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  • Planet Ant presents A Steady Rain

    The Planet Ant Theatre in Hamtramck will present a police drama called A Steady Rain May 2 through 24. Planet Ant veterans Ryan Carlson and York Griffith will star in the play, written by House of Cards and Mad Men co-writer Keith Huff. Tickets ($10-$20) are on sale now at PlanetAnt.com. According to the press release, “A Steady Rain by Keith Huff focuses on Joey and Denny, best friends since kindergarten and partners on the police force whose loyalty to each other is tested by domestic affairs, violence and the rough streets of Chicago. Joey helps Denny with his family and Denny helps Joey stay off the bottle. But when a routine disturbance call takes a turn for the worse their loyalty is put to the ultimate test.First produced at Chicago Dramatists, A Steady Rain appeared on Broadway featuring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig. The Planet Ant production of A Steady Rain is directed by York Griffith featuring Ryan Carlson and Andy Huff. This marks the return of two of Planet Ant’s founding members. Carlson and Griffith. Griffith has served as the theatre’s Artistic Director where he directed the critically-acclaimed productions The Adding Machine and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? […]

    The post Planet Ant presents A Steady Rain appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • You can wear Detroit’s blight on your face

    There is no easy answer to the question regarding what should be done with Detroit’s abandoned homes. However, an Eastern Market company has a solution that could reflect Detroit’s possibly bright future. Homes Eyewear has set out to make the city a little more stylish, and do their part in cleaning it up by repurposing select woods from neglected homes for sunglasses. All of the wood that Homes uses is harvested from vacant houses with the assistance of Reclaim Detroit. A lot of work goes into prepping the wood to be cut and shaped into frames. Homes goes through each piece to remove nails, paint or anything else detrimental to their production (it’s a bit strange to think that your wooden sunglasses could have had family portraits nailed to them). In order to produce more durable eyewear, they salvage only hardwoods like maple or beech, which are difficult to come by as most of the blighted homes were built with softer woods like Douglas fir and pine. If you’re worried about looking goofy, or shudder at the thought of salvaged wood resting on your nose, you can rest easy. Homes currently offers frames in the popular wayfarer style and are developing their unique spin on the classic aviators. For as […]

    The post You can wear Detroit’s blight on your face appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor

    Detroit home-girl Lily Tomlin will perform at the Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor on Saturday, June 14. A press release reads, “Get together with Lily Tomlin for an unforgettable night of fun and sidesplitting laughter. “Tomlin is amazing” The NY Times and “as always a revelation.” The New Yorker This unique comic artist takes her audience on what the Washington Post calls a “wise and howlingly funny” trip with more than a dozen of her timeless characters—from Ernestine to Mrs. Beasley to Edith Ann.” “With astounding skill and energy, Tomlin zaps through the channels like a human remote control. Using a fantastic range of voices, gestures and movements, she conjures up the cast of characters with all the apparent ease of a magician pulling a whole menagerie of animals from a single hat.” NY Daily News “Her gentle touch is as comforting as it is edifying.” NY Time Out She has “made the one-person show the daring, irreverent art form it is today.” Newsweek Her long list of awards includes: a Grammy; two Tonys; six Emmys; an Oscar nomination; two Peabodys; and the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Find more info here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor

    The Detroit Metro Times, Detroit’s award-winning alternative weekly media company, is proud to announce the recent hire of Valerie Vande Panne as Editor-in-Chief. An award-winning independent journalist and Michigan native, Vande Panne’s work has appeared in Crain’s Detroit Business, The Daily Beast, and Salon, among other publications. Previously, Vande Panne attended Harvard University and was a regular contributor to The Boston Phoenix, and a news editor of High Times magazine. She has spent years covering drug policy among other subjects, including the environment, culture, lifestyle, extreme sports, and academia. “Valerie understands our business and what we expect to accomplish in Detroit. She has an excellent sense for stories that will move our readers, as well as experience with balancing print and digital content. I’m excited to have her at the paper and trust her leadership as we move forward,” said Detroit Metro Times publisher Chris Keating.

    The post Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’

    She welcomes you when you enter Detroit, from every direction, with the one word that might just be Detroit’s biggest philosophical question: Injured? Joumana Kayrouz is deeper than the inflated image watching over Detroit, peddling justice to the poor and broken of the city. This Wednesday, Drew Philp takes us behind the billboard and into the heart of the Kayrouz quest. (And all of Brian Rozman’s photos of Kayrouz have not been retouched.) Check out MT‘s cover story, on newsstands Wednesday!

    The post Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt

    There was a fire in an upstairs apartment at PJ’s Lager House on Monday evening. No people were hurt, although three cats belonging to the tenants died after CPR. The fire broke out around 10:30 p.m. during a show featuring Zombie Jesus & the Chocolate Sunshine Band, Curtin, and Jeffrey Jablonsky. “We just smelled smoke and someone yelled everyone has to get out,” 33-year-old Nick Leu told MLive. On the Lager House Facebook page in the early hours of the morning, a post said, “We at PJ’s lager House would like to thank everyone for their care and concern. Also, a very big THANK YOU to all who stepped up to do what they could this evening. The fire was contained to the upstairs but due to water damage in the bar, we will be closed until it can be assessed. Everyone is safe and we will keep you updated.” A later update read, “Update from the big boss. Since there was no damage to the stage side of the bar, the show will go on tomorrow! You may have to enter through the back door and there may not be a large selection of booze but we are going […]

    The post Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Spit or swallow?

