Duke Nukem: Forever
Windows, PS3, Xbox 360
Gearbox/2K Games

Duke Nukem: Forever is closely relatable to a copy of Winger's greatest hits (digitally remastered). How? Because it's a revisitation on a name, which, back in the day, was the shit for a moment. See, DN: Forever banks on reaching the old fan base (which it does, oh-so-much). And the first objective is to complete what may be the most unforgettable Duke mission ever. I don't wanna spoil it for those who haven't played it, but it involves a certain football stadium and a certain Cyclops hitting a field goal kicked with a certain eye.

Aside from the beautifully painful nostalgia, there are a few new tidbits of fun: For example, we can finally choose to drink from the water fountain, draw vulgarities on a board, and piss in a stadium bathroom stall as we please.

As a single-player game it flows nice and smooth, without as much of the puzzle-solving, key-card-finding nonsense from years past. Young ones experiencing Duke for the first time are sure to enjoy it. My fellow old-timers and fan boys will for sure get the most out of it.

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of ..." You know the rest.

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