Walken the walk — What with the Shrub’s perpetual vacationing, can you blame those who are looking toward the 2008 election in hope of salvation? Our country needs a brave, no-bullshit leader who can clean up the tremendous mess we’ve made, who can command authority and perhaps a hint of intimidation with just a single steely glance.
Our country needs ... Christopher Walken.
At least, according to the folks who put up walken2008.com (there’s also a mirror site at walkenforpres.com). The faux site (yes, it is fake) has spawned a flurry of media attention — and a fair amount of disappointment among stalwart Walken fans who’d hoped it might be true (considering Reagan and Schwarzenegger, it’s not implausible). While browsing the site, which is impressively slick and convincing, it’s impossible to read Walken’s campaign statement without hearing his trademark intonation inside your head. And any man who’s willing to carry his dead war buddy’s watch up his ass is a true American, right?
However, Walken already has some competition on the Web, from a fellow actor, no less. The folks from arnoldamendment.org and amendus.org want us to amend the Constitution to allow people not born in the United States to run for president (the latter site even mentions our own Gov. Jenny). But not everyone is so keen on Ahnold taking over our country to pump it up: arnoldexposed.com provides a laundry list of reasons why the allegedly woman-groping, dope-smoking dictator-in-training is bad news for America.
If it came down to it, who would win a pitched battle between Walken and the Terminator? Brains over brawn?
One thing’s for sure — If Walken did win, the inaugural ball would have some wonderful shampanya ...
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