He wants a pretty dramatic climax, but she just wants to swallow

Q: I love reading your column and never thought that I would have a reason to write to you, but to my pleasure and chagrin, I realized today that I could use your help.

I am a 23-year-old woman. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and we have lived together for two. We have a very healthy sex life, and the longer we are together, the better it gets! There is just one problem: He wants me to get really raunchy with his come when I am blowing him. I guess it's called an "oral creampie." Anyway, he wants to shoot on my face with my mouth open, he wants me to let him come in my mouth and then let it drool back out on my chin or his cock, all kinds of things in that vein. I would LOVE to do that for him — but when it's go time, I freeze and can't bring myself to do it and end up swallowing his come instead.

Honestly, I think the thought of come bothers me. I can swallow it because once I do, it's gone and I don't have to worry about it — but with this, I have to play with it and run it all around in my mouth. I need to know how to embrace his come instead of fearing it so our sex life can continue to grow instead of stagnate on this one thing. Help! —Frozen Creampie

A: According to Urban Dictionary — the final authority on all sex definitions these days — an "oral creampie" isn't anywhere near as involved a process as your boyfriend makes it out to be.

"While receiving a blow job," says Urban Dictionary, "the alpha male peaks to orgasm — while the male is in the midst of ejaculation, or cumming, the female continues the act of oral sex without removing her lips and/or mouth from the alpha males penis — thus, causing the male to cum inside the females mouth, and possibly down her throat while she is still sucking the males penis."

Beyond all that awful punctuation, you gotta love how the alpha male — no blow jobs for you beta males — "peaks to orgasm" all by himself. He isn't brought to orgasm thanks to the determined efforts of a giving partner. No. A blow job is something alpha males do for themselves. There he is, our alpha male, peaking to orgasm all on his own, when suddenly a woman trips and falls face-first into his lap.

Anyway, FC, it looks like you're doing the oral creampie already: You're blowing him; you're swallowing. Your boyfriend is asking you for what we're going to call "more." And this isn't something he's asking you to do "when [you're] blowing him," but after you're done blowing him. Because once he comes, FC, the blow job is technically over. Emission accomplished. So he's asking for a blow job-and-then-some, an above-and-beyond-the-call post-blow job indulgence.

A couple of thoughts ...

Presumably, your boyfriend eats your pussy. And when he does, FC, he gets your vaginal secretions all over his face — it's smeared all over his chin and cheeks and nose and lips. It's applied gradually, in layers, like a varnish. There's a big difference between your secretions and his — he comes all at once, in a few massive splats — but if he's eating your pussy, FC, he's already doing a slo-mo version of what he's asking you to do for him.

But even so, FC, your boyfriend has to recognize the above-and-beyond nature of the request he's making. He's getting head — good, enthusiastic head too, as evidenced by all the alpha orgasms he's peaking. And there you are, only too happy to swallow — even if your true motive is to dispose of his semen as quickly as possible. It seems to me that 1) your boyfriend shouldn't push this oral creampie thing too hard and 2) you shouldn't feel too bad if you can't bring yourself to do this for him anytime soon.

Your inability to do this one thing — this one above-and-beyond thing — shouldn't be allowed to "derail" an otherwise excellent sex life. Your sex life can "continue to grow" even if this particular act won't be scratched off the boyfriend's bucket-o-come list anytime soon. Do the stuff you enjoy, try new things, continue to grow together. And maybe play with his come a little bit along the way — masturbate him sometimes, or let him masturbate himself, and run your fingers through his come — and perhaps your fears and inhibitions will decrease and one day you'll be able to enjoy his juices (a word I hate in this context) just as much as he enjoys yours.

And he does enjoy yours, right? Because if he isn't eating your pussy, FC, then you shouldn't even be blowing him, much less feeling guilty about not gargling with his come after you're done.


Q:
I grew up in a shitty conservative town with a batshit crazy mother and a philandering father who, despite leaving my mom when I was 2, went on to be a pretty good dad and definitely the only moderately stable parent in my life. I wanted his love and approval. I went to law school and married a guy who was, essentially, my dad. They became best friends. Very shortly into the marriage, I fell in love with a woman, realized I'm a total homo, and got divorced. I'm still with the same woman and I'm no longer suicidal over my internalized homophobia. Yay.

My dad didn't exactly support my decision, but he has made an effort to get to know my girlfriend and isn't acting quite as crushed as I know he was when I came out and divorced my husband.

However, he continues to have a relationship with my ex-husband. This enrages me. I felt like he sided with the ex at every turn during our separation and divorce, and now I feel like he's incapable of understanding my feelings. I'm still friendly with my ex, although I have tremendous guilt issues over not having figured myself out before dragging him into a marriage. My dad's point is that his friendship with my ex has nothing to do with me.

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