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  • Watch footage of the Gathering of the Juggalos dubbed with Morgan Freeman narration (NSFW)

      Footage from the Gathering of the Juggalos set to clips of Morgan Freeman’s narration from March of the Penguins? Kind of forced, but also kind of beautiful. As the AV Club reports: The oft-sought voiceover champion lends a touch of gravitas to the festival proceedings. Unfortunate scenes of barely clad people having various liquids dumped onto them now carries a quiet dignity as it’s all part of nature’s majestic plan that keeps the world spinning through this elegantly designed and truly wondrous universe. Also, the video is NSFW as there are boobs in it. Watch the clip below:

    The post Watch footage of the Gathering of the Juggalos dubbed with Morgan Freeman narration (NSFW) appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Turn to Crime debut chilly video for “Can’t Love”

    It seems like the polar vortex will never end: the weather phenomenon that brought us the most brutal winter on record this winter is to blame for this summer’s chillier-than usual temperatures as well. A couple of bands, though, made lemonade out of lemons (or snow cones out of snow?) by using the icy landscape to film music videos. 800beloved shot the video for “Tidal” in some sand dunes near Empire, Mich., and this week Turn to Crime debuted the video for “Can’t Stop,” the title track of their recently-released album. Even more piles of ice and snow might be the last thing Detroiters want to see right now, but the footage makes for some good visuals that mesh well with the song. Watch the video below:

    The post Turn to Crime debut chilly video for “Can’t Love” appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Duggan takes control of Detroit water department; says changes to approach on ‘delinquent payment issues’ needed

    Detroit Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr transferred oversight of the the city’s water department Tuesday to Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan in an order intended to refocus “efforts to help DWSD customers get and remain current on their water bills,” Orr’s office said today. “This order provides additional clarity to the powers already delegated to the mayor,” Orr said in a statement released Tuesday. “As the Detroit Water and Sewerage Department works to operate more efficiently and communicate more effectively with customers, it is important to ensure there are clear lines of management and accountability.” Duggan will have the authority to manage DWSD and make appointments to the utility’s board, according to a news release. In a statement issued Tuesday, the mayor said he welcomed Orr’s order, adding that officials will develop a plan that “allows those who truly need to access to financial help … to do so with shorter wait times.” “We need to change a number of things in the way we have approached the delinquent payment issues and I expect us to have a new plan shortly,” Duggan said. “There are funds available to support those who cannot afford their bills — we need to do a much better job in […]

    The post Duggan takes control of Detroit water department; says changes to approach on ‘delinquent payment issues’ needed appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Rovers Scooter Club Celebrates 10 Years

    Rovers Scooter Club, a local gang dedicated to celebrating and riding motor scooters, will be celebrating its 10 year anniversary this week with a very special ride. Motor City Shakedown, the annual birthday party for the club, will commence this Friday, August 1 at New Way Bar. DJ Grover from Cincinnati will be spinning northern soul, reggae, and ska, according to club member Michael Palazzola. Saturday will feature a ride from Ferndale to Detroit, starting at noon at M-Brew. Palazzola says this is where most bikes will congregate before taking the ride to the city and folks will be prepping by getting some grub starting at 10 a.m.  Detroit’s Tangent Gallery will host the after party,  a special event that will feature performances by several bands as well as Satori Circus. That portion of the event will commence at 8 p.m. with performances starting at 9 p.m. It’s free to riders, but the public is welcome to join the party with the mere cost of a door charge. Come midnight, the club will raffle off a vintage Lambretta LI 150. Sunday morning will end the weekend of festivities, with brunch taking place at the Bosco in Ferndale.   

    The post Rovers Scooter Club Celebrates 10 Years appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Lessenberry on the battle to ban the Metro Times

    Turns out, our very own Jack Lessenberry knows the Grosse Pointer seeking to ban the MT: Ten years or so ago, a woman named Andrea Lavigne sat in on some media survey classes I was teaching at Wayne State University. She was in her late 30s or early 40s, and seemed to be searching for answers. She wanted to know how the media work, and told me she was a Maoist. This fascinated me, because I thought authentic Maoists were almost as rare as passenger pigeons. Chairman Mao, we now know, starved to death and slaughtered tens of millions of his own citizens, and kept China economically and intellectually backward. Intrigued, I got together one night before class with her and another Maoist, to find out what they were all about. Alas, they spouted a form of primitive, grade-school Marxism. They seemed to have very little historical knowledge of Communism or what it had actually been like. Yes. A Maoist. Read the full story at Michigan Radio here.

