Laura: Maybe because they were pissed that Accept and Helloween never got as big as Poison.

D'Anne: But America loves the Scorpions. That should count for something. "Winds of Change" brought down the Berlin Wall. Fact.

Laura: The ultimate goal of Rock of Ages though, seemed to be, "how many of America's favorite rock 'n' roll songs can be crammed into one musical?"

D'Anne: The answer is apparently "all of them." Minus any Def Leppard. They apparently couldn't get the rights.

Laura: So if you're hoping to see somebody get sugar poured on them in a live theatrical setting, you're gonna be disappointed.

D'Anne: True. But despite the cheesy, loosely cohesive plot, the show is a lot of fun. The folks on the U.S. tour cast are no slouches.

Laura: Not at all. In fact, from listening to the original cast recording (which I bought on a bitchin' leather studded flash drive cuff for the bargain price of $50 at the souvenir stand), I have to say that Rebecca Faulkenberry, who plays Sherrie on the U.S. tour cast, is way better than Emily Padgett, the original Broadway cast Sherrie.

D'Anne: Plus Faulkenberry looks a lot like Reese Witherspoon. So you can always pretend you're watching the Broadway version of Legally Blonde 3: Court of Metal.

Laura: Yup. And we know they'll make a musical out of anything these days. ...

Rock of Ages runs through Sunday, Nov. 21, at the Fisher Theatre, 3011 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit; 313-872-1000.

> Email D'Anne and Laura Witkowski