Please kill me if you've heard this rhetorical question before: But is hard concrete raving at five stages, a mad-rad marketplace featuring local and international specialty vendors, a Noguchi-designed fountain to splash in and the sensation of cool Detroit riverfront breezes to feel against your hot skin after hours of dancing not enough for you? Of course not. You want more. You deserve more. And you always get more during Movement weekend, when independent promoters keep the disco ball spinning round the clock with offsite parties from Thursday until early Tuesday.

That's five — count 'em: five — days of both-feet-on-the-pedal mirth.

Newcomers to this 100,000-strong flash mob of slithering kids and undulating mongoloids will likely be amazed at the microscopic sophistication of the choices. Detroit party lifers will inevitably say that it ain't what it used to back in the day (what day exactly is up to question) and they'll probably be right for all the wrong reasons.

But, hey, who are we to tell the hardcore anything? They don't listen. Let's just leave all the snooty Tuesday morning quarterbacking to us hyped-up and underpaid critical thinkers, you just go out there and have a safe, sweaty weekend wherever you go. Tip! Just clip out this list, check out some of these events and you'll have a lot more zany fun.

THURSDAY, MAY 26

Detroit Threads annual in-store retail rave

Mikel Smith loves to invite inspired talent to this yearly off-site weekender. A UK radio DJ broadcasts from the everything-techno emporium and a special memorial event is planned by members of W.A.R.M.T.H., the international collective begun by the late Aaron-Carl. The weekend starts tonight when nospectacle presents a night of notechno with special guests. One special guest you can expect is Regensburg's sublime Markus Guentner. It begins at 4 p.m. and soars until 8:30 p.m. at 10238 Jos. Campau, Hamtramck.

FRIDAY, MAY 27

Bang Tech 12 15-year Anniversary

Another annual free bash that starts in the mid-afternoon and goes until the reasonable hour of 2 a.m. There's a wild list of massive talent that includes Minx, N-ter, Blackjack, MC Bombscare, Dilemma, and DJs Psycho and Seoul and T. Linder of the Detroit Techno Militia, just back after a mini-tour of European hotspots. At Bookies Bar & Grill (three rooms with rooftop deck) at 2208 Cass Ave., Detroit; starts at 3 p.m.

Radio Skool

Greektown swings the night before opening day with Stacey Pullen, Radio Slave, Catz n Dogz feat. Paul Randolph, Luca Bacchetti, Rooz, Daniel Andres and Jeffrey Felch at Exodus Lounge, 525 Monroe St. It goes from 3 p.m. to 2 a.m.

Smart Bar and TV Lounge Festival Kickoff and BBQ

A nice lineup with food is hard to pass up. Check out Akufen, Arthur Oskan, Luke Hess, Brian Kage, Aran Daniels, Patrick Russell, Sassmouth, Punisher and more. Starts at 6 p.m. and goes until 4 a.m. at TV Bar, 2548 Grand River Ave., Detroit.

Movement 2011 Opening Party

Paxahau throws its official pre-party with London dubstep ace Rusko and L.A.-based mash-up pioneer Z-Trip. At the State Bar in the Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit. This all ages event starts at 6:30 p.m. and ends at midnight.

SATURDAY, MAY 28

I Love You But I've Chosen Techno

Three rooms and a patio made for living life loud from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. Circle this one, which features the delightfully eccentric Robag Wruhme, with Maceo Plex, Catz n Dogz, Nikola Baytala, Elora (a new project from Michelle Hermann aka Punisher) and about a dozen others. At the Works, 1846 Michigan Ave., in Detroit's Corktown.

The Nightsneak Party

Bert's Warehouse in Eastern Market goes beat crazy with techno heavyweight Dave Clarke, fellow Brit drum 'n' bass legend Roni Size, Umek from Slovenia, DJ Godfather, and DJ Seoul and T. Linder of Detroit Techno Militia and more. At 2739 Russell St., Detroit; 10 p.m. until late.

Mobilee Records Showcase

One of Berlin's most consistently innovative minimal imprints presents its first-ever Detroit party featuring label boss Anja Schneider, Sebo K, Pan-Pot, Dan Curtin, Jason Patrick, Mike Khoury and Mossmoss. At Premium Resto Lounge, 1431 Times Square, downtown Detroit. The party swings from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.

Deep Detroit

The official clone of the legendary Music Institute, 1515 Broadway, is host to prime-time house players Kai Alce, Omar S & Brett Dancer. Rare funk grooves began pumping 10 p.m. until late into the early morning.

CLR Detroit

An official festival afterparty presented by new media force Resident Advisor stars Collabs (Chris Liebing and Speedy J), Marcel Dettmann, Radio Slave, Drumcell and more to be announced. Sounds hard, man, just the way we like it. Elysium Lounge, 625 Shelby St., downtown Detroit. Starts at 10 p.m. and keeps jumping until 5 a.m.

Circo Loco

TV Bar is the setting for a crazy-good lineup headed by Cassy, Seth Troxler, Lee Curtiss, Ryan Crosson, Shaun Reeves, Jamie Jones, Mike Clark, Norm Talley, Keith Worthy, Stacey Pullen and lots more. Lovely stuff. 2548 Grand River Ave., Detroit. Starts at 10 p.m. until whenever. ...

SUNDAY, MAY 29

I'm on a Boat

This year's cruise on the Detroit Princess features Sven Vath, Loco Dice, the extremely busy Stacey Pullen, Dr. Atmo, Ricardo, and Matthew Hawtin. The floating party boards at 11 p.m and leaves the dock near Hart Plaza at 1 a.m. 201 Civic Center Dr., Detroit.

> Email Walter Wasacz