Best Married Dating Sites for Discreet Affairs

It happens to many of us, at some point along the way in our relationships - the spark is gone or we hit the rocks. Maybe we even become interested in exploring polyamory as a couple. Married dating sites exist for these reasons and more.


If you're considering an affair or are a couple seeking a third, keep reading. 

I've compiled a list of the best married dating sites where you can find someone to connect with in a judgment-free environment. After all, no one should have to justify their sex life to anyone.

Read on to discover which married dating app might be best for you.

First Look - Dating Apps for Married People

Best Married Dating Sites, Rated and Reviewed

1. Ashley Madison - Best Married Dating Site Overall

Pros

  • Free messaging for ladies

  • Incognito browsing tools

  • Save favorite members

  • Public and private media access

Cons

  • Men pay for messaging

  • Expensive pricing structure

Price

  • 100 credits for $49

  • 500 credits for $149

  • 1,000 credits for $249

Ashley Madison has built a reputation for assisting married folk in seeking extramarital connections. The platform has facilitated numerous secret encounters and even has the tagline “Life is short. Have an affair”.

How does it work?

Ashley Madison operates similarly to other dating apps but with enhanced privacy features. You can blur your photos and disguise the app as something else, allowing you to pursue a discreet affair without being detected.

These free incognito filters are accessible to all users. 

As a premium member, you can also use customized face masks that partially obscure your face if you prefer not to blur it completely.

You can even conceal your billing information to prevent your partner from becoming suspicious.
Charges will appear from restaurants or boutiques, enabling you to communicate with online matches without worrying about prying eyes.

While it may seem controversial, the site has naturally attracted a large number of members—over 60 million worldwide.

Perhaps one of Ashley Madison's smartest features is free messaging for women. This naturally attracts more women to the site, helping to balance the ratio of men and women and providing plenty of opportunities for a secret rendezvous.

You can create a public photo gallery to showcase your best features and a private gallery to share more intimate photos, if you get my drift.

The best part? 

Ashley Madison provides easy search options to hook up with someone who fulfills your fantasies. You can use location and demographic filters to connect with nearby users who match your preferences.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? 

Check out Ashley Madison, my favorite married dating site

2. Victoria Milan - Married Dating Site for No-Strings-Attached Fun

Pros

  • Helpful anonymous tools

  • Virtual gifts

  • Easy account verification

  • Conversation starters


Cons

  • It’s hard to cancel your subscription

  • Unresponsive customer service

Price

  • 1 month: $27.12

  • 3 months: $16.27/month

  • 6 months: $10.85/month

  • 12 months: $8.14/month

If you're looking for a site that offers no-strings-attached fun and focuses on discretion, Victoria Milan might be just what you need.

It boasts some of the best anonymity tools, second only to Ashley Madison. These tools, such as anonymous billing, help keep your secret affair hidden from your spouse.

What should you expect?

Well, after signing up, you'll need to add a profile picture to verify your account. If you're hesitant about uploading a photo, you can use the incognito masking tools for free. 

These options include blurring your face, redacting parts, or adding a Zorro-like mask to disguise your face from prying eyes.

The online dating profiles are detailed, similar to those on reputable dating sites. They include information such as best attributes, marital status, and the type of relationship being sought, giving you a clear idea of potential matches.

The app also allows you to apply for verification and earn a blue tick, ensuring that what you see is what you get. While looking for an affair, you certainly don't want to get catfished.

The site offers some conversation starters for those who are timid or new to seeking an affair. You can send a “like” or a “wink” to initiate a sex chat with someone who catches your eye.

Premium users can also send virtual gifts to woo their crush, starting with a 20-credit rose and progressing to more expensive gifts for those who steal their hearts. Although it can get pricey if done frequently, it's a great way to ease into the experience and have some fun.

Find a no-strings-attached affair on Victoria Milan

3. HeatedAffairs - Top Married Dating Site for Affairs or Threesomes

Pros

  • Find affairs, threesomes, or a full swap

  • Sign up with a single, or a couple's account

  • NSFW profile pics

  • Kink search available


Cons

  • Some outdated profiles

  • Website could do with an upgrade


Price

  • 1 month Gold: $19.95

  • 3 months Gold: $38.85

  • 12 months Gold: $119.40

HeatedAffairs is one of my top sites for married folks for a reason…. It’s not just about affairs; this site works for people looking to open up their marriage and meet others who match their vibe, too. 

