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Savage Love

'She's twice my age'

May-December's younger member feels pushed away

By Dan Savage

Published: January 26, 2011

That said, THIN, if all the bigger girls you've dated emerged from your relationship feeling worse about themselves and their bodies ... you might be doing something wrong. Were you treating your girlfriends like human beings and talking about their bodies in a way that made them feel attractive? Or did you treat them like fetish objects and talk about their bodies in a way that made them feel disgusted with themselves — and with you?


Q: I'm a gay college student who's into bondage and kink. I'm also very involved with the Episcopal Church and want to become a leader in my church. I don't think that my predilection for bondage and my desire to pursue ordained ministry conflict, especially because I am fairly monogamous. Is there a conflict? —Wannabe Ordained Kinkster

A: I don't see a conflict, WOK, but I am not now, nor have I ever been, the Archbishop of Canterbury. If you can meet and marry a nice boy who shares your kinks, and you remain successfully monogamous, and you have no desire to go to the Folsom Street Fair or post play pictures of yourself on kinky personal sites, I don't see how your coreligionists will learn about your sexual interests, much less be scandalized by 'em.

That said, WOK, um ... I have nothing more to add. Fuck Sarah Palin, go Bears, preorders: tinyurl.com/4f2g524.

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