Savage Love
Sweaty kid’s stuff
Could we get in trouble selling our son's undies to pervs?
Published: August 24, 2011
"I've been where your friend is," says David Jay, the founder of Asexuality Visibility Network. "He wouldn't have come out without spending a lot of time mulling it over, so respect that he's done a lot more thinking about this than you have. If he identifies as asexual or anything in the big, wide spectrum, you should respect that, period."
First, I agree 100 percent with Jay.
Second, it's entirely possible that your friend isn't really asexual, just as it's possible that I'm not really gay and Marcus Bachmann isn't really straight. Your friend may have decided to identify as asexual because he can't deal with his sexuality or wants to opt out because he finds the games required exhausting. Or he may actually be asexual. Whichever it is, you're not the sexual identity police. So long as your friend isn't externalizing an internal conflict and making other people miserable in the process — à la Marcus Bachmann — your friend doesn't need to be confronted or rescued. (And for the record: No one is "100 percent OK psychologically," and not everyone needs sex or a romantic relationship to feel content and enjoy life.)
2) "Hey, how's it going."
"Good, man, you?"
"Good. Did you see Rise of the Planet of the Apes?"
"Yeah — terrible."
"And James Franco was never shirtless — what's up with that?"
"You know, if you need tits with your science fiction, you should check out Misfits on Hulu. It's like Lost before it went to shit. And it's got tits — lots and lots of tits."
"I'll check it out — and, hey, I saw that blog post about you IDing as asexual. If that's something you want to talk about, I'd love to learn more. But if it's not something you want to talk about, we can talk about other shit."
> Email Dan Savage
We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:
To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.
Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus
To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.
Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
Full Feed