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Savage Love

When you're busted

Man loves having his balls stomped on — but only by dudes

By Dan Savage

Published: May 2, 2012

Fedoroff isn't the only doctor out there medicating kinksters. In his absolutely terrific book The Other Side of Desire (which is where I first ran across that John Money quote), journalist Daniel Bergner profiles a foot fetishist so paralyzed by shame that he seeks treatment from a shrink who prescribes him a drug that "cures" him. The drug? The "lust-obliterating" Lupron, an anti-androgen that is sometimes used to "chemically castrate" sex offenders.

Now, I'm generally a fan of Western medicine — prescription drugs, invasive procedures, hospital cafeteria Jell-O — but I think taking SSRIs or chemically castrating yourself to suppress an urge to get kicked in the balls six times a year ... well, BSTD, that's even more extreme than your kink. You would be better advised, in my opinion, to accept both your kink and your contradictions. Yes, BSTD, your kink will probably shock even women who have a few kinks of their own. But if you present your kink to your girlfriends as just one fun, crazy, weird, hard-to-explain-but-endearingly-quirky aspect of your sexual expression, BSTD, they're likelier to react to it positively. And if you look for women in the fetish and BDSM scene — where straight men are sometimes known to engage in S/M play with each other — your chances are better of finding an open-minded woman who isn't threatened by your kinks.

You might find a woman who wants to watch.

Finally, BSTD, another sex researcher urged me to urge you to freeze some of your sperm in case you wind up busting your balls, like, permanently. Your nuts can take only so much abuse — people have ruptured and even lost testicles when ball-busting, sack-tapping, or CBT went too far. (It can even kill you: tinyurl.com/bustedballs.) As it doesn't take a lot of force to make a guy feel like his balls have been "busted," BSTD, ask your ball-busting buddies to pull those punches, kicks and stomps.

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