Q: My partner lives far away, and we can't live together for at least two years. He says I can sleep with whomever I like. I want to tell him the same thing, but I am kinda jealous and insecure. I told him to just not tell me, but he doesn't want to lie. What to do?

A: Withholding information at your request — holding that info back until you're ready for it — doesn't make your partner a liar. It makes him a considerate partner. Tell him to do what he needs to do, but to spare you the details.

OK! Thanks for a great event, Madison, and I hope to come back soon. We have one more letter this week. It wasn't a question asked at the talk I gave in Madison, but it does have a Madison connection ...

I met you briefly in Madison, Wis., a long time ago. As a physician, I'm usually impressed with your savvy advice and medical accuracy. And your It Gets Better Project is a major contribution to the mental and physical health of adolescents and young adults.

Now for a quick medical comment: I agree with your suggestion that doctors give "flared-base" advice to patients who use anal toys. But there's a simple way for a person who didn't get that advice to remove an object that is stuck in the rectum. They should squat — do a deep knee bend — stay still, relax, breathe and — voila! The item will pop out onto the floor. No probing or uncomfortable procedure necessary. After learning about this technique from a very wise woman physician (who recalled the history of women giving birth in that position and applied the same principle to relaxing the rectal muscles), I used this with young adult patients who would come to my clinic in an embarrassing predicament. The result was simple and comfortable for both patient and physician. Feel free to pass this advice on to others who might benefit! —Best Advice Simplifies Exit

Thanks for sharing, BASE!

*Sometimes both at once!

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