Trending
Most Read
  • Reports from the ‘High Times’ Medical Marijuana Cup in Clio

    On Saturday we set out to check out the High Times Medical Marijuana Cup in Clio, Mich. — High Times did hold a Cannabis Cup in the Motor City back in 2011, but Detroit police flexing their muscles and making arrests at that event may have been to blame, at least partially, for the choice of a new host city. The event was held this year at the Auto City Speedway, (also known as “B.F.E.” to Detroiters). Nevertheless, the prospect of stopping at the Torch for the best burger in the Genessee County was compelling — and anyway, this was the Cannabis Cup we were talking about. Was it really going to be “work?” It turned out, just a little bit. An inexplicable lack of an on-site ATM meant hiking quite a ways up the road to the nearest gas station, and then waiting for an attendant to restock the ATM with cash. We spoke with plenty of Cannabis Cup attendees at the gas station — everybody knows that the local gas station is a stoner’s best-friend. The two-day festival, for which one-day tickets were sold for $40, was divided into two sections — a general area and a medicating […]

    The post Reports from the ‘High Times’ Medical Marijuana Cup in Clio appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • ICYMI: Forbes rates Detroit #9 on its “America’s Most Creative Cities” list

    Yes, it’s true. Forbes says Detroit is one of America’s most creative cities: “We ranked these places based on four metrics: activity per capita on project-funding platforms Kickstarter and Indiegogo and music sites Bandcamp and ReverbNation. The goal was to capture organic creativity, since many artistic and musical types have “day jobs” outside of creative pursuits.” The Forbes list sandwiches #9 Detroit between #8 Seattle and #10 Oakland, Calif. If you are watching the art and culture explosion happening right now in Detroit, you probably think we should rank higher than #2 Boston and #1 San Francisco, if only for the fact that it’s actually affordable to create here and there is space for everyone to be creative. But hey, those metrics weren’t part of the equation. And there’s always next year.

    The post ICYMI: Forbes rates Detroit #9 on its “America’s Most Creative Cities” list appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Food trucks go to the dogs

    Today, starting at 10am, Milo’s Kitchen Treat Truck will be swinging by the  Cherry Hill Village at Preservation Park on  N. Roosevelt St. in Canton. They’ll be serving the pups (“gour-mutts,” as Milo’s calls them) treats and the dog parents the opportunity of “family portraits.” Milo’s is on a cross-country food truck trip, promoting their “grilled burger bites” and “chicken meatballs” to pup parents from L.A. to NYC, with stops in between, including Chicago, Detroit, Pittsburgh, the Carolinas, and Arkansas. But watch out! Milo’s Kitchen Treat Truck markets “real chicken and beef home-style dog treats” that are are “wholesome” and “authentic” without “artificial flavors or colors-made right here in the USA.” Authentic, processed food that is. Remember what George Carlin said about “home-style”? Their treats are also packed with soy, TVP, wheat flour, tapioca, rice, and sugar–fillers that make the meat go far and aren’t the best for your pup. They’re also packed with preservatives, like sodium erythorbate, nitrates, BHA, sodium tripolyphosphate, and potassium sorbate. Small amounts are probably ok, and no doubt the pup will love it, the same way it’s easy for humans to love carb- and sugar- laden, processed and preserved, treats.  

    The post Food trucks go to the dogs appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Former Tigers Dave Rozema and Ike Blessitt to honor Mark “The Bird” Fidrych

    Coming up on August 16, former Detroit Tigers Dave Rozema and Ike Blessitt will team up with the Navin Field Grounds Crew and Metro Times‘ own Dave Mesrey to honor legend Mark “The Bird” Fidrych. The festivities, known as the annual “Bird Bash,” will be held at the infamous Nemo’s Bar & Grill, and will benefit The Bird’s favorite charity, the Wertz Warriors, and also the Mark Fidrych Foundation. For more information, check out their website or Facebook page.

    The post Former Tigers Dave Rozema and Ike Blessitt to honor Mark “The Bird” Fidrych appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • First Little League game at Navin Field today

    Today Navin Field (the Old Tiger Stadium) hosts its first Little League game on a new field made just to host the youngsters! Here’s a photo of the game happening right now, courtesy Tom Derry and Metro Times‘ copy editor extraordinaire, Dave Mesrey: Stop by the site (corner of Michigan and Trumbull) today to watch history in the making!

    The post First Little League game at Navin Field today appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Twerk du Soleil shakes up Detroit

    Former American Idol contestant Vonzell Solomon weighs in on twerking, natural hair & CEO status. In 2005, recording artist Vonzell “Baby V” Solomon embarked on a journey that changed her life. At the age of 20, Vonzell made it to the top three on American Idol before she was eliminated. But that was not the beginning nor the end of her journey to stardom. Vonzell is one of more than two dozen artists on tour with YouTube sensation Todrick Hall, who is a former Idol contestant as well. Todrick gained notoriety for his fast food drive-thru songs and also for producing parody videos  —  based on popular Broadway musicals and songs. His tour, uniquely entitled Twerk Du Soleil (translation: twerk of the sun), is a combination of his popular YouTube spoofs. Both Vonzell and her ratchet alter ego,Boonquisha Jenkins, made an appearance in Twerk Du Soleil,which stopped in Detroit July 23 at Saint Andrews Hall. Boonquisha opened the show by facilitating a twerking competition among the audience. Next, Vonzell made a reappearance singing a fan favorite – Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing.” Later, Boonquisha came on stage screaming “It’s so cold in the D! You gotta be from the D to […]

    The post Twerk du Soleil shakes up Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

Calendar

Calendar

Search thousands of events in our database.

