SWINE FEST IN HAMTRAMCK!

The first annual Hamtramck Music Awards (or "The Hammies," for short) at the Painted Lady this past Saturday night (February 2nd) were a total gas. Bootsey X (aka Bob Mulrooney) showed up to present the Polish Muslims with their Lifetime Achievement Award (which makes sense, as Bootsey and the Muslims’ Dave Uchalik played together in a latter-day version of the Mutants, not to mention the B.A.D. Band, a late-‘80s revue style “supergroup” featuring Bootsey, Art Lyzak, and Dave — B.A.D., get it? — backed by — shameless plug here — my brother Barry and what was left of Let’s Talk About Girls). The town’s mayor Karen Majewski danced all night long, "like there was no tomorrow,” according to event organizer Becki Carr. The Hentchmen and the Muslims played incredible sets, as patrons chowed down on Polish Village Cafe pierogis, Kowalski "Kowality" party plates, and delicious grape leaves from Lebanese Chicken. And, oh, yeah, the bar was even serving original recipe Valiums — not the drug, silly, but the infamous alcohol concoction originated at Lili’s 21 (which was on the same spot as the Painted Lady) decades ago. Steve-O's acceptance speech went on for a very long time, as might have been expected; the in-house DJ eventually warned that he would play Steve-O off the stage, "Oscar style," so the crowd started chanting Steve-O’s name until he left the stage, triumphantly holding his golden little pig. Jimmy Doom gave two acceptance speeches, one that wasn’t even his own. Matt Feazell (the artist who did the beautiful poster for the event

and also happens to be the Mayor's husband) was in tails and top hat. But it was emcee Nick Pivot who everyone agreed stole the show, especially with his opening "Top 10 Things Heard in Lili's Basement" routine. It was a stunningly good time

so look for a repeat performance next year. We’ve even heard via the grapevine that there will be a special reunion for next year’s event

and, no, it’s not the Mutants (though that possibility shouldn’t be ruled out, either).

A full list of winners follows:

Best Jukebox: The Painted Lady

Best Heckler: Jimmy Doom

Biggest Groupie/Fan: Steve-O

Best Recording: The Casket Bastards — Hot Rod Ghoul Dance Party

Musician of the Year: Timmy Vulgar

Best Overall Live Act: The Amino Acids

Lili Karwowski Lifetime Achievement Award: The Polish Muslims