Enter the EMAFs: Cheesy bottle-service music gets its own awards ceremony, yay

If the only thing important to you when you're going out for the night is that the bottle service you're paying for is so ridiculous that you might as well burn your trust fund in a steel drum. And if all the drugs you're on are way more important than the music. If you think the skimpily dressed bartender really likes you, and that you should ask her out. If you not only don't realize that Skrillex and Diplo and Calvin Harris are part of the reason that the world is in the terrible state that it is in currently, but you like their work even the littlest bit, then congratulations!

You are a giant skeevy asshole, and the dreadfully shitty shit music that is the soundtrack to your cookie-cutter debauchery now has its own white-male-dominated awards ceremony, just for you. 

NOTE: WE LOVE DANCE MUSIC, ALSO ELECTRONIC MUSIC IN VERY MANY OF ITS GUISES. This is the Detroit metropolitan area, for Chrissakes; from the ONCE Festival to "Charivari" there's so much great music that is electronic and dance music that we do love — and not all of it is 40 years old.

Also, looking at this list of nominations — Jamie XX is not so bad, and ditto for at least one of those Radio 1 shows. We're not dissing Carl Cox; we've no idea what he's doing on this list of absolute tools.

This is a press release:

NOMINEES ANNOUNCED FOR THE INAUGURAL “ELECTRONIC MUSIC AWARDS & FOUNDATION”
SHOW TO AIR SATURDAY, APRIL 23, ON FOX

LOS ANGELES (Feb. 18, 2016) — The Electronic Music Awards & Foundation announced nominations for its inaugural show in seven categories this morning – Single of the Year, Album of the Year, Radio Show of the Year, Festival of the Year, DJ of the Year, Best New Artist and Best Club of the Year. The Electronic Music Awards & Foundation will be presented April 14th at the SLS Hotel in Los Angeles and airs Saturday, April 23 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.

“The nominees reflect dance music trends on a global level bringing together DJs, producers, clubs and brands that represent a wide range of genres,” says Executive Producer from TV4 Entertainment, Paul Duddridge.

The first-ever Electronic Music Awards & Foundation (EMAF) show will feature electronic music’s leading artists, creatives, executives and visionaries (to be announced). Among those being honored are the early trailblazers and legends of electronic music, as well as the top-trending acts of today. The show will feature red carpet coverage, awards presentations, interviews and live performances from electronic music’s biggest artists.

Nominees for the 2016 Electronic Music Awards & Foundation

Single of the Year
Calvin Harris & Disciples - How Deep is Your Love
The Chainsmokers - Roses (feat. ROZES)
Galantis - Runaway (U & I)

Kygo - Stole the Show (feat. Parson James)
Major Lazer & DJ Snake - Lean On (feat. MØ)

Album of the Year
Alina Baraz & Galimatias - Urban Flora
Calvin Harris – Motion
Disclosure - Caracal

Galantis – Pharmacy

Jamie xx - In Colour

Radio Show of the Year
BBC Radio 1 Essential Mix

BPM with Geronimo – Sirius XM

Danny Howard – BBC Radio 1’s Dance Anthems
Diplo and Friends - BBC Radio 1Xtra

Jason Bentley – Morning Becomes Eclectic – KCRW

Festival of the Year
Creamfields - Daresbury, England
Electric Daisy Carnival – Las Vegas, USA
Sonar - Barcelona, Spain

The BPM Festival - Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Ultra Music Festival - Miami, USA

DJ of the Year
Carl Cox
Diplo
Dixon
DJ Harvey
Skrillex

Best New Artist
Bob Moses
DJ Snake
Jauz
KSHMR
Kygo

Best Club of the Year
Amnesia
Fabric
Omnia
Sound LA
Zouk