100 Things All Detroiters Should Do Before They Die

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66) Stop traffic in the Slow Roll: The Motor City? Try Detroit Bike City. For the past few years, the Slow Roll has attracted thousands of bicyclists and even more stares as the massive group meets weekly and rides through different neighborhoods. It may be annoying to stopped traffic, but, hey — they’re traffic too.

60) Dispel stereotypes at the Arab International Festival: Too many Americans think of the Middle East as a monolithic place where everybody is the same. You couldn’t be further from the truth, and it’s actually remarkable to see the multitude of people from the Arab world all celebrating cheek-to-jowl at the Arab International Festival. And then there’s all that energy this immigrant community has brought to what was a fading Dearborn: A friend pointed out that, 40 years ago, you could have fired a shot down Warren Avenue and not hit a soul. Don’t try it today.

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61) Make falling down look good while ice-skating at Campus Martius: We know: It’s no Rockefeller Center, but the rink at Campus Martius is close enough. (Heck, it’s bigger than Rockefeller’s — take that, dinky rink!) An annual tree-lighting ceremony kicks off the holiday season, and the park hosts the annual Motown Winter Blast as well, imbuing the ice with winter magic, and all in the heart of the city. Amid surroundings this grand, you’re a star even when you biff.

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62) Take the Marche du Nain Rouge, and explain to everyone that the red dude isn’t Satan: See, in French, nain rouge means “red dwarf.” Now I know we tend to associate those with skin redder than L. Brooks Patterson with demons, but many argue that the nain rouge is more like an imp or leprechaun than Lucifer. Just with horns and a tail. Frankly, by the time you’ve marched in this costume parade and poured into a nearby bar to drink with revelers, you won’t care anymore. Thought up spontaneously several years ago, this costumed shindig draws droves of young Detroiters hoping to chase the city’s bad times away. Add to their numbers.

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63) Go to Detroit Soup, and discover that soup is exciting: We know what you’re thinking: How great can a soup event be? In fact, soup has very little to do with the whole thing. Yes, you eat soup while listening to one entrepreneur after another pitch an enterprise, before all in attendance vote on who gets the evening’s take, which is that whole crowdfunding thing without computers. And there’s much more than soup on offer too, of surprising quality and generally very friendly to all dietary restrictions.

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64) Visit U-Detroit bar and see the awesome Rod Stewart impersonator: Danny D walks around Detroit looking pretty much exactly like Rod Stewart — and he does a damned fine job singing like him too. Combine that with the suave surroundings of the UDetroit Café on beautified Randolph Street, and you have the makings of a sweet evening.

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65) See a Lions game and drink at a tailgate party: Sure, drinking outside is not strictly legal, but the powers that be turn a blind eye to the fans gathering in parking lots all over downtown before the big game at Ford Field. And by the time the game is over, everybody usually really needs a drink.

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67) Sing “Schnitzelbank” 10 times in a given busy evening at Dakota Inn Rathskeller: The old-school German biergarten by John R & Six Mile is one of those hidden surprises awaiting the unwitting. Featuring German beer, German food and German song, you’ll sing along with the piano player and perhaps learn a bit of Deutsch while you’re at it.

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68) See what ice cream can be at Shatila Bakery: If you have an ice cream jones, don’t just sate it, exploit it at Shatila Bakery, purveyor of super-premium flavors including apricot, mango, pineapple and — perhaps unique to Shatila — kashta. Don’t be confused by the fruit names — these are not sherbets but a mixture of fruit purées and butterfat, having that rich taste and velvety texture that only cream can bestow. You only live once.

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69) Have a drive-through Christmas at Hines Park Lightfest: Wayne County gives us more than failed jails and bungling public officials — it also gives us Hines Park Lightfest, the longest, largest drive-through light show in the Midwest. Join the convoy of cars for $5, and see mile after mile of lighted displays heralding the holidays. But you don’t need to use fossil fuels for the trip, as bicycles have become more and more popular on the “drive,” and they make it easier to get off the road and enjoy the festival’s other attractions.

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70) Visit Detroit’s Historical Museum: Fresh off a revamp, the Detroit Historical Museum boasts fresh exhibits, expanded display area, and absolutely free admission, so there’s no reason not to go. But unchanged by the renovations are the Streets of Old Detroit down in the basement, where you can trod cobblestones and see what the city looked like ages ago. Don’t pass up the past again.

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71) Go on a D:Hive bus tour: Though it’s true that Detroit has tens of thousands of vacant buildings, it’s not all despair-inducing. That’s where D:Hive comes in. Passengers should prepare to see an upbeat, active, burgeoning Detroit they would never see on the shooting-filled evening news. Get on the bus.

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72) Eat the mystery meat of the day at Green Dot Stables: At the Green Dot, you can get small but tasty “sliders” whose flavors dance all over the map. One could order shoestring fries and four of the joint’s exotic sandwich creations — ranging from corned beef to catfish to a Korean-inspired peanut butter-and-kimchi burger — for $15 plus tax. But the adventurous can try the “mystery meat” slider, a rotating daily special that can range from elk to beef tongue.

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73) See art designed to resonate in Detroit at MOCAD: You won’t always see a whole lot of Detroit art at MOCAD, as the city’s contemporary art museum mostly draws in an exciting array of today’s international art stars. But the repurposed old warehouse off Woodward hosts programming intended to engage the people of this city, and it ranges from wall hangings to sculpture to film to music to performance art to such high-concept pieces as Mike Kelley’s “Mobile Homestead.”

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75) Check out Pewabic Pottery: Born at an Alfred Street stable in 1903, Pewabic Pottery is now more than 100 years old and a local, nay, national institution. Pewabic offers education, exhibitions, design and fabrication programs, classes, workshops, lectures, internships and residency programs for studio potters, as well as outreach programs, workshops, summer apprenticeships, and classes for gifted and talented students. (And you thought they just made tiles.)

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76) Buy affordable art at the CCS Student Exhibition: The College for Creative Studies students spend all year making work for this end-of-the-year exhibition, and collectors come early to snatch up paintings, photographs, sculptures and more from tomorrow’s great artists and designers. The opening reception is a great opportunity to drink wine and check out the college’s campus.

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77) See a play at the Detroit Rep: The Detroit Repertory Theatre, or “the Rep” as it’s often known, is tucked away on a depopulated stretch of Woodrow Wilson Street on the city’s west side. For more than a half-century, “the Rep” has staged several plays a year, including plenty of national premieres of topically important work. All productions have a prestige factor, with quality sets, pitch-perfect lighting design, and a tight technical ensemble that keeps productions at the Rep on-time and humming.

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78) Attend an after-hours event at the Detroit Zoo: Sure, you can go to the zoo and see all of the animals. Yes, the polar bear glass tunnel is spectacular, as is the butterfly house. But why do what everyone else is doing? Instead, when the weather gets warm, hop on over there in the evening and watch a cool local band. Take a picnic basket. Shit, take the kids.

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79) Watch the Polar Bear Club take an ice-cold dip: We can’t in good conscience advise you to jump into freezing cold water in the middle of winter, but we can suggest that you go and watch everybody else doing it. The air is cold enough in Detroit in January when you’re dry. God only knows what possesses these loons to get in the Detroit River when breath is visible, but they do raise money for charity, so, fair enough.

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80) Salsa dance at Vicente’s: There are plenty of places in metro Detroit that offer dance lessons. Fewer places that offer Cuban cuisine. But there is only one place, to our knowledge, that offers both, and that’s downtown Detroit’s Vicente’s, where you can have ropa vieja and then, starting at 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday, get out on the dance floor.

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100 Things All Detroiters Should Do Before They Die

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