We’re not trying to depress you but, uh, summer is sort of, like, well, coming to an end. OK, OK, we’re sorry. We shouldn’t have said that without your therapist present, but if you’re anything like us then you have a list of things that maybe you haven’t gotten around to doing because of time, work, life, or, oh, you know, the FUCKING CORONAVIRUS. From places to visit from a distance, heading to the woods for some glamorous R&R, grabbing some summer-fied foods, or taking to the streets for a good cause, here are a few things you may have missed out on but are not too late to take part in. Endless summer? Sure. Whatever keeps you sedated.

Go glamping like a nature-hating diva 6573 State Park Rd., Caseville; 989-856-4411; ww2.dnr.state.mi.us Ew, bugs. Ew, air. Ew, nature. If you’re someone who may not love the idea of sleeping or shitting on the ground, there are Michigan glamping spots, aka glamorous camping. Some Michigan State Parks have been paid a visit by the glamping fairy, including that of Sleeper State Park in Caseville, which is now equipped with select waterfront “Tentrr” sites. Each site has a spacious, safari-style, canvas-walled tent on a platform and includes a queen-size memory foam mattress on what is described as a “sturdy” bed frame, a propane stove, Adirondack chairs, a fire pit, a grill, and picnic tables with storage. The sites are near park facilities like showers and flush toilets. Guests will have to bring their own bedding, so don’t forget to pack your 200,000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. Photo via Sleeper State Park/Facebook
Catch the massive Marvel exhibit at The Henry Ford 20900 Oakwood Blvd., Dearborn; 313-982-6001; thehenryford.com Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear iron suits, wield iron hammers, or are spider-people and will do whatever it takes to stop that purple finger-snapping asshole from destroying the universe. Don’t know what we’re talking about? Know exactly what we’re talking about? For anyone missing out on the annual summer blockbuster season, there’s Marvel: Universe of Superheroes, which spans the comic giant’s 80-year legacy with more than 300 artifacts ranging from early comic books and rare illustrations to concept art, as well as beloved props and costumes from Marvel’s decade of box office domination. The exhibit is up until January of next year, but why wait? After all, everything could change in a snap. Photo is courtesy of The Henry Ford
Attend a virtual summer festival It may feel as though summer itself was canceled. Unfortunately, we can’t get a refund on time wasted, or all the moments we legitimately did not know what day it was. What we can do is take our laptop to our backyard, rock a crop top, hit our vape, and tune into a late summer festival, many of which are offering virtual programming so we don’t suffer the fatal blow of summer FOMO. Check out the virtual lineup from events like the Detroit Jazz Festival, Charivari, Michigan State Fair, Detroit Out Loud, and Arts, Beats, & Eats. Detroit Jazz Fest by Len Katz
Get wild at the Detroit Zoo 8450 W. 10 Mile Rd., Royal Oak; 248-541-5717; detroitzoo.org This summer has been wild, hasn’t it? No? Oh, right. We’ve been caged up for months and we’re feeling downright feral. Take a walk on the wild side where the deer and antelope roam — the Detroit Zoo. Though some of the zoo’s indoor exhibits are unavailable for guests, why not soak up the sun with the alligators, lions, tigers, and all the other sun-loving animals? Photo via Patti Truesdell/Detroit Zoological Society
Get wet with Detroit River Sports 14601 Riverside Blvd., Detroit; 313-908-0484; detroitriversports.com Not all of us are born leaders, in fact, most of us are followers. So why not just lean into it like the little sheep you are and let the folks at Detroit River Sports handle this one? We’re not really sure how well sheep fare on water but we think you will do just fine. Detroit River Sports specializes in private and group kayak and standing paddleboard tours of the Detroit River as well as the islands of the city’s east side. They offer morning, afternoon, and sunset kayak tours, as well as full moon tours and trips through Belle Isle. Photo via Detroit River Sports/Facebook
