Chowhound is a weekly column about what’s trending in Detroit food culture. Tips: [email protected].
While food cost inflation soars at a 30-year high, two corners of corporate America decided this month to trumpet how loftily out of touch they can be. Breakfast cereal giant Kellogg’s, for starters, just brain-farted loud and proud in the court of public opinion through its CEO, Gary Pilnick, who suggested consumers start turning to eating his company’s breakfast foods morning, noon, and night as an affordable alternative to procuring luxury-cost items like groceries for their families.
“The cereal category has always been quite affordable,” Pilnick pitched during a February interview with CNBC, “and it tends to be a great destination when consumers are under pressure. If you think about the cost of cereal for a family versus what they might otherwise do, that’s going to be much more affordable.”
Digest those words, ladies and gentlemen: Cereal suggested as a dietary “destination” for families who find balanced nutrition foodstuffs increasingly unaffordable. Save for Marie Antoinette’s infamous “Let them eat cake” line, it’s been ages since I’ve read something so infuriatingly elitist and callous toward a food supply-oppressed populace. Is this where we’re at here and now? Pilnick seems to think so.
“Cereal for dinner is something that is probably more on trend now,” he poured it on the proletariat while also talking with CNN. So be it, pal. Since you decided to stick your neck out on this one, I assume you’ll understand the populace wanting to have your head for it. This might be a good time to purchase a little Kellogg’s stock, my fellow peasants. I’m guessing it could go low after those comments.
And then there’s Wendy’s. Perhaps you’ve heard. At the time of this writing, company mouthpieces were walking back talk of “dynamic pricing” to come, which came from their high-horse head honcho, Kirk Tanner (CEO). During a February conference call with company investors and industry analysts, Tanner touted the company’s 2025 plans to “begin testing more enhanced (tech marketing) features like ‘dynamic pricing’ and daypart offerings, along with AI-enabled menu changes and suggestive selling.” Associating such terminology with how the rideshare companies couched the language of what’s now swallowed as “surge pricing” in consumer jargon, corporate and social media took those words and ran with them. The social media beatings, certainly, have been brutal. X (formerly Twitter) posted prolific snark and angry words to rally collective efforts to buy low from Wendy’s and sell entirely on the prospect of paying peak-time pricing, while some portrayed the company and its shareholders as Wolf of Wall Street types in merciless, mocking memes. One commenter I noted speculated the “dynamic” value of Wendy’s food may well flex down to almost nothing in the near future, should its prices truly come to reflect the drop in demand this roundly ridiculed allusion to possible surge pricing might elicit.
And potential market share dip hasn’t been lost on Wendy’s bigwigs since they stirred up this PR shit stew. As of Wednesday Feb. 28, an official press release insisted that Tanner’s comments were simply misconstrued, and that Wendy’s dynamic pricing plans going forward “will only deliver discounts and value during off-peak service times, leaving standard prices in play during high-demand hours.” If that’s your clarified company line, Wendy’s, fine, we’ll hold you to it. But methinks an angry mob took your greedy self by the pigtails and turned your actual intentions around. Power to the people! Now, maybe that same throng should campaign to neuter Tony the Tiger for his boss’s big mouth, and buoy a boycott of Kellogg’s, sending more of a message to any and all other food supply profiteers out there that we’ve had it with all the price-gouging going on with manufacturers and suppliers still playing the COVID economy blame game. We’re over it and calling bullshit, period.
On the flip side, can we customers just get past the expectation of free desserts from restaurateurs for all our special occasions? Seriously, folks. Have a heart. This fishing for freebies every time we mention someone at our table celebrating something needs to stop. Between birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, recent bar mitzvahs, clear colonoscopy test results, and assorted other causes for celebration, we’ve been asking a lot for nothing.
I get it. We all think our life’s milestones should be celebrated and our business appreciated, but where in the world did we get the idea that restaurants should foot the bill for any sweets we choose to treat ourselves to in the process? Go buy gas on your birthday and ask for a free gallon just because. Take note of the attendant’s WTF reaction. Next time you’re at the grocery store, tell the cashier it was your anniversary last week and see if he or she says, “You know what then, please, enjoy that bag of frozen fries with our compliments.” While no one entertains expectations of getting freebies when out shopping retail, so many restaurant goers throw out the term “special occasion” while making reservations or mulling dessert menus as bait for a free dessert hook-up from restaurants. That’s unfortunate, and it’s asking these businesses to assume costs higher than you might expect. In a full-service world where profit margins run around 10% of total revenue, that $8 cheesecake you and three companions do or don’t pay for during your friend or family member’s $80 birthday luncheon can make the difference between a place turning a profit or not on your visit. It isn’t a restaurant’s responsibility to spring for presents on their customer’s special occasions any more than it is our utility companies to not charge us for gas and electricity while we’re having birthday cake at home. Let’s stop trying to leverage our customer loyalty with what — perpetrated numerous times a day in any given eatery — adds up to an annual expense hard-pressed restaurants will continue to silently endure for the sake of doing business, suffering the indignity of customers too cheap to spring for a celebratory gesture themselves.
By the way, to some out there: Restaurants know damn well how much you’re lying about your birth and anniversary dates, unless you’re counting in dog years. It’s a shame some have resorted to asking for ID and setting days-before and days-after date limits on complimentary dessert offers. That shame, ultimately, is on you.
