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  • Metro Times seeking stories of college sexual assault

    The Metro Times is looking to hear your experiences will sexual assault on a Michigan college campus — from anything to how many sexual assault prevention programs, rape kits or crisis centers you may have had access to, to how the administration or local law enforcement handled your experience. If you, or anyone you know might be interested in talking to a reporter at the Metro Times, please email us at college@metrotimes.com.

    The post Metro Times seeking stories of college sexual assault appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Get ready for National Tequila Day!

    Thursday, July 24th marks National Tequila Day, and forget everything you know about the beverage. Those nasty old “tequilas” of yesterday were find for doing body shots, but tequila has become something of a luxury spirit while few were paying attention. Have you tried all the varieties of tequila? Can you tell the difference between blanco, joven, reposed, añejo and extra añejo?  If your local bar doesn’t have the stuff that will help you celebrate this important holiday, there are several bars that cater just to the tequila fan. There’s Aqua Rum and Tequila Bar in the MGM Grand Detroit Casino in Detroit, as well as Rojo Mexican Bistro in Novi, which offers more than 100 kinds of tequila, and Taqo Detroit, a new spot serving American-friendly Mexican fare and serving an astonishing variety of tequilas, more than 200 in all. Been waiting for a reason to drink up this south-of-the-border nectar? You got it. Guzzle responsibly.    

    The post Get ready for National Tequila Day! appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • DWSD to host water fair in wake of 15 day moratorium on Detroit water shutoffs

    In light of worldwide attention on its efforts to cut water service for thousands of Detroit residents, the Detroit Water & Sewerage Department said today it would host a Water Affordability Fair on August 2nd to explain options available to those facing financial hardship. DWSD officials said in a news release today the fair will be take place from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the department’s Eastside Customer Service Center at 13303 E. McNichols. The move came on the heels of growing pressure from opponents of the initiative and criticism from the U.S. bankruptcy judge overseeing Detroit’s Chapter 9 case. “Every customer that has come to DWSD with a legitimate financial hardship has not had their water service terminated,” said Darryl Latimer, DWSD deputy director, in a statement. “In cases where the water has been shut off, it’s been restored. We keep hearing at DWSD that there are poor people who are not receiving the assistance that they need, so we want to help them and we want to make it as easy as possible for the to receive that help. That’s why we created the Water Affordability Fair – ease of access and ease of assistance. We are here to […]

    The post DWSD to host water fair in wake of 15 day moratorium on Detroit water shutoffs appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Thrillist Names Detroit’s Motz’s Burgers Among Best in Nation

    The folks at Thrillist have again compiled their annual list of the nation’s best burgers, and Southeast Michigan, it seems, is well represented. Ranking alongside joints in major cities such as New York and L.A., is Detroit’s own Motz’s Burgers, hailed specifically for its Double Cheeseburger Slider. Via Thrillist: There’s nothing remarkable about the façade of this SW diner… it’s just a diner, like the hundreds of others in the D. The staff’s been there for years… and so have the regulars, who can’t get enough of Motz’s legendary smashed burgers. The formula’s nothing revolutionary: smashed, griddled patties with oozy cheese and onions that melt into the burger itself as it cooks. But it’s that unmistakable flavor of a well-seasoned griddle — which has also been here for years — that makes the difference. You can score big burgers with accoutrements, but this isn’t really a place to say things like “accoutrements”. Grab the old-school slider (the double cheeseburger one), and prepare for three perfect bites of Detroit’s finest. Flint’s Torch Bar and Grill also made the cut, most notably for its Deluxe Torch Burger with Bacon. Tucked away in an alley beyond the brick streets that used to mark […]

    The post Thrillist Names Detroit’s Motz’s Burgers Among Best in Nation appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • In what weird ways are you paying for school? MT wants to know!

    The Metro Times is looking for college students or graduates of Michigan colleges that used atypical means to pay for their schooling (i.e. sugar baby, selling underwear, military enrollment purely for school help, etc.). We are looking for personal anecdotes about the lengths you went to help pay for school, what came of it, your monetary situation, if the resource worked to get you through college and more. If you have utilized any one of these avenues, or know someone who has, please drop us a line at college@metrotimes.com.

    The post In what weird ways are you paying for school? MT wants to know! appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Kid Rock ordered to produce dildo in ICP sexual harassment lawsuit

    File under “WTF” — attorneys representing former Psychopathic Records publicist Andrea Pellegrini announced Monday that they have subpoenaed Kid Rock to produce a glass dildo as part of Pellegrini’s sexual harassment lawsuit against the Insane Clown Posse’s record label. Pellegrini claims the glass dildo was given to her by Psychopathic Records employee “Dirty Dan” Diamond as part of a larger culture of constant harassment in which she was called “bitch,” made the target of explicit sexual advances by Diamond and other co-workers, asked to procure automatic weapons for a photo shoot, and even encouraged to “deceive government investigators from the US Department of Labor.” On Friday, Diamond admitted under oath that he told Pellegrini that he had “a fat cock” and that he would “fuck the shit out of her.” The dildo, though, was “a work of art,” according to Diamond, and should not be considered sexual harassment. Why is Kid Rock involved? Diamond says when Pellegrini declined his dildo, he gave it to Kid Rock instead (presumably as a “work of art” and not a sexual advance). So now, according to court orders, Rock has 14 days to produce the glass dildo so the court can better determine if it is art or, well, a dildo. We will […]

    The post Kid Rock ordered to produce dildo in ICP sexual harassment lawsuit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Double-crossed

