The five people you meet in college
The archetypal students, and how to handle them
Published: August 29, 2012
Parents' credit card
Grande, skinny, no-whip vanilla latte
Bag emblazoned with sorority letters
Hard Tail yoga pants (though never seen coming to or from yoga)
Common questions: "can I put that on my card?" or [in awestruck tone] "You do your own laundry?"
Academic habits: Attends class for purely social reasons. Otherwise skips to go shopping for sunglasses, art supplies or, if it's rush season, friends.
Often found: Traveling in packs, typically three to 18 deep.
iPod playlist: A whole playlist of Adele remixes, Nicki Minaj, Bruno Mars, Eminem and the Script.
Key words: "Like," "sorostitute," "box wine."
Pros: Has been in a protective, upper-middle-class bubble so long she will not challenge you with reality.
Cons: Strains and elevates her voice to match the standard sorority pitch. Easily bored or annoyed.
How to bluff: Ask her if she's a natural blonde, or if she knows of any good coffee shops.