Restaurants

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Nightlife

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

MT on Twitter
MT on Facebook

Print Email

Savage Love

Snappy answers

Dan fields questions that range from good to bad to stupid

I spoke at Pacific University in Forest Grove, Ore., last Thursday night. PU students submitted a lot more questions — anonymous, on 3-by-5-inch cards — than I could possibly answer in the 90 minutes we had together. So I'm going to use this week's column to answer some of the PU questions I didn't get to. Here we go:

Q: What is the biggest barrier to the acceptance of gay marriage in the U.S.?

A: There are two big barriers.

First: all those loud, aggressive and hypocritical right-wing "Christian" shitsticks who oppose marriage equality because of some supposedly anti-gay bullshit they read in the Bible while ignoring everything in the very same Bible that limits their own sexual freedoms — you know, all those motherfuckers who masturbate, fornicate, divorce and remarry, and then turn around and oppose same-sex marriage because it "goes against their religion."

Second: all those quiet, timid and cowardly NALT Christians out there who support marriage equality but have allowed their conservative coreligionists to hijack Christianity. ("NALT" stands for "not all like that," the phrase you hear from liberal Christians whenever you bitch about conservative Christians, i.e., "We're not all like that!" Yes, yes, NALTs — we know. You're not all like that. Don't tell us. Tell Tony Perkins, tell the pope, tell Maggie Gallagher et al.)


Q:
Do you have advice about a breakup?

A: Thinking about breaking up with someone? Don't draw it out — nothing is worse than the humiliating realization, some days after you've been dumped, that the person who dumped you wanted out of the relationship weeks or months earlier.

Just been broken up with? Cry, eat, delete (phone numbers, e-mail, texts, sexts), defriend, hit the gym, hit on someone else just as soon as you're able. Or sooner.


Q:
If you were an animal, what animal would you be?

A: I'm an animal already — I'm a primate, like you. If I had to be some other kind of animal, well, I would want to be either a tapeworm living in my husband's gut or a particularly lethal bacteria that had just been inhaled by Glenn Beck.


Q:
What is your opinion of straight women participating in No Shave November?

A: I know nothing about No Shave November — but I'm an American, and we don't let ignorance stop us from forming opinions. So I wholeheartedly endorse No Shave November, its mission, and women's participation in it.


Q:
What is your response to people who say that being gay is a choice?

A: "You think being gay is a choice? Then choose it: Suck my dick. Show me how it's done. You choose it — suck my dick — right now, and I'll videotape it, and then we'll put the proof that being gay is a choice on the Internet for the whole world to see. Deal?"


Q:
Do cooling and warming lubes just burn for everyone? Or is there something wrong with me? Why are they advertised as being so awesome?

A: I'm not sure why they're suddenly marketing hot-and-cool lubes to breeders so aggressively. But straight folks should know that gay people were using these lubes 40 years ago. They were called "hot lubes" back then, and gay people quickly realized that there wasn't anything interesting or sexy or awesome about a burning hole.


Q:
What's the most effective method for getting santorum out of the sheets?

A: An ounce of prevention — or the careful placement of a towel — is worth a pound of Spray 'n Wash Stain Stick. If putting down a towel, or taking time to douche, is too much for you, fuck on the floor or get brown sheets.


Q:
I had a traumatic experience my freshman year that scarred me to the point that I did not want my boyfriend to be even a little dominant. Now, three years later, I am ready to take on a submissive role. How do I get my boyfriend to accept a submissive me?

A: Thank the boyfriend for being the not-even-a-little-dom partner you needed while you healed. Then tell him that, thanks in large part to him, you're secure enough to start mixing it up and you want to explore consensual, erotic submission. Then offer him your erotic submission — in whatever form it turns you on — without asking him to play an overtly dominant role. Then, when he sees that you're not going to shatter, or that you're really sure about this and that it really turns you on, he can grow into a more overtly dominant role.


Q:
What should I do if it is too big to get in without hurting? Lube is not an option!

A: If it hurts going in and lube is not an option, then I have a one-word answer for you. And it's not what you should do when someone stuffs a big dick into you and lube isn't an option for some mysterious reason, but what you're gonna do when someone stuffs a big dick into you and lube isn't an option for some mysterious reason: suffer.


Q:
Is college really the best place to meet the love of your life? And if not, then what do you do in the meantime?

A: Some people do meet the loves of their lives at college. But you won't know if you're one of those people until you're well out of college. So hook up with hope.


Q:
How important do you think sexual chemistry and compatibility are in a long-term relationship?

A: Sexual chemistry and compatibility are only as important as sexual exclusivity and satisfaction are. If the latter doesn't matter, then former is irrelevant. And for the record: Companionate marriage — the union of two individuals who sincerely love each other but who don't fuck (or don't fuck each other) because they have no sexual chemistry and compatibility (at least with each other) — can be wonderful. There are lots of happy, healthy companionate marriages out there — indeed, it's a "lifestyle option" that rarely gets the recognition or credit it deserves.


Q:
Do you think polyamory is possible or healthy?

A: Polyamorous relationships are possible — I know for a fact that they're possible — but they're only as healthy as the folks who are in them. The same goes for monogamous relationships.


Thanks to Kayla, Chris, Lisa, Nancy and everybody else at Pacific University who brought me in!

We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus