Gone fishin'

I've been writing about television in one form or another since gas cost 93 cents a gallon and The Cosby Show was America's No. 1 hit. I have watched otherwise sane looking women attempt to beat each other to bloody pulps on national TV while a studio audience roared encouragement. I've looked on in horror while a bunch of smarmy, unlikable trash-talkers from New Jersey turned into international superstars. I've even seen pawnshops, smelly storage units and houses bulging with rotting garbage become the settings for successful cable series.

But now I can die a contented man, for I honestly can say that I've seen everything. 

Welcome to the wet, wacky, inexplicable world of Hillbilly Handfishin', premiering at 10 p.m. Sunday on Animal Planet, a channel that used to know better. There is not one iota of subterfuge in this title: In the murky waters of Oklahoma, self-proclaimed hillbillies Skipper Bivins and Trent Jackson guide tour groups of wide-eyed, thrill-seeking (or just plain crazy) big-city folk through the challenge of plunging headfirst below the surface and catching giant catfish using only their mitts. I suppose the show could have been called Hillbilly Hand-and-Footfishin', since apparently one often feels the location of the fish with their feet before making the dive to snatch it. Eeewww.

Did Jethro Bodine know about this? If he did, I'm certain we'd have heard about it on an episode of The Beverly Hillbillies decades ago. The practice sounds so absurd that you tend to think it was manufactured just for television, but apparently catching fish by hand is a skill that has been practiced for generations in the handful of states where it's legal. (Not including Michigan, thank goodness, where we are civilized enough to employ a rod and reel.) 

It's called "noodling," and you'd think somebody would have to be off their noodle to do it. But Sunday's opening episode suggests people seek out Bivins to get closer to nature, challenge themselves or just to attempt something light-years beyond their comfort zones. "It's a skill that's transferable to life," Bivins, who noodled his first fish at the age of 4, told the Huffington Post. "People are scared at first, but people like scary things. That's why they see scary movies. But once you get that adrenaline going, it can change your life."

The catfish can run as big as 70 pounds or more, and Bivins says the majority of first-time noodlers toss their catch back after the exhilaration of grabbing it. One might think this concept could get boring week after week, but I believe not: The participants — both human and animal — will change, as will the visitors' reasons for taking the challenge. Plus, there's something about the look of genuine fear in a person's eyes that can be irresistible to viewers. Remember Fear Factor? My guess is Hillbilly Handfishin' has the potential to become the equivalent of a catfish train wreck: You know what it's going to look like, and you know it'll be messy, but you just can't stop yourself from watching.

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