Savaging Santorum

Q:

 I am writing to thank you. I remember reading your definition of "santorum" — "the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex" — when it first appeared. I remember thinking it was a cute way to make fun of a dickhead politician. I never thought it would go this far. But after Iowa, Rick Santorum is in the spotlight again. And so is that frothy mixture. And that's fucking awesome. —Jeff In Wisconsin

A:

 Don't thank me, JIW. Thank Rick Santorum for making his bigotry crystal-clear in a 2003 interview with the Associated Press. Santorum equated consensual gay sex with child rape and dog-fucking, stated that birth control should be illegal, and argued that states should be able to arrest, prosecute, and imprison people — gay and straight — for private, consensual sex acts.

Thank the Savage Love reader who, after reading that interview, urged me to invite my readers to submit new definitions for Santorum's last name. And thank the Savage Love readers who — in their wisdom — selected "the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex" from a crowded field of equally repulsive candidates.

I did my part: I counted the ballots, I created a website (spreadingsantorum.com) that eight years later remains the No. 1 return when you google "Santorum." But, again, if it weren't for my creative, kinky and hilarious readers, JIW, an otherwise distressing news cycle — a ranting, raving, washed-up religious bigot tied for first place in the Iowa caucuses? — would not have been leavened by such unintentionally hilarious headlines as "Santorum Surges from Behind," "Santorum Runs Hard," and "Romney Squeezes Out Santorum."

Q:

 Dan Savage is one sick, pathetic excuse for a human being. Truly a sad piece of sh*t. Especially trying to "insert himself" — pun intended — into the GOP presidential race. —Savage Isn't Completely Kind

A:

 We redefined "santorum" back in 2003, SICK, long before Santorum was running for president. So it would be more accurate to say that the GOP presidential race has inserted itself into me, not the other way around. And, gosh, I hope there isn't any santorum on the GOP presidential race when it pulls out of me — that would be so embarrassing!

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