The Lust Issue
Love & Lust make the world go round
A sampling from more than 1,000 reader comments on matters of the head, heart and other regions
Published: February 9, 2011
Just in time for Valentine's Day, welcome to our sixth annual Lust Issue and the fourth annual Live & Lust Poll. Over the years, you've told us about the delineations of love and lust, about your favorite songs to set the mood, the best sex in books and cinema, how you keep sex safe (or sometimes don't), love 'n' lust lessons you'd like to share, and more. This year we asked again — with mostly new questions — and another hundred-plus of you shared still more: details about intimate nooks and crannies of your lives we suspect you otherwise share only with intimate friends, therapists and (as a few exhibitionists admitted) websites where you act out for the world to see. The question we forgot to ask is what we should have asked. But you can send your ideas for Live and Lust Poll V to email@example.com.
Love, Lust & Lucre — Have the ups and downs of the economy affected your libido? Quality or quantity in your love life?
For the better
It's made my love life better! It makes me appreciate my mate and that fact that we don't need to go out on the town to have a great time! Date nights have become "go to bed early" nights — yum.
No, sometimes it's the only thing I can count on.
I've been having more sex to kill time.
No. Fuck that. If anything, the economy gives me and my boy an excuse to stay in and have romantic nights at home together more often.
For the worse
My boyfriend has a super crappy $10 per hour job which leaves me, and my really good job, responsible for all of the bills and rent. He is 46 and calls his mom for money. This has put a damper on anything relating to sex, as I have zero respect for him and I no longer view him as a man.
Yes — the cost of a BJ has risen sufficiently. I do not share the same enthusiasm.
Yes. Lost my house and had to move back to mom's. Talk about a damper on a heathy sex life!
No, I'm single and regardless of the economy I'm almost always in the mood to have sex.
Windfalls and prosperity can be fun, turning things up a bit ... but being in a slump has no affect on my boogie. It's all you've got sometimes.
Mysteries of Eros — Are there some things about love and lust you're still trying to figure out? If the Greek god Eros offered to answer one question, what would yours be?
I'm almost 50 and have the drive of an 18-year-old. Is that normal? —Mr. Happy, straight, 48 years, 5 lifetime partners
Why did lust begin to rule over love in this world? —Minky, bisexual, 48 years, 40 partners
Why can't the sexy, lusty, spark laaaaast? Why does it have to fade? —ShawnaPurrrr, 41 years, 100-plus lifetime partners
I'm actually taking a human sexuality course this semester, so I'm sure all of my questions will be answered there. —Lucy, bisexual, 21 years, 3 partners
How do you get your wife to take it in the back door? —Male, straight, 58 years, 5 partners
Why is it so different for men and women? Why is it just sex for men and love and sex for most women? —Beatrice, bisexual, 28 years, 26 partners
Is society ever going to reach a point where girls can finally act like they want to get laid without being sneered at? I'm so sick of having to act innocent and bored to get guys into bed! It's no fun! —S'il Vous Plaît, straight, 24 years, 19 partners
I want to learn all I can! I would ask Eros exactly how to squirt. As in "show me." —sexpot, bisexual, 34 years, 10 partners
Why can't I just fit my whole body in her hoo-hah? —Bobo Brasierre, straight, 39 years, 15 partners
Why is it that when someone has an excellent relationship with the perfect mate, they are willing to risk losing it all for a one-night stand with a piece of no-good trash? —Agent 005, straight, 58 years, 10 partners
Yes. Why didn't you teach me about intense multiple orgasms when I was younger? —onewoman, straight, 41 years, 12 partners
Why don't I get wet when I get turned on!? —Janet, straight, 21 years, 5 partners
As a man in my 30s, I am still trying to figure out how I can't turn a woman on when I want to but it seems effortless sometimes when I least expect it. —Wonger, straight, 33 years, 18 partners
Why do I come so fast? It sucks! I do my best to get her off regardless of what happens to me, but it just isn't the same. —Raymond, straight, 24 years, 1 partner
For AAA Romance — What's your favorite sex toy and why? How do you introduce your toys to a new partner for the first time? Or do you only play with toys alone? Or not at all?
I used to be a representative for an adult toy home party company, so I had to actually own one of everything. When I stopped doing the parties, I was left with all kinds of goodies! I was always very liberated in the bedroom, and thought nothing about whipping out whichever prop I was in the mood for. I frightened a few wuss guys off that way, but those were the ones I wouldn't want in my bed anyway!! —ShawnaPurrrr, straight, 41 years, 100-plus partners
My bullet, life would be dull without it. LOL. First time, I have to explain to them my difficulty with orgasm, which usually does not happen right away. —Female, bisexual, 30 years, 30-plus partners
My favorite is my new Lelo vibrator from Paris Intimates. However, when I am with partners (as I usually am), I really love my violet wand electrostimulation device! It has an attachment that makes my body into the conductor, which allows for electrifying oral sex!! —Lady Pain, bisexual, 35 years, haha partners
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