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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Working out the kinks

A foot fetishist and more

Q:

 I'm a 23-year-old male who has never been in a relationship. I have had many crushes but never the courage to go ask anyone out. I dread rejection. Compounding this problem: I might be bisexual. I'm afraid to reveal this to anyone. Some girls might be OK with it at first, but they are likely to leave me later for fear that I could actually be gay — and those are the girls who would even consider dating a bisexual guy in the first place.

I've wasted 23 years of my life because of my fear of being rejected — by everyone, including my conservative family. Any advice? —Hopefully Not Hopeless


A:

 Buck up, HNH.

Most people don't start dating until their late teens, HNH, so you haven't wasted 23 years. You've wasted five or six years — eight on the outside. And your "wasted years" weren't entirely wasted, were they? Presumably you were doing something more than pining away and jerking it between 15 and 23 — you were getting an education, seeing a movie now and then, having a decent meal once in a while, etc.

Overcoming your paralyzing fear of rejection is something for which you may need the help of a therapist and a pharmacist. But you don't have to be on meds to hear this: Rejection is a big and necessary part of romance. Getting a "yes" from someone we asked out, asked to peg us, asked to marry us, etc., wouldn't be meaningful if we got a "yes" from everyone we proposed marriage or pegging to, right?

As for your bisexuality...

Men — gay, straight, bi — tend to be huge sluts. So if you want to get a little experience, check your same-sex fantasies against same-sex realities, and make your first moves on people who are less likely to reject you, then you should hit on some horny, hard-up gay or bi dudes.

You should also head to bisexual websites and online forums for insight, advice, and support. A good place to start is binetusa.org. There are lots of bi folks out there who've come out to their conservative families, who've overcome their fear of being rejected for being bi, and who know that bisexuality is something that can — if a person is open about it — attract the right kinds of partners, i.e., partners who view bisexuality as a plus. Talking with other bi folks will help.

And finally, HNH, bisexual guys don't have to settle for straight girls who don't understand or gay dudes who can't deal. There's no law against bisexuals dating other bisexuals. (If another bisexual should dump you, however, you can't blame your ex's biphobia.) And your big reveal — "I'm bisexual" — should you find yourself dating a straight girl? It could be worse ...


Q:

 In a couple of weeks I will be following your advice and disclosing the full scope of my sexuality to my girlfriend.

I am a 32-year-old male. We have been dating for two years. This is the happiest I have ever been in a relationship. I want to marry her. She knows that I have a pantyhose fetish and she wears nylons for me whenever I ask. She doesn't know that I also love to wear pantyhose, and that when I do I have intense homoerotic fantasies. She doesn't know that I also have a foot fetish and a cocksucking fetish, both directly associated with the pantyhose fetish.

I intend to tell her everything. But how do I start? —Bi Pantyhose Guy


A:

 If you had followed my advice, BPG, your girlfriend would already know about your pantyhose/foot/cock fetishes. Your kinks aren't first-date conversation topics — no one's kinks are — but a woman has a right to know about kinks like yours, BPG, before she's invested two years in a relationship with you.

Start the conversation like this, BPG: "Honey, I'm a much kinkier boy than I've led you to believe." Be upbeat, kink-positive, and unapologetic — well, unapologetic about your kinks. You should be somewhat apologetic about waiting two long years to lay all your kink cards on the table.

You should also avoid the phrase "cock fetishist" during this conversation, BPG. If you only have homoerotic fantasies during your solo pantyhose masturbate-a-thons, you may be less into sucking cock and more into what sucking cock symbolizes during those pantyhose-charged moments: A dick in your mouth brings your feminization to a climax, er, crescendo, completing your transformation from straight or straight-identified guy to crossdressed, cock-hungry slut. For many men like you, BPG, a dick is a talismanic toy, not an identity-altering taste.

But if you say "cock fetish," your girlfriend is likely to hear "closeted cock-hungry fag." Better to tell her that when you're wearing pantyhose, you get into fantasy role-play scenarios in which you assume the feminine role. She may not be ready to see you with a man — not right now, maybe not ever — but she could be up for seeing you on your knees, in pantyhose, sucking on the dildo she strapped on for your talismanic pleasure.


Q:

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