or at least the ones who started the Cthulhu for President Web site, found at www.cthulhu.org. The campaign slogan is hard to argue with: “Why vote for a lesser evil?” The site provides background on the candidate, as well as its political platform, such as its stance on abortion: “The Great Cthulhu cares little for mortal affairs and mortal politics. However, as a presidential candidate, it must take a stand. Cthulhu is, therefore, pro-choice because it cares little for what you do. However, it’s in favor of keeping humans alive, so that it can taunt and toy with them before they go insane and it eats them.” The site was designed for the 2004 election, but given Cthulhu’s unique platform and aggressive political stances, it could be a serious contender for 2008 — plus, it would make for a great debate with Hillary.

But Cthulhu isn’t such a bad ... er, thing. Heck, it can be downright lovable; just check out hello-cthulhu.com, which features the creature in the world of Hello Kitty.

And did we mention cuddly? You can get your very own plush stuffed toy Cthulhu at toyvault.com/cthulhu/plush_cthulhu.html. Sweet dreams!

Send comments to [email protected]