How to deal when your 'friend' posts cross-dressing pics of you on Facebook

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Q: A friend of mine on the opposite coast is a crossdresser considering transitioning. He came out to a female friend he had known for a long time but hadn’t seen in a while, and she told her that she wanted her to come to her house fully dressed for some hot sex to “explore her bi-curiosity” or some shit. I told her to go for it, saying gender-transgression play is potentially hot. I neglected to mention that she should only go for it if she trusted this girl (hereafter known as “Evil Bitch”). Evil Bitch backed out as soon as she arrived, but took her out to dinner (still fully dressed) as consolation. When she first told me this, I thought, “Oh well, Evil Bitch got cold feet, that sucks.” Now my friend is telling me that Evil Bitch messaged a bunch of mutual friends he wasn’t out to, outing my friend to them. After my friend told Evil Bitch that what went down between them was private, Evil Bitch just responded with “LOL k,” and then posted pictures from their dinner date — fully dressed — on her Facebook. I told my friend to call Evil Bitch up and tell her what a violation of privacy and betrayal of trust that was. She just called him a faggot and hung up. I feel bad because I encouraged her to go for it. Is there anything my friend can do? She’s freaking out and thinks that Evil Bitch ruined her life. —Friend Of Crossdresser Betrayed By Evil Bitch

 

A: Your pronouns are all over the place, FOCBBEB. Your friend is a she, then a he, then a she, then a he. So I’m gonna stick with “Your Friend,” despite how clunky it makes my response, because I can’t tell how Your Friend identifies.

Twenty years ago, Your Friend could’ve told Your Friend’s relatives and whatever friends Your Friend had in common with Evil Bitch that they got dressed up for a laugh and Your Friend can’t for the life of Your Friend understand why Evil Bitch is misrepresenting what they did that night. But I can only assume that Your Friend and Evil Bitch exchanged e-mails, swapped texts, sent DMs via Twitter, etc., so Your Friend shouldn’t accuse Evil Bitch of lying. That will prompt Evil Bitch to retaliate by posting e-mails, texts and DMs to Facebook, which will only make things worse for Your Friend.

Since Your Friend can’t turn this around on Evil Bitch — and since calling Evil Bitch a liar will only make things worse for Your Friend — there’s no way for Your Friend to nip this situation in the bud. Your Friend can only get out in front of it. Your Friend is out about the crossdressing now, at least, and Your Friend should embrace being out with as much good grace and courage as Your Friend can muster. And paradoxically, FOCBBEB, the more at peace with being out Your Friend appears to be, the fewer people Your Friend will be outed to. If Your Friend tries to keep this quiet, other malicious assholes will realize they can hurt Your Friend by spreading the news. If Your Friend acts like Your Friend couldn’t care less who knows, malicious assholes will be less likely to spread it around.

I’ve known a few people who were outed by malicious shits like Evil Bitch — outed as gay or kinky or swingers or poly or all of the above — and it sucks and it hurts and, yes, it can turn a person’s life upside down. But most of the people I’ve known who were outed looked back on the experience a year or two later with … well … not with gratitude, but they woke up one day happy to be free of the stress of keeping their big secret. Maybe Your Friend will feel the same way, and Your Friend will have Evil Bitch to thank.

In the meantime, FOCBBEB, offer Your Friend your support and get in the face of anyone who gives Your Friend any grief.

 

Q: I just read your column about evangelical girls “saddlebacking” (having anal sex in order to preserve their virginities). I am a 21-year-old and have been sexually active since age 14. I engage in oral and anal sex. I have never had vaginal intercourse, so technically I am still a virgin. My reason for doing this has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with avoiding pregnancy. And, yes, I think it would be nice to give the man I marry a rare gift on our wedding night. And with my experiences over the past seven years, I believe I will be able to keep my future husband fulfilled and quite happy in the bedroom. —No Name

 

A: Anal is a highly effective birth-control method, and there’s only one known case of someone getting pregnant through oral sex. (Google around and you’ll find it pretty quick.) But anal intercourse is also the most effective means of HIV transmission — 18 times more effective than vaginal intercourse — so I hope you’re using condoms, regardless. And one quibble: If technically you’re still a virgin, NN, then technically my husband is still a virgin, too. Yeah … no. My husband isn’t a virgin, technically or otherwise, and neither are you, NN. Your vagina might be a virgin, sure, but you’re not.

 

Pauline “Dear Abby” Phillips: I grew up reading both Eppie “Ann Landers” Lederer in the Chicago Sun-Times and Pauline “Dear Abby” Phillips in the Chicago Tribune. I always preferred Ann’s column to Abby’s column — did you know they were twin sisters? — and I’m actually sitting at Ann’s desk, which I bought at auction after her death, as I write this. So you could definitely call me more of an Ann fan. But I have a newfound appreciation for Abby after reading Margalit Fox’s terrific obit in the New York Times (read it here: tinyurl.com/abbyobit). The obit ends with the most famous three-word response in the whole sordid history of the advice-column racket:

 

Dear Abby: Two men who claim to be father and adopted son just bought an old mansion across the street and fixed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and going at all hours — blacks, whites, Orientals, women who look like men, and men who look like women. This has always been considered one of the finest sections of San Francisco, and these weirdos are giving it a bad name. How can we improve the neighborhood? —Nob Hill Residents

 

Dear Residents: You could move.

 

Phillips wrote that decades ago — back when adult gay men often resorted to adopting their adult partners because it was the only way to secure any legal protection for their relationships — and people are still quoting it today. I don’t think anyone working in this genre will ever top it. My sympathies to Jeanne Phillips, Pauline’s daughter and the current author of the Dear Abby column.

 

Queer readers: Help advance psychosocial research and do your part to include the LGB community in research while examining critical questions about the effect of rejection in the lives of LGB people. Adults (18-49) of all sexual orientations are needed for an important study on the relationship between sexual orientation, rejection, and the attachment system. See surveymonkey.com/s/attachmentandalienation to learn more and to participate in the study. Thanks.

 

FindDan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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