Name that 'tude
Is it mope-roid? Alpha-emo? Arena-angst?
Published: April 20, 2011
D'Anne: One of her slides said "When every problem is huge, nothing is worth solving." So true. As crazy huge as some of the world's problems are, if we didn't turn to reality TV for some respite, even more of us would be joining cults and black helicopter clubs.
Laura: Indeed. In fact, I like to think that our column plays a part in that. Like, there's one person out there who was able to skip their Xanax for the day because of our irreverent words.
D'Anne: And that person would be you.
Laura: Yeah, but still.
D'Anne: Ro Spit was the last musical act of the evening. By then people were good and drunk and ready for some rowdy rap.
Laura: He's not only a good rapper, but he's the guy who started the sneaker store Burn Rubber in Royal Oak.
D'Anne: Which is totally the place to go if you want your feet to have some personality.
Laura: During Ro Spit's last song, he repeatedly informed the audience of what sounds like a rather personal problem.
D'Anne: Yes. That haters keep swinging on his dick.
Laura: This admission raises a lot more questions than answers.
D'Anne: It does. For instance, why does this keep happening to him? How many haters are swinging on his dick at any given time? What kinds of dick swinging prevention methods is he currently employing? Where are the weaknesses in these dick swinging prevention methods? How do the haters keep getting through?
Laura: Exactly. I'm a little worried about him. I was too concerned to participate in the "dick swinging dance" that he was trying to teach the audience.
D'Anne: Not me. I'm kind of awesome at it now. I've been practicing. Pretty soon I'm gonna be big on YouTube. Look out, Pato.
> Email D'Anne and Laura Witkowski