11 Motor City-themed love letters to give to your sweetheart on Valentine's Day

By Metro Times editorial staff on Wed, Feb 13, 2019 at 4:49 pm

Ahh yes, Valentine's Day.

The Hallmark holiday that smitten couples love to love – and bitter singles love to hate. Regardless of your relationship status this Valentine's Day, you can take part in a little commercialized holiday fun by sending your longtime lover or newly swiped sweetie a Detroit-themed Valentine. Because what else could accurately define your love than the saccharine sentiment from Sterling Heights' newly erected Golden Butthole?

You're welcome.

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From Joumana Kayrouz: Valentine, I promise that our love is no accident.

From Joumana Kayrouz:

Valentine, I promise that our love is no accident.

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From the Church of Scientology: Roses are red, violets are blue, my love for you could rival the strength of Xenu.

From the Church of Scientology:

Roses are red, violets are blue, my love for you could rival the strength of Xenu.

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From Quicken Loans: Don't worry, Valentine, my love is not on loan  but it is high interest.

From Quicken Loans:

Don't worry, Valentine, my love is not on loan – but it is high interest.

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From Lafayette and American Coney Islands: Why pick one wiener when you could have two, Valentine?

From Lafayette and American Coney Islands:

Why pick one wiener when you could have two, Valentine?

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From the People Mover: Don't worry, Valentine. What I lack in length I make up for in personality.

From the People Mover:

Don't worry, Valentine. What I lack in length I make up for in personality.

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From the Joe Louis Fist: No need to clench up, Valentine. My love is true.

From the Joe Louis Fist:

No need to clench up, Valentine. My love is true.

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From an Illitch-owned parking lot: I have space in my heart for you, Valentine.

From an Illitch-owned parking lot:

I have space in my heart for you, Valentine.

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From Robocop: Come quietly, Valentine. Or there will be...trouble.

From Robocop:

Come quietly, Valentine. Or there will be...trouble.

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From the Qline: Hop on, Valentine. I promise this relationship won't go too fast.

From the Qline:

Hop on, Valentine. I promise this relationship won't go too fast.

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From potholes, everywhere: Hold on tight to me, Valentine, you're in for a bumpy ride.

From potholes, everywhere:

Hold on tight to me, Valentine, you're in for a bumpy ride.

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From the Sterling Heights "Golden Butthole" statue Pucker up, Valentine.

From the Sterling Heights "Golden Butthole" statue

Pucker up, Valentine.

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