Cover Story
Welcome to the 2017 Dubious Achievement Awards
As we look back at the Dumpster fire of a year that was 2017, it’s important to set our sights closer to home and honor Michigan’s best — the best of the worst, that is. That’s right, folks: It’s once again time for Metro Times’ annual Dubious Achievement Awards. OK, sure, this is really only…
Whitmer says she’s focusing on jobs, not gender
Across the country, a record number of women are running for governor — including Michigan Democratic candidate Gretchen Whitmer, who is the focus of a Washington Post report on the phenomenon published Monday. According to the report, at least 79 women are running or considering running nationwide, including 49 Democrats and 30 Republicans. Yet Whitmer has tended…
These are the songs nobody wants to hear on New Year’s Day
When your snoring, hungover ass is finally jolted awake on Jan. 1, 2018, chances are you’re going to drill back down under the covers and try to outsleep the pain. But you really tied it on the night before, and no amount of tossing and turning is going to help you avoid paying the price.…
DSO’s Michael Jackson-themed NYE bash will thrill you into 2018
Normally, kings are the patrons of classical composers. But this New Year’s Eve, with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, the king is the composer himself — the King of Pop, that is. That’s right, it’s DSO’s 2018 New Year’s Eve Bash, where the orchestra, under the baton of Brent Havens, will delve into the repertoire of…
A snowy owl made itself at home on Dan Gilbert’s One Campus Martius Building
Looks like Dan Gilbert has a new tenant in one of his downtown Detroit buildings. Quicken Loans team member Meg Bowyer spotted this plump snowy owl perched atop the One Campus Martius building yesterday. She tells Metro Times he made himself at home atop the high rise. “A bunch of people I work with kept…
Comedians share their first jokes of the new year at The Ark
So, a man walks into a bar… no, wait, let’s start over. A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender… shit. That’s not right. Best to leave this to the pros. A tradition that started more than a decade ago in Brooklyn has become a much-anticipated event in several comedy-centric cities across…
Rick Ross returns to Detroit after 2012 robbery for NYE bash at Masonic
Rapper Rick Ross seems to have forgiven the Motor City since his tour bus was ransacked and robbed after a Detroit show in 2012. Though his beef might still run deep with Trick Trick, Ross invites us to embrace forgiveness in the new year with the Hood Billionaire Tour at the Masonic Temple — a…
Revisit the David Lynch classic ‘Eraserhead’ with back-to-back midnight screenings
David Lynch does not make art for the faint of heart, nor are his films suited for those unwilling to dabble into “dreams of very troubling things.” His first full-length feature film, Lynch’s Eraserhead is still uncomfortably surreal in 2017. Celebrating its 40th anniversary, Eraserhead as a midnight movie may make for a telling first…
‘British Arrows’ to celebrate British commercials with bloody good time
Maybe you’re tangled in the drama of Coronation Street, or perhaps you’re a sneaky Peaky Blinders enthusiast. But what about the unsung heroes of British television? No need to book a flight — the DFT is bringing the best “adverts” from across the pond to the big screen. From the tongue-in-cheeky to the masterfully inventive…
With a new building owner, the future of Eastern Market’s Discount Candles remains undetermined
The Viola Building in Eastern Market has recently been purchased for just under the nearly $2 million asking price, according to Curbed Detroit. Related The building is home to Discount Candles, a store that specializes in 7-Day candles that are designed to help with any of life’s little problems (OK a healthy amount of superstitiousness…
Comedian D.L Hughley heading to Detroit Opera House
As a political commentator, actor, radio host, and stand-up comedian, the bow-tie-wearing, black-rimmed glasses enthusiast Hughley dresses the part as the professor of cool. Expect him to share his commentary on growing up, raising his own kids, the Obama years, and why you should never mess with a tiger. And who knows? He might even…
Reports: Detroit city councilman and former state rep. targeted in public corruption probe
Several current and former elected leaders from Detroit are being targeted by the feds as part of a broad public corruption probe that has so far produced bribery indictments for a local towing mogul and the ex-chief of a local trash company. Detroit City Councilman Gabe Leland, embattled former State Rep. Brian Banks (D-Detroit), and…
Locals say they’re spotting snowy owls in downtown Detroit
