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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Third parties

Your boyfriend has a girlfriend - and you don't know her

Q: Any time I have relationship questions, I always ask my inner Dan Savage, and he never leads me astray!

My boyfriend and I have had a wonderful relationship for six years. We have had "girlfriends" in the past who were involved with both of us simultaneously. But he recently met a girl and they instantly clicked. They have been on a few dates since — nothing physical yet — and she seems completely infatuated with him. She is aware that he lives with me, and we are together, but I've yet to meet her. I am fine with them dating, but I have a few questions:

1) My guy and I share everything. He's shown me her texts and told me about her life. We both feel slightly uncomfortable with me knowing such personal things about her without meeting her, but we don't want to limit the intensely open communication we have earned with each other. How much am I entitled to know about her, or them, and how can he tell me about her without being disrespectful?

2) Can I meet her? Under what circumstances?

3) Can this end well for her? Every girl we've dated has ended up hurt because our relationship with each other is always more important than she is. I worry this girl will be devastated when he doesn't leave me for her. Should he squelch all the romance now? She's had a rough few years, and he doesn't want to add to her problems. On the other hand, he's the first person she has been able to connect with in a long time. And should he even consider bringing her into our relationship? Things always end badly for the other girl, and I don't want to hurt her. —Curious And Respectful

A: Your outer Dan Savage won't lead you astray either, CAR, but he will smack you around:

1) Your guy needs to tell this girl that he shares absofuckinlutely everything with you. He needs to tell her that he's in a successful open relationship — successful for you two, anyway — and that he has no intention of limiting the "intensely open communication" that has made your relationship work. She needs to know that you're hearing about their dates and the details of her life, reading every text, etc.

2) Sure, you can meet her — you absofuckinlutely should meet her, CAR, as soon as possible. How about under coffee circumstances? Or drinks circumstances? Or dinner circumstances?

3) Um ... gee. If every girl you two have ever "dated" has wound up hurt, CAR, then a reasonable person might conclude that you're doing this open-relationship shit all wrong. Your "wonderful" open relationship may be working for you and it may be working for him, but if it's not working for them, CAR, then it's not working.

So your outer Dan Savage is ordering you to refrain from inviting anyone else into your "wonderful" relationship until you get a handle on what's so un-fucking-wonderful about it for your thirds. If you can't come up with anything — if it's really not anything you're doing wrong — then you should have a few laminated cards made that read, "He'll never leave me for you, his relationship with me will always be more important than his relationship with you, and this will most likely end in tears for you. Enjoy the ride."

Finally, CAR, if this woman is reeling from a rough few years and she can't handle more heartache right now and everyone you've ever messed around with has gotten hurt and you elect to "bring her into your relationship" despite my advice, then at least have the decency to stop pretending that you give a shit about the people you mess around with. Fuck her, fuck her over, move on — but don't stand there wringing your hands, pretending that you're just heartsick about the damage you two are doing to people.


Q:
My 20-year-old brother is gay. My family has known for a few years. He came out to my mom — she found his Facebook profile; he hasn't come out to anyone else in the family, but we all found out anyway. (I already knew because I would be treated to some interesting porn whenever I opened the browser on the family computer after he used it.) I've voiced my acceptance of homosexuality while he is around, but he hasn't come out. Should I pull him aside and tell him that the family is OK with him? —His Straight Big Brother

A: If you wanted to pull your brother aside to tell him the same shit every homo on earth has heard 10 million times by age 20 — "I love you, bro, but Jesus said that every time two dudes get it on, an angel gets an anal fissure" — I would advise you to keep your mouth shut. But since you're supportive, and Mom already knows, and it's on his freakin' Facebook page, pull the little coward aside. Tell him everybody knows, everybody loves him, but everybody is sick of having to pretend that they don't know what they damn well do.


Q:
I'm a hetero guy in my late 20s. I've been dating a woman I am crazy about for two months. We waited a little while to have sex, but once we finally did, during the ensuing pillow talk she probed my general fantasies and I dropped that I sometimes fantasize about superheroines. Despite the fact that these fantasies are otherwise very vanilla, she freaked out and said it reflects some kind of deep psychological problems and fundamental immaturity.

Dan, these women are drawn to appeal to what the inner pubescent boy in every hetero guy wants! Can you weigh in on whether there's something unhealthy about a grown man fantasizing about Supergirl and Zatanna? —Superheroines Unconsciously Permeate Erotic Romps

A: There's nothing unhealthy about a grown man fantasizing about superheroines, SUPER, but there is something deeply disturbing about a grown man using the present tense the way you did in your letter. You wrote "a woman I am crazy about," when what you clearly should have said was "a woman I was crazy about."

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