The Advice of a Episcopal Bishop Reverend Gene Robinson
God’s wonderful plan of diversity
Published: April 10, 2013
— Bored In Bed
Having a partner who focuses like a laser beam on our pleasure sounds ideal. But always being the focus of sex, always being expected to come first, always being expected to come — that shit gets exhausting after a while. So order your boyfriend to focus a little more on his own pleasure during sex and a little less on yours. Tell him that, for now, you would like him to be less giving and more taking. And if he worries about being selfish, you can tell him that a study conducted at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in British Columbia found that people with selfish sex partners reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction. (“Emerging Adulthood: An Age of Sexual Experimentation or Sexual Self-Focus?” by Hayley Leveque and Cory Pederson, 2010.)
I suspect, BIB, that once the focus is off you — once you no longer have to live in fear of a forced march to orgasm each and every time you have sex, once you’re no longer under so much pressure — you’ll be able to relax and enjoy sex more. You might even initiate once in a while. Good luck.
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