    The post Lessenberry on the battle to ban the Metro Times appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit residents sue incinerator owner over ‘noxious odors and contaminants’

    A class-action lawsuit has been filed against the owner of Detroit’s municipal solid waste incinerator Monday, accusing the company of nuisance and gross negligence violations According to the complaint filed by Detroit-based Liddle & Dubin P.C., “On occasions too numerous to list, Plaintiffs’ property including Plaintiffs’ neighborhood, residences and yards were physically invaded by noxious odors and contaminants … As a direct and proximate result of the Defendant’s’ negligence in operating and/or maintaining the facility, Plaintiffs’ property has been invaded by noxious odors.” The eight-page complaint charges that local property values have dropped due to the incinerator’s presence, “and has interfered with Plaintiffs’ use and enjoyment of their property.” The lawsuit, filed in Wayne County Circuit Court, seeks a financial award in excess of $25,000 and all costs and attorney fees related to the case. In an email, a spokesperson for the company says, “Detroit Renewable Power is reviewing the complaint filed today,” but declined further comment. The suit comes weeks after a Metro Times’ cover story earlier this month found a growing number of odor complaints from nearby residents since Detroit Renewable Power LLC (DRP) took control of the facility in 2010. The investigation found a spike in citations from the Michigan Department […]

    The post Detroit residents sue incinerator owner over ‘noxious odors and contaminants’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Short and sweet

Snappy responses to simple questions

I headed north last week to do Savage Love Live — a rapid-fire, slightly tipsy Q&A session — at the University of Alaska Anchorage. It was my third visit to UAA and it was a blast. All of the questions in this week's column were submitted to me by UAA students and staffers.


Q:

 Should I go ahead and divorce my fantastic wife of 23 years now because gay marriage is going to destroy it eventually anyway? —Tony From Wasilla


A:

 You might as well do it now, TFW, if only to beat the rush. Just in the last couple of weeks, the 9th Circuit ruled that California's Prop 8 is unconstitutional, the governor of Washington State signed marriage equality into law, and marriage equality campaigns made huge strides in Maryland and Maine. Pretty soon, all the lawyers who specialize in "traditional divorce" are going to be booked solid as traditional marriages buckle under the strain of all of this equality nonsense. Wait too long to get divorced, TFW, and you may not be able to get divorced at all. Find a lawyer now!


Q:

 I am with a girl who is a female ejaculator. It's pretty cool, but the quantity of ejaculate is way too much. Am I getting peed on here? —Tidal Wave


A:

 You're not getting peed on. (Science says: female ejaculate  urine.) But don't take my word for it, TW: Ask your girlfriend to piss on you sometime, and see if you can't tell the difference.


Q:

 My friend is a lesbian but recently started dating a gay man. They seem really happy. What does that make them? They were both really active in the LGBT community before getting together. —Confused Straight Ally


A:

 You see that "B" in LGBT, CSA? It stands for "bisexual," and it's there for a reason. Your friend may have been B all along, or perhaps she's just B for this one particular guy, and he's B for her, but there's really nothing to be confused about, and your friends can and should remain active in the LGBT community.


Q:

 I know about your "price of admission" theory. What else do you have to offer by way of advice for a healthy, lasting relationship? —Annoyed With Him


A:

 Selective, self-induced short- and long-term memory loss.

You have to learn to shrug off minor and sometimes not-so-minor annoyances — maybe even a betrayal or two over the decades — because an ability to forgive and truly forget is necessary for the survival of any long-term relationship. If you're having a hard time getting there, AWH, speak to your doctor about medical marijuana.


Q:

 I'm a lesbian, and my friend who is a bi male keeps asking me to peg him. How should I deal with this? —Not Into Boys


A:

 If it doesn't bother you, NIB, laugh it off. If it does bother you, slap him down.


Q:

 How do you tell a more-than-a-friend that his hygiene is an issue? —The New Girlfriend


A:

 "Hey, big boy, you stink. Jump in the shower — there's a blow job in it for you."


Q:

 Advice for beginning buttsexers? We're having trouble getting started. —Hole New World


A:

 Start with rimming, during or immediately after a shower, move on to fingers, small toys, and finally dick. Take your time! Work up to buttsex over a week or two, HNW, not in a single evening. Lots of lube, penetration should be slow and very controlled, breathe, medical marijuana.


Q:

 I can't brag to my friends, but I need to brag publicly and anonymously: I had a threesome for the first time, and it was awesome. Highly recommended! —Fun Unicorn Completes Kinksters


A:

 Another perceived-to-be-monogamous couple that actually isn't monogamous! Welcome to the monogamish club, FUCK!

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