Savage Love
Secret service
He said he’d be honest about the kinky online chats, then she found the e-mails
Published: February 1, 2012
Q:
Your question last week from the guy who "stumbled over" his brother's femdom sex blog reminded me of a funny story: My little brother came out to my conservative-but-not-particularly-religious Jewish parents in 1995. It was rough. Our parents refused to help pay for my wedding because I insisted on inviting my brother and his boyfriend. Mom and Dad are now rightly embarrassed by their behavior and they worship his husband. (It helps that my brother married a doctor — some stereotypes are true.)
Last year, my parents found out that my older brother — their straight son — is kinky. A vindictive ex hacked into his e-mail and sent a letter to everyone in his address book. Big bro has a dungeon, his current girlfriend is his slave, he's made BDSM porn. The e-mail came with pictures no mother would want to see. Mom, completely distraught, called her gay son: "Why can't Josh have a normal relationship!" she cried. "Like yours!"
So far as Mom is concerned, her gay son is normal and her straight son is a freak. Is that progress, Dan? —Brothers Done Shocking Mom
A:
I don't know if it's progress, BDSM, but it's hilarious. And I trust that you're sticking up for your kinky straight brother now just like you stuck up for your gay brother back in the day.
Be sure to listen to me interrogate Ira Glass on the Savage Lovecast this week — when he's allowed to make fart jokes, he's a whole new man: thestranger.com/savage.
> Email Dan Savage
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