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Savage Love

Short and sweet

Snappy responses to simple questions


Q:

 My husband wants to be spanked. This is beyond my comfort zone. What can I do to get over this apprehension? Practice on the dogs and cats? —Can't Go There


A:

 A woman who spanks her dogs and cats goes to actual jail, CGT, but a woman who spanks her husband goes to GGG heaven. But if you simply can't get over your apprehension, outsource those spankings to your friendly local professional dominant.


Q:

 My best guy friend had sex with me. Does that mean he loves me? —Holding Out Hope


A:

 Don't be ridiculous, HOH. People have sex with people they don't love all the time. It isn't proof that your guy friend doesn't love you, of course, but it's not proof that he does.


Q:

 I recently broke off a relationship after my female partner demanded that I get a circumcision. I told her I would get one if she did. She told me I was a sexist asshole. I don't see where she gets off asking me to mutilate myself if she won't. Am I wrong? —Uncut About Anchorage


A:

 You weren't wrong to refuse to cut yourself for her, UAA, but you were wrong to equate "female circumcision" with male circumcision. A woman who's been "circumcised" — a woman who has been subjected to genital mutilation — has had her clit cut off. The male equivalent would be the removal of the head of the cock, not the foreskin.


Q:

 With all the stress of jobs, relationships, kids, etc., what's your advice for romance and great sex when you're overwhelmed by life? —Jack And Jill


A:

 My advice is to give up on great sex. Not forever, JAJ, but for now. Make time for some good-not-great, low-stakes, low-pressure, undemanding mutual masturbation sessions. Lie down together and get off while dirty talking about the truly great marathon sex sessions you're gonna have once your stress levels drop. Then do it!


Hey, LGBT supporters: We scored some big victories in the last two weeks. But as we race toward marriage equality in California, Washington, Maryland and New Jersey (don't be such a fucking coward, Christie!), we should remember that there are LGBT people living in cities, counties and states without any civil rights protections for queers. I hate to guilt folks into making political donations two weeks in a row — last week, Planned Parenthood, this week, One Anchorage — but One Anchorage could use our help. The haters are planning a big advertising campaign to block equality for LGBT people in Anchorage. One Anchorage needs to get on the air and counter the hate and lies. Donate here: oneanchorage.com.

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