John and Yoko launched classical composer John Tavener's career; his 1970 avant garde opus The Whale and 1971's heavily orchestrated (with children's choir!) Celtic Requiem are each in a two-on-one CD package here. The Modern Jazz Quartet did two oddly orchestrated but wonderfully bebopping albums, 1968's Under the Jasmine Tree and 1969's Space, for Apple, both housed in a one-disc package.

The box also includes an Apple best-of CD and a two-disc set of outtakes and bonuses, otherwise only available as MP3s. One glaring Apple release missing is the long-lost album by the strangely androgynous Lon and Derek Van Eaton, overlooked and forgotten. —Brian Smith

FRIGHT FROM THE BINS

The Osmonds
Around the World-Live In Concert (1975)

A 1975 double-live album, just like Kiss, ya say! I'm sure there was some fiery contention in Provo as to who the real hottest band in the land was! It's hard to imagine Ace Frehley and his firework-riddled guitar solo approaching the old fashioned virtuosity of "Merrill's Banjo Medley." No shit, the middle Osmond wins that ax battle — 'cause "doo dah" rhymes with Utah, you must concede!

Having to wait an entire minute for their idols to come onstage, the announcer (who sounds suspiciously like Joe Pesci) taunts the audience and makes them count down from 60! Mercifully, those Osmonds bum rush the show toot sweet to reclaim their glam-metal crown with "Crazy Horses," the song Aerosmith most assuredly ripped off for their equine-whinnyin' "Back In the Saddle" and which Aerosmith stealers Poison duly ripped off for their "Back to the Rocking Horse."

Unlike their imitators, the honest Osmonds are quick to acknowledge their own debts to rock's scream-worthy past. There's a "Donny & Marie Medley," filled with pre-Beatle teen idoltry, a "Jimmy Medley" where the littlest Osmond pays homage to Joe Cocker and the Jacksons, a "'50s Medley," a "Stevie Wonder Medley" — is there no music made by man or beast that these crafty Mormons cannot truncate into a four-minute smogasbord? Donald Osmond proves why he was the heir o' parent to Pat Boone — he even finds offensive words in Loggins and Messina songs to change. "My mama don't dance and my daddy don't rock and roll," he croons, because it's not nice to disparage other people's parents! And, uh, yeah, no mention about "hoppin' into the back seat where you know it's nice and dark," either. Never has one rock group thought less about fornication! —Serene Dominic

SCHOOLYARD VERSE

The Song that Wants to Come Alive
I am a song that dives in the water with sharks.
I am a song that keeps all its secrets.
I am a song that sings with no words.
I am a song that sees right through you.
I am a song that howls in the moonlight.
I am a song that runs on nothing but the color pink.
—Ja'la McClain, 6th Grade, InsideOut Literary Arts Project, Golightly Education Center

 

DOWNLOAD OF THE WEEK

Rogue Satellites — "Fashion, Drugs, Sex, Death ... Yes Yes Yes (live at the Belmont, Hamtramck)"

Rogue Satellites blazed through infectious ditty like some sort of robo-electro Pixies. It's all beat heavy under sugary harmonies, and some kind of sign their forthcoming album is gonna kick it. —Brett Callwood

> Email Metro Times music staff

comments powered by Disqus