You can sign up on your own or join with a couple's account if you’re up for trying out swinging or finding a third. 

Be open on the site. 

Including your marital status and what you’re looking for helps other members identify their could-be position in your life right from the start. That could be a hookup, a longer affair, a third, FWBs, or a full swap. There are plenty of options. 

The site itself looks quite similar to AdultFriendFinder. 

The biggest similarity is the NSFW profiles. Naughtiness is encouraged here, so don't be surprised to see naked pics or some kind of kinkiness as you browse who’s available.

There is a catch, though. 

Only premium users can have full access to all profiles. Despite offering free membership, you will have to upgrade to a Gold account to keep drooling over those boobs and booties.

Once you find a few matches, you can save your new FWBs to a “Hot List”, where you’ll easily find them whenever you are online and want to arrange a rendezvous. Why stick to one person, after all?

HeatedAffairs also offers a kink search that will help you find a fetish partner if you’re into exploring all the kinky stuff out there. If you've been trying to convince your partner to try it with no luck, you’ll probably find someone here who will. 

Sounds ideal, doesn’t it?

Sign up for HeatedAffairs and find affairs, threesomes, or full swaps

4. Seeking - Discreet High-End Dating App for Married People

Pros

  • Free for women

  • Video chat available

  • Available in 130 countries

  • Verification available


Cons

  • It’s expensive 

  • Not just a married dating site

Price

  • 30-day membership: $109.99

  • 3-month membership: $289 total

  • Diamond package: $274.99/month

If you're looking for some luxury, you might want to consider a high-end married dating site like Seeking.

Whether you're successful and looking for someone to match your vibe or you're simply striving for a sophisticated affair, this site has plenty of choices. The site is expensive, but what do you expect from a high-end dating site?

You'll find people looking for no-strings relationships, longer-term affairs, and also legit relationships, so make sure you add what you're looking for to your profile.

So, what’s on offer?

The site is available as a website and a dating app, meaning you can connect with other members in a few clicks, no matter where you are. 

You can also sign in discreetly using your Facebook account and import your info and photos instead of uploading new ones. 

Talk about convenience, right?

Signing up involves adding mandatory profile pictures, ensuring there are no blank profiles. Like other sites, Seeking offers both public and private photo galleries to separate your standard profile pics from the naughty “for-your-eyes-only” shots.

You also have the option to get verified on Seeking. 

You can do this in various ways, including social media and ID verification. Sure, it might be a bit of a faff, but it does help to prove your legitimacy and attract more attention from other members.

The married dating site has approximately 10 million users worldwide, so if you're off on a business trip and want to test things out, you’ll find people from 130 countries. 

If that’s not enough, Seeking also has a pretty neat video call feature. While that might seem a bit strange if you want to keep things hush-hush, it does help you ascertain if the person you’re chatting with is real and protect yourself against catfishing.

Have a high-end affair on Seeking

5. No Strings Attached - Married Dating Site Dedicated to Hookups

Pros

  • User-friendly navigation

  • Message templates available

  • Good search filters

  • Widely varied user base

Cons

  • Outdated web interface

  • It can get expensive


Price

  • 150 credits: $29

  • 300 credits: $49

  • 750 credits: $99

  • 2,500 credits: $299

If you're in the slightly older demographic and want to have a bit on the side, NoStringsAttached could be your site.

While it needs a design update, the online dating site attracts users across all age demographics. For older users, the site is pretty straightforward and easy to use, which is perfect if you get a little overwhelmed by more snazzy websites.

Rather than showing you random suggestions of who to connect with, you’ll have to use a manual search to find people you might like. 

Yes, it might take a bit more legwork, but the search function is pretty good and lets you select the gender, age, and location of your match.

You can also kick things up a notch by specifying desirable physical features that turn you on. You know, big boobs, peachy booty, or even things like brown eyes and black hair, if that’s your thing. 

What impressed me was that you can sign up, search, and even browse people's photos without paying a dime. 

That means you can use the site for free until you see someone you want to connect with.