In early December, MLive reported that the Great Lakes region was likely to see an influx of Arctic immigrants this winter. The new neighbors will be coming in search of their favorite food: rodents. Snowy owls are flying south in large numbers, likely because there aren’t enough lemmings to sustain them throughout the winter, according…
Coyote spotted on Belle Isle — and it’s not the first time
Bad Axe, Mich. resident Scott Brown snapped a photo on Thursday, Dec. 28 of one of the elusive, yet frequently reported, coyotes of Belle Isle. Brown told the Detroit Free Press that after stopping his vehicle on Woodside Drive near Lake Okonoka he noticed the coyote staring at him from a nearby woodlot. The coyote lingered about…
3 days, 21 bands: Jam-packed Mittenfest returns for 12th year
Three days, 21 bands, and one hell of a way to give 2017 the kiss off. In its 12th year, Mittenfest has come a long way. Not only a fundraising event for 826michigan — a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting Ypsilanti students ages 6 to 18 with their creative and expository writing skills — Mittenfest…
Candidate says he’ll sue Gov. Snyder to move up election for Conyers’ seat
A candidate for the U.S. House seat vacated by former U.S. Rep John Conyers filed a lawsuit against Gov. Rick Snyder demanding that the election be moved up to an earlier date. On Dec. 8, Gov. Snyder had announced that Conyers’ congressional seat would remain empty until the regularly scheduled November election, leaving it vacant for nearly a…
Study says: Holidays put Detroit renters $890 in the hole
It should come as no surprise: The holidays are expensive and most people are doling out cash they don’t have to buy presents, decorations, and fancy dinners. A recent study conducted by Rent Cafe found that Detroit, which has already been found to be a terrible place for renters, is also a terrible place for…
Alt-country outfit Murder By Death to play Magic Stick
Bloomington, Indiana five-piece Murder by Death may have taken their name from a satirical Robert Moore film, but what they deliver is far removed. Gothic undertones (thanks to bursts of cello and haunting organ keys) with twangy, Wild West tumbleweed vibes is what sets Murder by Death apart from your typical alt-country outfit. The band,…
Detroit’s Gabriel Brass Band will bring NOLA vibes to PJ’s Lager House
Damn, check out that brass! Long-time local leader of the ever-transportive Gabriel Brass Band, Dameon Gabriel has music in his blood. When his family moved from New Orleans to Detroit in the ’40s, a bit of the Big Easy came with him and we are so glad it did. A full-blown entourage marching band, the…
Ska-Punk music fest ‘Black Christmas’ returns to Majestic Complex
It’s official. The holidays are over. Eff yes! What better way to flip the bird to all that is holly and jolly than to enlist some of the best punks in the biz. The lineup for Black Christmas is full of end-of-the-year angst. The Suicide Machines, Negative Approach, Mustard Plug, Bad Cop Bad Cop, and…
Matthew Dear promises 4-hour set for Marble Bar NYE bash
The best thing about the holidays is that they bring some of our local favorites back home. Such is true for Michigan native and Ghostly International co-founder Matthew Dear. Influenced heavily by the electronic landscapes of Brian Eno, Dear’s approach to electronic music is a bit more avant-pop. Dear promises a four-hour set for the…
Would-be scrappers shocked to death after breaking into Detroit substation
Two would-be scrappers have died from electrical shock after trying to steal copper from a public lighting substation on Detroit’s east side. According to police, one of the men was shocked when he made contact with a 24,000 volt transformer, then transmitted the current to his accomplice, killing them both. They had apparently been trying…
Metro Times’ restaurant critics’ top 10 desserts of 2017
Jane Slaughters’ top desserts Jerk chocolate ice cream at River Bistro: Chef-owner Maxcel Hardy said he wanted to marry his Bahamian background to his love of ice cream, so he designed this flavor and got Detroit Ice Cream Co. to whip it up. The big bowl was filled with rich chocolate that holds a hint of…
QLine to extend hours in 2018
QLine operators M-1 Rail have made a New Year’s resolution to extend the hours of Detroit’s streetcar in 2018. Beginning Jan. 1, the QLine will run until 2 a.m. on Friday and Saturday, until midnight Monday through Thursday, and until 11 p.m. on Sunday — putting the streetcar more in line with the nightlife of…
Legendary David Bowie to be honored with tribute concert at DIA
Calling all starmen and starwomen! The sun machine is coming down and there’s going to be a tribute of Ziggy proportions. As part of their ongoing free concert series, Friday Night Live, the Detroit Institute of Arts will host a David Bowie tribute concert on Friday, Dec 29. Phil Hale, James Simonson, Chris Codish, Skeeto Valdez,…
Deer heart identified as one of the ‘organs’ found at Detroit wastewater plant
