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Savage Love

Unusual junk

My package problems leave me frustrated and alone

By Dan Savage

Published: October 5, 2011


Q:

 I moved in with a friend of a friend when I was desperate to find housing in a new city. The guy I live with would be an ideal roommate except he sometimes makes homophobic comments. I never told him I'm gay — I didn't feel the need up front and now I don't feel comfortable — but homophobia is not the reason I am writing you. The situation goes deeper.

In the midst of my online exploits, I found an Xtube channel for a guy who is most certainly my roommate. He wears a mask in the videos, but the voice and build are the same, same tattoos, and his bedroom is unmistakable. In the videos, he fucks himself silly with massive dildos — MASSIVE — while begging for cock. Part of me wants to pull one of the videos up the next time he makes a comment. Part of me loves the idea of giving this homophobe a good fucking. What would you do? —Roommate's Anal Movies


A:

 Your living situation sounds like a setup for a great porn parody, RAM. (When a Stranger Comes: "The ass-stretching amateur porn is coming from inside the apartment!") It also sounds like an opportunity. If you're into this guy — and, having watched his videos (thanks for the link), it looks like you could literally walk right into this guy — why not seize that great, big, gaping opening created by your little discovery?

The next time your roommate makes a homophobic remark, RAM, tell him you're gay, tell him you don't appreciate his comments, and tell him you're somewhat mystified by his remarks in light of his body of work. Then roll the tape.

There's a chance — a slim chance — that he's not gay and just enjoys anal play, sexual transgression, and the attention he gets from men online. Here's hoping you wind up fucking some sense into your roommate and an apology out of him.

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