When you find someone, you'll have to buy some credits to message, but that's where things get interesting. If you find yourself lost for words, you can use the site's template messages while you think of some pick-up lines. 

Once you find your rhythm and things start to get saucy, you can share more intimate pics and use messenger to get to know them better before meeting. 

Everyone is different, though. Who knows, you might just want to get straight in there.

Find a casual affair on No Strings Attached

6. AdultFriendFinder - Top Casual Dating Site for Affairs

Pros

  • NSFW profiles

  • Cool adult blogs and magazines

  • Lots of customizable features

  • 80 million users


Cons

  • No free profile views

  • Messaging is a paid feature


Price

  •  $39.95 for one month

  •  $80.85 for three months

  • $239.40 for 12 months

If adding some spice back into your sex life is your ultimate goal, then Adult Friend Finder is a top site to use. There are no better online dating sites to meet someone interested in casual sex than AdultFriendFinder.

If your partner isn't in the mood for sex, you'll find plenty of people here who will happily oblige your desires without any need for commitment.

The website uses a location-tracking tool to suggest matches nearby who are down for a fling. Just be aware that this is one of the most uncensored affairs sites out there, allowing its users to display their goods for all the world to see on their NSFW profiles.

The only downside is that you can't view full profiles for free here.

Yes, it's a bit of a bummer, but the silver lining is that you can access a profile preview and even send a wink to someone who has caught your eye without needing to pay. 

This lets you gauge the temperament of your potential match before sliding into their DMs with those saucy chat-up lines.

Once you decide to go for it, a premium membership will give you access to unlimited messages to chat.

You'll find a stack of kinks here, too, and a kink school if you're up for trying things out but don't know where to start. There are even live cams if you need something to help you get in the mood. 

For the cost, this site is definitely one to consider.

Hook up with someone on AdultFriendFinder

Best Dating Sites for Married People - FAQs

Have I piqued your interest? If you still have questions, take a look at my FAQs.

Furthermore, the top escort sites might also be up your alley.

Are Married Dating Apps Safe?

Yes, married dating apps are generally safe to use. Sites like Ashley Madison and Victoria Milan offer tools like face blurring or incognito browsing to protect user identities. 

However, despite these precautions, there is always a risk of being found out. You need to weigh up the pros and cons of your situation, before diving head in. 

Other things to be cautious of are scammers and catfish. 

To minimize the risk of scams or catfishing, I’ve put together some top tips below. 

  1. Avoid interacting with profiles lacking profile pictures, which are often spam or bots.

  2. Steer clear of users who ask for money, even if you’ve previously connected with them.

  3. Prioritize chatting with verified users, as they have been confirmed as real individuals.

  4. Insist on a video call to verify the identity of your match.

  5. Don’t share any personal financial information with anyone online.

  6. When arranging a meeting, opt for public spaces to avoid a safety risk.

What is the Best Married Dating App?

The best married dating app is Ashley Madison. This site takes discretion to another level—just what you want when you’re looking for an affair. As well as blurring your photos, it has an incognito billing feature, and even allows you to disguise its app. 

Are There Any Risks to Married Dating?

Yes, there are risks to married dating. Remember, we’re talking about having an affair here, which can lead to people getting hurt emotionally if you’re found out, and potentially life-changing consequences. 

If you do want to go through with an affair, think carefully before setting things in motion. Sometimes, it’s better to see if your partner would be willing to try a more open relationship.

Remember, though, it’s your choice.

Are There Any Free Online Dating Apps for People Who Want Affairs?

Yes, there are free online dating apps for people who want affairs. Swinger sites work, too.

These dating apps typically operate on a freemium model, allowing users to create an account and access basic features like searching for free. Ashley Madison even offers women totally free access. 

Full access to messaging, profile views, and interactive features on other sites normally requires a paid account. If you’re on a budget, try Heated Affairs or Victoria Milan, which have some budget-friendly subscriptions. 

Dating for Married People - In Conclusion

Up for an affair? Or maybe opening up your marriage? Even if your marriage is going through a rough patch, it doesn't mean you should abandon the idea of companionship altogether.

Using platforms like Ashley Madison or HeatedAffairs, you can explore numerous avenues, such as affairs or poly situations.

As my top recommendations demonstrate, there are choices available for everyone. 

Why not explore them for yourself?