DRUG OF CHOICE: Whatever they're doing in Berlin ...

Cops, Wanderers & Squares

PROFILE: Uniform cops smile and undercover cops show no emotion, so if you see some dude in ill-fitting jean shorts, a buzz cut and shades that people who own speedboats wear, he's a cop. And thus can get you the best drugs in town. Not to be confused with undercover coppers, those stray, creepy-looking and middle-aged guys wandering about. Maybe they're looking for their daughters, who've run away with some kandi clique, or maybe they just like to see people sweat, but either way they stick out like a sore on a hot chick's lip. Some have mullets, others have fanny packs, but none look like they're ready to let loose to a Derrick May set.

HAILING FROM: Air-conditioned living rooms and golf-themed cubicles

THERE TO: Still trying to figure this one out.

ATTIRE: See your dad.

DRUG OF CHOICE: Twelve hours away from the wife?

Travis R. Wright is arts and culture editor of Metro Times. Send comments to twright@metrotimes.com.

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