If you would’ve told us that we would’ve spent most of 2020 — and, as it’s shaping up, most of 2021 — alone, at home, in bed, with one hand in our pants and the other in a Dorito bag, we would have said “we’re more of a Takis Fuego family,” but yeah. We sure have done a whole lot of masturbating the last year, and it's made us realize how much we miss intimate touch, but also just how normal regular masturbation has become. Long gone is the stigma attached to being single and also horny, and for those with significant others in their pandemic pods, it’s fun to incorporate toys, tools, and other surprises into the bedroom, because sometimes you need to boost sexy time into high gear after applying acne cream, binging The Office while eating day three of microwaveable dinners. No shame, but also, no game. 

While it remains safest to stay home, stay masked, and stay at least six feet away from anyone not in your household, there isn’t a damn thing that says we need to stay away from ourselves, which is why this list of must-have pandemic sex toys might just keep us satisfied until it’s safe again to pursue the real thing. In the meantime, vaccinate us, daddy.