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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Sex toy etiquette

Tactful house guests won't mention what they find

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Q:

 I have a question regarding pornography usage and browser histories. As a matter of courtesy to my wife (and anyone else who may use our devices), I always clear the browser history on whatever device (computer/iPad) I may have used to view pornography. I have always just assumed that she doesn't want to see "Teen Anal Adventures" or "Lifestyles of the Deep and Fisted" when she logs onto the browser history. However, the other day, she noticed a blank browser history and berated me for "keeping secrets" from her regarding my masturbatory viewings. I thought I was following proper etiquette by erasing the browser history. Now I am not so sure. Your thoughts?  — Wondering Husband Always Clears Kache

 

A:

 If your wife enjoys porn, doesn't smut-shame you for enjoying porn, and wants to check out your browser history because she finds it titillating to review your recent porn picks, then stop clearing your browser history.

But if your wife hates porn and smut-shames you for watching porn, WHACK, then keep clearing your browser history. She's not angry that you're keeping secrets. She's angry that you're watching porn and she's trying to create a lose-lose scenario for you. Watch porn and don't clear your browser history? Get in trouble for watching porn. Watch porn and clear your browser history? Get in trouble for watching porn. The only way you can avoid getting in trouble? Stop watching porn.

And we both know that ain't gonna happen, right?

So keep clearing your browser history, WHACK, which is the courteous thing to do. And ignore the wife when she tries to make you feel guilty about watching porn because that kind of inconsiderate, controlling, smut-shaming behavior shouldn't be tolerated. (My response presumes that your porn consumption is moderate, WHACK, and that you're not neglecting the wife's needs for emotional and sexual intimacy in favor of alone time with your laptop. If your habits are immoderate or you're neglecting her, then your wife has every right to be furious — at you, WHACK, not porn.)

 

Q:

 I'm gay and so is my insanely attractive boyfriend. We have been dating for a year now. His attractiveness isn't a problem ... until it is. You see, he enjoys getting compliments and he gets them frequently from other gay guys. I love my boyfriend and I am happy when he's happy, but the frequency with which guys make passes at him has started to make me uncomfortable. I told him this, and he tells me he isn't going to tell them to stop because he doesn't see what the problem is, and that it would seem standoffish to say anything negative about these passes. He tells me that it's not like he's making passes back and most of the time he insists I'm misinterpreting an innocent interaction. These guys are actively flirting with my boyfriend, and he takes it as a compliment! Am I being appropriately protective or am I being a jealous douche?  — Scared And Protective

 

A:

 If your friends — yours or his — are making passes at your boyfriend, SAP, then you have a right to be angry. Good gay etiquette dictates that friends either refrain from making passes at insanely attractive guys who have boyfriends or that they make passes at the insanely attractive guy and his boyfriend. If your friends are making the passes at your boyfriend only, or they're making passes at him or you (or both) when they know your relationship is exclusive, then you and your boyfriend need to let your disrespectful or clueless friends know that they're being huge assholes.

But there's not much you can do about strangers making passes at your boyfriend, SAP, particularly if your boyfriend enjoys the attention — and it sure sounds like he does.

You've got a hot boyfriend, SAP, and that has its perks. But it has drawbacks too. Putting up with other people innocently hitting on your boyfriend — innocent because they don't know your boyfriend is partnered, SAP, and because your boyfriend isn't exactly exuding a fuck off vibe — is the price you'll have to pay to be with this insanely attractive guy. Willing yourself to take these passes and your boyfriend's clear enjoyment of them in stride, SAP, is a wiser course than allowing something that's outside your control to become an ongoing source of conflict in your relationship.

 

Q:

 Staying with friends of friends in their guest suite and discovered a "funnel gag" sitting on the floor next to the bed. (I took a picture and did a Google Images search!) My best guess is that it fell there after its last "use," as it was on the side of the bed nearest the wall and it could have been overlooked during "cleanup." Do I say something? What's the "etiquette" in a situation like this? What do people use these things for?  — Guest Asks Graciously

A:

 People don't use them to "water" stubborn plants, GAG.

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