100 Things All Detroiters Should Do Before They Die

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47) Stroll, jog or bike down the Dequindre Cut: Between Gratiot Avenue and the Detroit River, an old, below-grade railbed has been turned into a trail of sorts, where joggers and cyclists puff past greenery and walls covered with colorful graffiti works. On a sunny day, once you descend into the cut, the city seems just a little farther away, a little of the country right by downtown.

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48) Hit the Bloody Mary bar at the Bronx Bar: A former old-man bar, the Bronx is now anything but. It seems a new pack of 21-year-olds comes into the university-area bar every September. But on a lazy Sunday, drinkers can get a generous pint glass half-full of ice and vodka, then build their perfect Bloody Mary. Have one and you’ll want another, by which time you’ll need a restoring sandwich from the Bronx’s ample grill. Repeat as necessary.

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49) See how many paczki you can eat on Fat Tuesday in Hamtramck: Some of our readers complain that “Paczki (POONCH-key) Day” is a contrived event, a reason to sell more jelly donuts every year. But as far as contrived events go, this is one hell of a contrived event, with huge tents, edgy polka bands, and paczki everywhere. It’s also a great excuse to watch loaded folks in the middle of a day-drinking spree spill in and out of Hamtramck’s bars.

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50) Try chicken and waffles at New Center Eatery: Perhaps you’ve heard of this delicacy? Those in the know seem to agree that New Center Eatery offers the very best chicken and waffles in Detroit. Have some. The next time somebody mentions it you’ll be able to argue its merits.

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51) See ICP at Hallowicked in Juggalo gear: Break out the Faygo and face paint for a night like no other. Outside the annual ICP Gathering, this is the biggest event for “the family” in the year. Witness two hometown fellas who built not just an entertainment empire but a fringe identity embraced by thousands across the world. And now they’re fighting the FBI? Woop woop!

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53) See a hair metal show at Harpos and people-watch: This unusual venue is almost as tough as the east side neighborhood it abuts. For a generation, Harpos has hosted hard rock shows on its stage, and even the occasional punk band. These days, it’s mostly a headbanger’s paradise. But in an amusing bit of unintended irony, the hall’s colored and lighted 1970s disco floor is still intact.

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54) Browse the art fairs in Ann Arbor: Commonly known as the Art Fair, the event’s official title is actually the Ann Arbor Art Fairs, and consists of four independently juried art fairs, taking place simultaneously and contiguously throughout downtown Ann Arbor. Which means that you’re sure to find just the right bit of flair to dress up your pad.

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55) See more cars (but these ones are old) at the Woodward Dream Cruise: Some locals will tell you that the Dream Cruise is the bane of their existence, clogging up their neighborhoods and holding up traffic for hours. But, you know, bah humbug and all that. Fans set up their folding chairs and sit for hours as hot rod after custom car comes rolling by. If you like classic cars, it really is quite impressive, drawing in gearheads from all over the Midwest. But if you’d rather people-watch, you still came to the right place.

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56) Play tic-tac-toe with a chicken at Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum: You can be forgiven for suffering sensory overload when setting foot in Marvin’s place, in Farmington Hills. There are lights, buzzers and bleeps coming from all directions in what can best be described as a carnival-like collection of electric and electronic games and exhibits. Turn left and you can play Family Guy pinball, do a 180 and you can play tic-tac-toe with a chicken. Chuck in a quarter, and it’ll tic with its beak before inviting you to tac. Then you can buy the postcard announcing what you just did.

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57) View an ofrenda at Detroit’s day of the dead: Celebrate the Mexican tradition of ofrenda altars by visiting southwest Detroit on Day of the Dead. Traditionally decorated with ornate sugar skulls, flowers and favorite foods, mementos and pictures of the deceased, contemporary ofrendas are created as a way to pay homage to not only people but also places, moments in time, ideas and events that people feel are worth commemorating. Popular art at its purest.

