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In their first review of the new year, MT's own "Wonder Twins" -- Laura and D'Anne Witkowski -- comment on Vic Chesnutt's show at the Pike Room last night, Wednesday, January 28th:
D'Anne: Let me start off by saying I think openers Elf Power have the best band name ever.
Laura: It is a great band name! But I will admit that I had them confused with the Tall Dwarves. Who are from New Zealand - not Athens, GA.
D: An elf and a dwarf is not the same thing, Laura. That is very insensitive of you.
L: It's the same category.
D: No, it is not. Elves are not real. Dwarfism is a real thing. I hope you get hate mail.
L: Fine! I hope so too! That would be a great way to kick off our first Wonder Twins review of the year.
D: I'd rather not start off the year with your size-ism. Or height-ism. Or whatever.
L: I don't think it's either of those things! Rather, we are starting off the year with my inability to tell fantasy from reality.
D: Well, we really were at the Elf Power/Vic Chesnutt show at the Pike Room Wednesday night. So "back to life, back to reality," to quote En Vogue.
L: Oh, no, you didn’t!! That, my friend, is Soul II Soul, not En Vogue!! You are so’ 90s served!!
D: My bad. But at least I don't hate dwarves.
L: Fine. We're even. I thought that Elf Power played a good set -- the bass player and drummer were really solid.
D: And really loud! I was standing right up against the speaker and I swear the vibrations exfoliated my legs and shook out my fillings.
L: I didn't exactly feel that kind of amp power, but you were standing like, three feet closer than me.
D: I realize I am making it sound as if we were at a drum and bass booty show or something, which is definitely overstating the case.
L: You were close enough to the stage that you could've easily reached over and grabbed the Elf Power lady's clarinet. I so wanted that to happen!
D: That would be a violation of her personal musician space. And since I could have only fumbled through an elementary-school level rendition of "When the Saints Go Marching In," not at all gratifying for anyone involved.
L: I have actually had "When the Saints Go Marching In" in my head since the show! This is your fault! Although I think the guy who busted into a drunken jig by himself near the end of Elf Power’s set would've loved your clarinet skills. After all, he was your boyfriend.
D: He was not my boyfriend, though I did find him kind of adorable. I usually am not amused by drunken antics, but he seemed really sincere and even knew some of the words to the songs.
L: Well, I have seen much worse "dancing by myself” drunks than that
D: Yes. You, for one. Anyway, I liked the Elf Power songs that used the clarinet the best. They're a band I have always known about in the back of my head but had never checked out. And now I have.
L: The stuff they did with Vic Chesnutt was really good.
D: Yeah, that was definitely the best. I liked how those songs were arranged a lot. I really liked how those songs were arranged.
L: Me too... But don’t repeat yourself twice for emphasis. That’s creepy. Also Vic Chesnutt was really funny.
D: He's quite a character. He's got a great sense of melody and humor.
L: I liked when he called out that lone drunken clapper with, "Hold your horses, white boy!" Ha! It's funny because it’s true!
D: What's true? The fact that the drunk guy was clapping? I think Mr. Chesnutt thought he was clapping because he thought the song was over, but he was really just doing his own percussion. I know because I was watching him, giving him the "knock it off" stare.
L: Oohhh... Apparently he didn't see you - because your "knock it off" stare means bizness!
D: Indeed. I loved how Vic Chesnutt was rocking out on his $30 acoustic guitar.
L: With what looked like a shoelace for a strap.
D: A series of shoelaces tied together. So many of his songs were about animals.
L: Indeed.
D: Teddy bears (dirty!), dogs (bilocating!), horses (stopped!).
L: Though a teddy bear is not really an animal. It's a toy.
D: Close enough.
L: They are pretend. Like dwarves.
D: There you go again. The Build-A-Bear dwarf constituency is so going to come after your ass.
L: So be it. Well this was fun! 2009 is going to be a great concert year. I think I'll drag you out to another show soon.
D: I'll see what my lawyer says.
Laura and D’Anne Witkowski are both freelance writers who sometimes go to shows and then converse about them. They are neither elves nor dwarves.