One of four mysterious organ-like findings at the Great Lakes Water Authority wastewater plant made this month has been identified by the Wayne County Medical Examiner’s office as a deer heart. Related As MT previously reported, two objects resembling organs were retrieved from the wastewater facility’s screening area on Dec. 15 and 16 with additional…
Another Detroit pharmacist has been suspended for allegedly over-dispensing controlled substances
Joe’s Discount Pharmacy in Detroit has had its controlled substance license suspended after Michigan’s Department of Licensing and Regulatory Affairs (LARA) found the company has allegedly been over-dispensing controlled substances. According to a press release sent out by the department, the pharmacy “frequently dispensed commonly abused and diverted medications to patients, often in dangerous combinations.” The…
Party like it’s Tết with these Vietnamese ‘tamales’ in Madison Heights
It’s common for folks in Vietnam to ring in their Lunar New Year, Tết, with banh chung, a comfort dish that’s typically found in delis and sandwich shops, especially in the country’s north. Tết is still a month and a half off, but as our own new year approaches the folks at Madison Heights’ Le Banh Mi —…
Here’s where medical marijuana businesses have been approved in Michigan
When Michigan medical marijuana businesses are granted commercial licenses in the new year, don’t expect grow facilities and pot shops to pop up all over metro Detroit. Dispensaries and 500-plus plant grows have been legalized under rules approved last year by state lawmakers, but a rather small number of communities in the tri-county area have enacted…
Yet another suspected ‘organ’ turns up at Detroit wastewater plant
A fourth “object” has turned up at the Great Lakes Water Authority wastewater treatment plant in Detroit, the Detroit Free Press reports. Two suspected organs or anatomical “tissues” were found on Dec. 14 and 15 and with a third finding just last week. Related The GLWA has yet to determine what the objects are, all…
Why readers should be wary of headlines combining medical marijuana and crime
What’s the big deal with the headline: “1 shot dead at Detroit marijuana dispensary”? On its face, not so much. It certainly got our attention, because we’ve heard from dispensary operators that accounts of crimes at dispensaries are wildly overstated, and here would appear to be some evidence to the contrary. We braced ourselves, considering…
SMART offering free rides on new FAST service in metro Detroit
Metro Detroit travelers curious about SMART’s new FAST service will have a chance to test it out next month — free rides are being offered during the first two weeks of January. FAST (“Frequent Affordable Safe Transit”) is SMART’s first major change in more than 20 years, offering high-frequency, limited-stop routes along Woodward, Gratiot, and Michigan Avenues. The…
Check out this satellite image that proves Michigan winters are the worst
Breaking: It’s winter in Michigan and it’s absurdly cold. According to WXYZ, the forecasted low for tonight is 9 degrees Fahrenheit. Sunday night, it’ll be -2. Also, some snow fell a few days ago. But, why is it so freaking cold and where did this snow come from? Well, according to the National Oceanic and…
Edo Ramen House opens in Royal Oak
A new restaurant specializing in ramen and Asian fusion dishes opened yesterday in the former V&M Polish Kitchen and Fiddlehead’s space on 13 Mile Road. Eater reports that it’s a product of restaurateur Greg Vartanian and former Little Tree Sushi and Edamame chef/owner Eddie Bautista. Edo will specialize in ramen as will as Japanese poke,…
A brief history of pain and how a fidget spinner helped me quit smoking
I did not mean to quit smoking when I smoked my last cigarette four months, two weeks, three days, and roughly 18 hours ago. Nor did I think I would become an outspoken advocate for fidget spinners, but I’ve been known to surprise myself every now and again. I was 15 when my rebellious step-sister…
Michigan’s chocolatiers Sanders announce expansion plans
Beloved Michigan hot fudge and chocolate maker Sanders announced the company has purchased five acres of land next to its Clinton Township chocolate factory and headquarters. What could be in store for the 142-year-old brand? The company says via a press release that it hasn’t yet decided how it will use the land, but it…
Community advocate Michele Oberholtzer announces run for state representative
Over the years, we at MT have had the occasion to run a few opinion pieces from Michele Oberholtzer, a housing rights activists who has worked to keep Detroiters facing foreclosure in their homes. You may have also seen Oberholtzer in a Vice News video on the foreclosure crisis. Related Last week, she announced she’s getting…
How Detroit’s parking fines compare with other major U.S. cities