Self-guided Detroit street art tour … you can do it! various Detroit locations This one requires a bit of imagination, GPS skills, and a sense of adventure because though Detroit’s cultural institutions are open, not everyone is feeling comfortable enough to hang indoors just yet. So, why not do it yourself? No, not like that. Hop in the car and cruise Detroit to take in some world-class art. From murals in Eastern Market to quirky neighborhood installations via the Heidelberg Project, nearly every Detroit neighborhood has an art story to tell. Crank up the A/C in your Hyundai, put on some tunes, and take in the sights from a safe distance. Also, did someone say a cheap date idea? Peep the city’s mural guide or The Detroit Mural Project for a more detailed look at Detroit’s street art. Photo by Steve Neavling
Take a hike! No, really! 4300 Main Park Rd., Shelby Twp. The drive to Stony Creek Metropark is just as scenic the 4,461-acre park itself, which spans Washington, Oakland, and Shelby Townships with hills, mills, orchards, and wide-open spaces and fresh air. You do remember fresh air, don’t you? What we’re getting at is log the eff off and take in the scenery before it’s covered in snow. Ken Lund/Flickr Commons
Keep calm and eat ice cream We’re not sure why it is, but metro Detroit really likes ice cream. So much so that we’ve even made a round-up of all the area’s best custards, creams, and non-dairy treats, many of which are walk-up stands, which means socially distancing has never been more delicious. Do one better and treat yourself to your own ice cream tour — just remember to pack some Lactaid. Photo via Cold Truth/Facebook
Stroll with the spirits at Elmwood Cemetery 1200 Elmwood St., Detroit; 313-567-3453; elmwoodhistoriccemetary.org If you’re looking for a chilling experience on a hot summer day, look no further than Detroit’s historic Elmwood Cemetery. Erected in 1846, Elmwood Cemetery is one of the most beautiful places to contemplate death, existence, the afterlife, and whether Jeffery Epstein killed himself or not. Anyway, while it may seem morbid to choose the resting place of many notable Michiganders, it is also one of the area’s most breathtaking retreats from city craziness complete with winding, tree-lined pathways. Photo via Google Maps
Stay up late to catch a double feature at the Ford Wyoming Drive-in 10400 Ford Rd., Dearborn; 313-846-6910; forddrivein.com Long gone are the days of CGI big screen summer blockbusters, chilled leather seats that stick to your summer thighs, and smuggling in snacks and booze past the usher as if you have just stolen the Declaration of Independence. (Oh, like you haven’t shoved a couple of Taco Bell crunch wraps under your arms and crotched a bottle of wine to watch a larger-than-life Margot Robbie … literally do anything?) Well, thank bloody hell for metro Detroit’s drive-in theaters, which are saving us from our quarantine doldrums. You’ve got the classic option, Dearborn’s 70-year-old Ford-Wyoming Drive-in, which screens affordable double features all week long. There’s Macomb’s new-screen-on-the-block Canterbury Drive-in, too. Some indoor theatres are getting in on the fun, like Cinema Detroit, which hosts off-site screenings. Hamtramck’s Film Lab has also pivoted to hosting movies on the patio. So, crank up your car’s A/C and Bring Your Own Everything. Photo by Austin Evans Eighmey
Cruise the Huron River at Skip’s Huron River Canoe Liveries 4072 Nixon Ct., Ann Arbor; 734-769-8686; paddlethehuron.com No canoodling in the canoe, dammit! Well, we don’t actually know Skip’s Huron River Canoe Liveries stance on PDA while using their watercraft, but it sure sounds dangerous. What’s not dangerous is the cool and calm waters of the Huron River, which you can view via canoe, kayak, or tube. The full-service rental facility will cart your butt(s) to the start of the water trail and you can drift, float, or power through at your own pace. Due to social distancing, however, there are capacity limits for how many folks can hitch a ride with Skip’s and reservations are now required to secure a trip. Photo via Skip’s Huron River Canoe Liveries /Facebook
Take your workout outside Working out at home sucks. Or at least that’s our excuse. Because of you-know-who, many of our favorite yoga studios and fitness centers have been forced to take the calorie-burning, spirit-centering practices to the streets. And, let’s be real, it’s only a matter of time before we’re able to use cold weather as an excuse to not work out at all. Citizen Yoga, Detroit Body Garage, and Jabs Gym are among some of the centers offering outdoor classes, some of which are free. Photo via Jabs Gym/Facebook
Took engagement pictures on the DIA steps On any given weekend you can drive past the Detroit Institute of Arts and see a couple blissfully in love and posing on the infamous steps. Krystal Stinson / Detroit Stock City
