The Slap Fight of the Year award goes to rock ’n’ roll’s two biggest pussies, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. That’s right, Lee and Rock threw down last night at MTV’s ever-dismal Video Music Awards ceremony in Vegas. Too bad the cat fight wasn’t televised (you can watch the MTV clip on the Internet, though) ’cause the fracas would’ve stolen the show, hands down. The ex-Pamela Anderson hubbies got into it when old man Lee reportedly gave the cigar-wielding Rock some gak (oh, yawn). So Rock smacked him. Minor hubbub ensued and old man Lee got the boot, while Rock was eventually cited by cops for misdemeanor battery or something. MTV.com quoted Rock outside the show as saying, “I never hit nobody for nothing before. I told him to shut the fuck up.”
Wait. Doesn't Rock have a new record coming out soon?
And the VMA’s? Jesus, why would anybody be inspired by or even support any of these assholes? With such a slow, ugly parade of pop parasites — millionaires so taken with their own image and place on celebrity’s pedestal — the best, most honest part of the night was Britney Spears’ half-baked lip-sync to “Gimme More.” Forget that the performance made her (again) the easiest, fish-in-a-barrel target for worldwide press goobs and celeb sycophants, Spears looked great. She did. She’s no longer hawking some over-aerobiczed fake image of a girl’s idea of what a man thinks a perfect woman should be. Nah, she appeared womanly, near-zaftig and fleshy, with a few gentle miles on her. Her moves were slower, more deliberate — a certain grace belied her trailer court stripper élan.
And if Spears was the most sincere bit on the VMA’s, well