A federal class-action lawsuit filed against the city of Detroit and its private parking enforcement company alleges that the city’s parking fees are unlawful and unconstitutional. The complaint — filed just before Christmas in U.S District Court by two residents who received at least one parking ticket — charges that the city continues “to assess parking…
‘Sleeping Dogs Lie’ to be screened at the Maple
The holidays have a way of bringing old friends to town, but they don’t usually bring their projects with them. That’s different this year. Our old buddy Konstantinos “Dino” Kovas has come visiting from Southern California and he brought a film with him. It screens at the Maple this week. I guess it only makes…
Ex-Michigan State Trooper charged with teen’s death had a history of using stun gun inappropriately
According to personnel documents obtained by the Detroit News, former Michigan State Trooper Mark Bessner, who has been charged with murder in connection to the death of Detroit teen Damon Grimes, had a history of using his stun gun inappropriately. Related Just as worrisome, his superiors also had a history of failing to discipline him.…
Kid Rock is being sued by a circus
…OK, not just a circus but the circus: Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey is suing Kid Rock for infringing on its famous “The Greatest Show On Earth” slogan in the promotion of the rap-rocker’s upcoming tour. The circus, as Feld Entertainment, filed suit against Kid Rock and Live Nation on Friday, Dec. 22, in U.S. District Court’s…
Fisher Building’s new showcase celebrates Detroit neighborhoods
Since coming under new ownership in 2016, Detroit’s iconic Fisher Building has undergone a makeover of sorts. Purchased at auction by a development company called The Platform, the structure has seen cosmetic improvements as well as an overall image facelift. The Fisher’s arcade has hosted rock concerts, a half pipe, art exhibitions, and whiskey tastings.…
Shakira postpones world tour, upcoming Detroit date rescheduled
If you were looking forward to shaking it with Shakira next month, you’ll now have to wait until August. Twelve-time Grammy-winner Shakira has postponed her “El Dorado World Tour” per doctors orders — no, it has nothing to do with her hips. The Colombian songstress is recovering from an ongoing vocal chord injury. The tour,…
Amish buggy skiing is a thing, and it is gnarly
The Amish may be known for their ascetic lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean they don’t know how to enjoy the simple pleasures of Michigan winter. A Facebook video of a horse-drawn buggy pulling a man on skis in Morley, Mich. has gone viral. It was posted by Facebook user Tara Hayward on Christmas and has since been…
Snyder’s other huge atrocity
Well, I hope you had a great Christmas, or Hanukkah, or that the wind was with you when you burned that sacrifice to Baal. But there are thousands and thousands of Michigan citizens whose holidays may not have been as grand. Their lives were horribly damaged, even ruined, by our accountant governor’s spreadsheet philosophy of…
Metro Times’ restaurant critics’ top 10 dishes of 2017
As in the past several years, metro Detroit’s restaurant community grew exponentially in 2017. A crop of young, talented chefs launched their rookie efforts around the region. Several established and decorated chefs and restaurateurs returned to Detroit to ply their trade in their suddenly hot hometown. Some of the area’s biggest names opened or announced…
Review: Downsizing thinks big (by thinking small)
There are too many people on planet Earth, and we are having a devastating impact on the planetary environment. What if, instead of reducing the number of people, we just… reduced the people? This is the premise of Alexander Payne’s (Nebraska, The Descendants) first foray into science fiction, and it is absolutely stupendous: smart, funny,…
The Year of Covfefe
As the current year sashays into our rearview mirrors, I declare 2017 as the Year of Covfefe — the year of a lot of nonsense. A lot of that nonsense originated with President Donald Trump, who loves to strut around and take credit for coining new words and phrases. Back in October, he took credit…
Savage Love: Quickies
Quickies by Dan Savage I have been with my unicorn boyfriend for four months. The sexual chemistry between us is out of this world! I’m a woman who’s very open-minded when it comes to trying new things: I’ve had threesomes and foursomes, tried every toy on the market, done anal sex, BDSM, and many other…
Horoscopes (Dec. 27-Jan. 2)
ARIES: March 21 – April 20 You have done everything you can to make this work. What happens next depends on fate, and maybe a little on luck. If your motives have been clear and your soul is free of the issues that keep so many of us from realizing our dreams, your heart’s desire…
