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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Unusual junk

My package problems leave me frustrated and alone

Q:

 I am an 18-year-old straight male. I have a hodgepodge of birth defects that affect my genitalia: severe hypospadias (my urethra — my piss slit — is at the base of my penis), micropenis (less than two inches) and anorchia (I was born without testes). I have never been naked around anyone else. I don't really like being naked by myself, to be honest.

Lately, my sex drive has skyrocketed. It is driving me up the wall. Couple this with the fact that women see me as attractive, and I'm not doing well. It's frustrating that sexual situations are presenting themselves to me and there's nothing I can do. I've recently started college, and it's endlessly frustrating to see my friends having relationships and being sexually active. I know that casual sex or flings will never be an option for me, but I am dying over here! —Messed Up Junk


A:

 "His story is one that is very familiar to us," says Tiger Howard Devore, vice president of the Hypospadias and Epispadias Association (HEA). "He should know that he is not rare and many with his kind of genital difference have learned how to communicate about their difference to potential intimate partners."

You're right, MUJ: Casual sex or flings — shucking off your clothes and jumping into bed with a girl you've just met — may never be an option for you. But you know what? Drunken college hookups last an hour or two, while the communication skills you're going to have to develop to navigate your sex life will last a lifetime.

You will have a sex life, MUJ, and there is a lot you can do. There are women out there who prefer tongues, toys and touch to vaginal penetration. On the Savage Lovecast, I took a call from a woman who was worried she would never find a partner because, although she enjoys other kinds of sex, she's physically incapable of vaginal intercourse; there's a new dating website for straight men and women "who cannot engage in sexual intercourse" (2date4love.com); and if you fall in love with a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse, sex shops sell strap-on dildos to men too.

In short, MUJ, you have options. You also have role models.

"One of the most validating and reassuring experiences someone with genital difference can have," says Devore, "is to meet with others who share their birth history and have dealt with the same issues of self-acceptance, shame and isolation, and the challenge of intimate relationships."

HEA hosts an annual conference and it's coming up, MUJ. If you can get your ass to Chicago over the weekend of Oct. 21-23, I strongly encourage you to attend HEA 2011.

"Connecting with others who share his difference is the best way to end his isolation and begin his healing," says Devore. "At the conference, he'll get expert information from doctors and psychologists, and he'll meet men who have grown up just like him and have faced the same fears and overcome them."

HEA offers financial aid to men who otherwise wouldn't be able to attend — an experience that is life changing and, in some cases, life saving — and I've made a donation so more men with hypospadias can attend this year. I'm encouraging my readers to do the same: heainfo.org.


Q:

 I'm a 26-year-old girl from Austria currently seeing a guy who likes to tie me up and gag me. It is just cuffs and ball gags so far, and I am enjoying it!

Recently he sent this text message: "mummification sounds fun." In his case, "sounds fun" means "I wish to try it." I looked it up online. Holy! I was scared after watching this video of a guy wrapping a woman first in cling film and then in duct tape! Face and everything! It seemed like out of a horror movie! I texted him back: "I realize this could be a lot of fun for you, but I don't think I can do that." He's never mentioned it again.

I feel awful for denying him. I tell myself it's about trusting the other person — yes, we have safe words! — but I just can't shake off the feeling of creepiness! Is there anything I can do to get over being terrified? Was it fair to say, "Not gonna happen"? —Because I Am Scared


A:

 "BIAS should know that it was absolutely OK for her to say, 'Not gonna happen,'" says Tynan Fox, kinkster, activist, and blogger (tynanfox.com). Fox, just 27, has been into mummification for more than a decade — he's been on both sides of the duct tape — but says he can appreciate why even some bondage fans aren't into it.

"Many people are claustrophobic," says Fox, "and they can't stomach the idea of being wrapped up, and who can blame them? Mummification is extreme play. But her boyfriend is being completely appropriate — she said she wasn't interested, he hasn't mentioned it again — and they should both be commended for their open and honest communication."

The only way to get over your feelings of terror, if you want to explore this, is to try it while taking things very, very slowly.

"She doesn't have to go directly to the full-out body-and-head-covering Saran Wrap/duct tape combo," says Fox. "Pace yourselves! Begin with Saran Wrap only, just from the shoulders to the ankles. If she freaks, the boyfriend cuts her loose and it's over. If the scene goes well, they can add a little more next time. Eventually, she may find the restriction and sensory deprivation provides a heightened sense of sexual awareness and makes her extremely horny."

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