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58) Have an authentic taco al pastor in Mexicantown: Actually, you can have whatever you want in Mexicantown, but the al pastor, a taco of marinated pork, is something of a specialty for plenty of restaurants, including Taqueria Lupita, Taqueria Nuestra Familia, Los Altos and more, and these little babies usually cost $1.25 at most. To be really authentic, leave cheese out of it and crush a lime over the chopped white onions before crushing that thing.

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59) Check out some sweet cribs in Indian Village: One of Detroit’s most historically affluent neighborhoods, Indian Village is home to some awesome mansions built by architects like Albert Kahn and Louis Kamper. Catch one of the community’s annual Home and Garden Tours for a peek inside some of these gorgeous homes.

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32) See more Detroit bands than you can possibly imagine at Blowout: Yeah, it’s self-serving of us, but the Blowout has ballooned from a grungy little music festival dreamed up by our music editor into a sprawling event some say is the largest local music festival in the country. Far be it from us to snub that. The locations have expanded and the rules have changed a bit, but it’s the wealth of local bands slugging it out in metro Detroit basements that gives the show its heart.

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52) Visit the abandoned Grande Ballroom before they knock it down: Though fans of the former ’60s rock venue would like to save it, things look grim for the Grande. In its heyday, under the leadership of radio DJ and promoter Russ Gibb, the stage was ground zero for rock ’n’ roll hippie culture. Now silent, it’s just another building along a fading section of Grand River Avenue, worth a look, a photo and maybe a dream.

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74) See Woodward transformed into a holiday wonderland on Noel Night: It’s so cold in the D, but the first week in December, Detroit is transformed into a veritable winter wonderland with the annual Noel Night. It’s a great opportunity to get some gift shopping done, plus you can catch Christmas carolers, ice sculptors, horse-drawn carriages and more.

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88) Take a carnivore to Inn Season Café and prove that vegetarian food is more than porridge: Inn Season is a frequent winner of Metro Times’ Best Vegetarian honors and a pioneering institution that dates back to 1981. The staff works hard to ensure diners are eating seasonal ingredients picked at the peak of freshness, and that the meals are season-appropriate, especially their specials, which ingeniously use whatever the bounty of the week is. And these are real meals that feel just comforting to meat-eaters and veg-heads alike. Prove those doubters wrong.

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1) See Detroit as it used to look at Elmwood cemetery: As cemeteries go, Elmwood is a beauty. One of the oldest continuously operating businesses in Michigan, Elmwood has been packing them in since 1846. It’s the final home to mayors, moguls and many more first citizens of Detroit, as the eminent names on the markers and tombs attest. But it’s also one of the few places in Detroit where you can see the land as it was before the age of the steam shovel. Although it did get a treatment from landscape architect Frederick Law Olmsted, the low rolling hills and even a segment of Bloody Run Creek flowing through are original features dating from time immemorial.

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12) Visit the Burton Collection at the Detroit Public Library’s main branch: The Detroit landmark designed by not just one, but two Cass Gilberts (senior and junior) is a great place to do some research. But the Burton Collection, with its statue-studded, open two-story room, is the best place for genealogical research. It’s also most beautiful in the spring, when the trees on the lawn are in blossom on a misty morning, as seen through floor-to-ceiling windows. Who says bookworms don’t get out enough?

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34) Walk butt-to-nut in Royal Oak during Arts Beats & Eats: “Well-attended” simply doesn’t do justice to Arts Beats & Eats — it seems everybody in the tri-county area shoehorns themselves into downtown Royal Oak, joined in a joyous, if jammed, celebration of art, music and food. Join them and make it that much more crowded.

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14) See Detroit Industry at the DIA: If you haven’t seen it yet, what are you waiting for? Diego Rivera’s controversial mural depicts workers at Henry Ford’s Rouge Complex, with workers toiling over the assembly line, amid machines that look sort of like Toltec and Aztec deities. The murals have been reviled, praised, attacked and defended, but never ignored. Every Detroiter should spend at least a few minutes looking at this monument to the workers and technicians of the Motor City.

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