Media Blackout

Now I’m not saying we won’t get our hair mussed, Mr. President, but I estimate we’re looking at no more than MB43, tops! • Buckwheat Zydeco — Jackpot! (Tomorrow) :: Purists may decry the primitive Bill Haley commerciality of songs like “Rock, Boogie, Shout” but Buck’s turgid, son, which is why this just might be the biggest-selling record of his career. • Embrace — Out of Nothing (Lava) :: Power balladry at its best, even if their enveloping anthems do sound a bit too U2 for my liking. • Situation Nowhere — One of the Loudest Tragedies Ever Heard (Wedgie) :: Their wonky inflective singer sounds just like Pee-Wee Herman, but the playhouse pudknocker never had a butane-burning band like this rocking out behind him. • Icky Boyfriends — A Love Obscene (Menlo Park) :: Talent is an asset and these retards don’t have it. • Flashlight Arcade — The Art of Blacking Out (OTR) :: Yet another poky record from five slackids too lazy to spell-check their inane lyrics. • Scary Kids Scaring Kids — The City Sleeps In Flames (Immortal) :: The singer’s vox sounds a little like John Foxx so why does he insist on screaming? • Kazzer — Broke (Linus) :: When a “marshal arts champion” makes a rap record, I expect to hear the aural equivalent of lean, mean Ken Shamrock, not gabby flabby Chris Tucker. • SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Chris Beard — Live Wire (Northern Blues) :: Now here’s one Chris who ain’t tuckered out, not by a long shot. Taped on stage in Michigan and Chicago and in the studio in New York, guitarist CB gets hot on the sizzlin’ JB funkified sax ’n’ organ good foot with an added dose of primo Prince percolation tossed in for bad bluesy measure. • Be seeing you.