Savage & son

Dan Savage is the king of kink. His weekly sex advice column, “Savage Love,” is syndicated to 70 newspapers worldwide (including this one — see page 74). These days, when he’s not fielding questions on everything from anal tampon insertion to zoophilia, Savage is touring to promote his fourth book, The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family. The book tells the story of Savage and his real-life boyfriend, Terry Miller, and their struggle over whether to get married to commemorate their 10th anniversary.

Told with Savage’s acerbic humor and heart-tugging poignancy, The Commitment puts a human face on the hot-button issue of gay marriage.

Metro Times got to ask Savage a few questions before his Ann Arbor reading.

Metro Times: You claim to be a big believer in relationship jinxes. Isn’t writing a book about getting married the ultimate jinx?

Dan Savage: Absolutely.

MT: Then why risk it?

Savage: When I came out 22 years ago, coming out meant no kids, no marriage, no family, really limited job prospects. You paid a high social price for being gay. The world has changed so much, so rapidly for gays and lesbians that, this moment in time, this transition to normality, needs to be documented.

MT: Your writing embodies the old feminist slogan, “the personal is the political.” Why does this approach work so well?

Savage: Because when it comes to issues of homosexuality, it is extraordinarily personal. There’s no other way to approach it. Homosexuality is not a controversial topic, we are controversial people. What’s being debated is the way we live our lives. You can’t separate gay personal from gay political — they’re one and the same.

MT: What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

Savage: From a boyfriend early on. When I got stressed out, thinking I did something wrong or the sex wasn’t perfect, he said, “Calm down, it’s just sex.” His attitude was, you get another shot at it, so don’t worry.