Get your float on with Aloha Tiki Tours Sindbad’s Marina, 100 St. Clair St., Detroit; St. Clair Shores Public Dock, 24800 Jefferson Ave., St. Clair Shores; 586-980-1619;alohatikitours.com All aboard the crazy tiki boat? Last year, a fleet of tiki boats landed in metro Detroit and though it is a hefty $275-$300 per 2-hour tour for you and 6 of your guests, this is one way to socially distance from, well, just about everyone not on your tiki boat. The BYOB ride (yes, that means you have only 2 hours to go from full Margaritaville to responsible adult) comes in two options: Detroit River or St. Clair Shores. Photo by Noah Elliott Morrisson
Eat some essential metro Detroit barbecue You know you haven’t gotten laid during quarantine if the words “dry-rubbed and smoked low and slow” get you all hot and bothered. Well, keep your clothes on and grab a moist towelette (sorry), because metro Detroit is filled with essential barbecue joints, all of them doing god’s work: filling our stomachs with brisket, pulled pork, and, yes, burnt ends. Vegans, you’ll have to sit this one out. P.S. Our safe word is “rib tips.” Oh, shit, we almost forgot. Here’s a list of essential BBQ spots in case you want to eat your way through them all. Photo via A.B.’s Amazing Ribs/Facebook
Do all the things at Belle Isle 99 Pleasure Dr., Detroit; 313-821-9844; belleisleconservancy.org It’s no secret that Belle Isle is the closest thing us Detroiters have to a beach getaway and is the go-to spot when it’s hot and/or we are dreaming of social distancing with our besties over some White Claws. Though indoor attractions like the aquarium and conservatory remain closed because of you-know-who, the isle is like that bloody Coldplay song we get stuck in our damn heads every time someone says “paradise.” Just don’t get caught skinny dipping in the fountain. You’ve been warned. Photo via Hannah Ervin/Detroit Stock City
Visit the Cranbrook Gardens 380 Long Pine Rd., Bloomfield Hills; 248-645-3149; housegardens.cranbrook.edu Welcome to Hogwarts, er, we mean Cranbrook, a campus complete with indoor cultural facilities. (Art and science museums, anyone?) Its most magical offerings come via Cranbrook’s sunken garden, Japanese Garden, or Reflecting Pond. This shady (not, like, suspicious, but actual shade) and dreamy spot is the perfect place to cool off and, well, reflect on your useless and very expensive college degree. Photo via Cranbrook Center for Collections and Research/Facebook
Snag fresh produce at Eastern Market’s Saturday market 2934 Russell St., Detroit; 313-833-9300; easternmarket.org It’s not summer if you’re not getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to get caffeinated and day drunk to explore the fresh eats from the farmers and makers who perch up at Detroit’s historic Eastern Market. Nothing beats eating fresh berries, snagging some locally-grown veggies, and struggling to carry all the damn plants you insisted on buying that you will absolutely not manage to keep alive but man, it’s Saturday, it’s summer, and nothing can stop you. Except for, you know, being day drunk. Photo via DetroitStockCity.com/Hannah Ervin
Get a summery cocktail to go A lot of things suck right now — like, a lot of things. But the alcohol gods have bestowed upon us a gift: the to-go cocktail. That’s right, in Michigan, we can now get cocktails for carry-out. The legislation allows bars and restaurants to sell cocktails-to-go in sealed containers that can be consumed at home or in designated outdoor areas. This will help your favorite local spot weather the economic impact of the coronavirus, which has forced restaurants to close for months and now operate at a lower capacity. Check out our roundup of where to get your to-go drink on. So do your part and drink up, OK? Photo via PizzaPlex/Facebook
Get involved and protest injustice OK — so this shouldn’t be a bucket list item because it’s bigger than glamping, drinking on the beach, or riding a tiki boat. It’s about making real change and, though summer is coming to a close, it’s never too late to take to the streets and protest injustice suffered by marginalized communities, including those victims of police brutality, people of color, and LGBTQ+ individuals. While there are movements in cities all across the state, in Detroit the movement is led by Detroit Will Breathe, which has held a march every day for months. If marching is not your preferred protest language, which might be the case for those with disabilities, there are other ways to protest, like researching bail-out organizations, donating supplies to those folks who continue to march, or going out of your way to support Black-owned businesses, like these. Photo by Steve Neavling

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