Savage Love
When threesomes bring out stupidity
What good can come from violated boundaries?
Published: February 29, 2012
A:
First, WYICCUW, I'm so sorry about the sexual abuse you suffered. But I would urge you to prioritize therapy over, say, a third and fourth round of drinks. Fewer copious-amounts-of-alcohol-enabled bisexual experiences in the short run, with less money going to booze and more going to therapy, may lead to more — and happier, and easier-to-recall — bisexual experiences in the long run.
As for the boyfriend, just tell him that, due to your history, an MFF threesome is not something you would be able to do for or with him anytime soon. If going without MFF threesomes for the foreseeable future is a price of admission that he's willing to pay to be with you, WYICCUW, do him the honor of letting him pay it.
Q:
I'm a straight woman who enjoys gay porn and writes slash fiction. Seeing my husband make love to another man is my biggest fantasy of all, but he insists that it will never happen. He did agree to an MMF threesome, but only if he didn't have to do anything with the other man. I found a guy in a city we are visiting in three weeks. My husband doesn't know this guy is bisexual and into him. (He has seen pictures of my husband.) I'm hoping that my husband will feel "inspired" once "things" are under way. What's the best strategy for getting my husband ... —She Lusts After Sexy Homos
A:
Sorry to cut you off there, SLASH, but I don't need to read the rest of your letter. Do not spring a bisexual-and-into-him third on your husband. Do not violate your husband's ground rules. Do not be a stupid motherfucker.
> Email Dan Savage
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