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  • James McMurtry and The Bottle Rockets coming to the Magic Bag

    The Magic Bag in Ferndale will host James McMurtry and The Bottle Rockets on Thursday, May 28, at 8 p.m. Tickets are $20. A press release reads, “James McMurtry recently signed with the bourgeoning Los Angeles record label Complicated Game. The legendary songwriter will enter the studio later this month to start working on his first album in six years. “I’ve got a new batch of songs, organic and with no added sulfites, aged in oak for several years,” he says. “Francois Moret at Complicated Game seems to like these songs and (producer) C.C. Adcock thinks he can turn them into a record. Good times fixing to roll.” Label head Moret agrees. “In March 2013, when C.C. Adcock told me we were going to see James McMurtry at the Continental Club in Austin, I expected to see a good show,” he says, “but what I saw left me mesmerized! I immediately knew I wanted to sign him. As a European, it is an amazing opportunity to work with one of the most talented American singer-songwriters.” Evidence: McMurtry’s Just Us Kids (2008) and Childish Things (2005). The former earned his highest Billboard 200 chart position in nearly two decades and notched […]

    The post James McMurtry and The Bottle Rockets coming to the Magic Bag appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Dead Kennedys to have a holiday in Detroit

    The Dead Kennedys, still with local boy Klaus Flouride in the ranks, will play St. Andrew’s Hall on Tuesday, June 24. Alongside Flouride and fellow original members East Bay Ray and DH Peligro, the current lineup includes singer Ron “Skip” Greer, taking the place of Jello Biafra. Downtown Brown will open that show, which starts at 7 p.m., with tickets priced $20-$25. Give Klaus a hero’s hometown welcome. Just over a week before that, strangely enough, Jello Biafra & the Guantanamo School of Medicine will play at the Magic Stick. It’s a weird coincidence, but one that DK fans should be happy to embrace. That show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets are $17-$19. Local hardcore vets Negative Approach play before Jello, with the Crashdollz opening the show. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: Dead Kennedys to have a holiday in Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Planet Ant presents A Steady Rain

    The Planet Ant Theatre in Hamtramck will present a police drama called A Steady Rain May 2 through 24. Planet Ant veterans Ryan Carlson and York Griffith will star in the play, written by House of Cards and Mad Men co-writer Keith Huff. Tickets ($10-$20) are on sale now at PlanetAnt.com. According to the press release, “A Steady Rain by Keith Huff focuses on Joey and Denny, best friends since kindergarten and partners on the police force whose loyalty to each other is tested by domestic affairs, violence and the rough streets of Chicago. Joey helps Denny with his family and Denny helps Joey stay off the bottle. But when a routine disturbance call takes a turn for the worse their loyalty is put to the ultimate test.First produced at Chicago Dramatists, A Steady Rain appeared on Broadway featuring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig. The Planet Ant production of A Steady Rain is directed by York Griffith featuring Ryan Carlson and Andy Huff. This marks the return of two of Planet Ant’s founding members. Carlson and Griffith. Griffith has served as the theatre’s Artistic Director where he directed the critically-acclaimed productions The Adding Machine and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? […]

    The post Planet Ant presents A Steady Rain appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • You can wear Detroit’s blight on your face

    There is no easy answer to the question regarding what should be done with Detroit’s abandoned homes. However, an Eastern Market company has a solution that could reflect Detroit’s possibly bright future. Homes Eyewear has set out to make the city a little more stylish, and do their part in cleaning it up by repurposing select woods from neglected homes for sunglasses. All of the wood that Homes uses is harvested from vacant houses with the assistance of Reclaim Detroit. A lot of work goes into prepping the wood to be cut and shaped into frames. Homes goes through each piece to remove nails, paint or anything else detrimental to their production (it’s a bit strange to think that your wooden sunglasses could have had family portraits nailed to them). In order to produce more durable eyewear, they salvage only hardwoods like maple or beech, which are difficult to come by as most of the blighted homes were built with softer woods like Douglas fir and pine. If you’re worried about looking goofy, or shudder at the thought of salvaged wood resting on your nose, you can rest easy. Homes currently offers frames in the popular wayfarer style and are developing their unique spin on the classic aviators. For as […]

    The post You can wear Detroit’s blight on your face appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor

    Detroit home-girl Lily Tomlin will perform at the Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor on Saturday, June 14. A press release reads, “Get together with Lily Tomlin for an unforgettable night of fun and sidesplitting laughter. “Tomlin is amazing” The NY Times and “as always a revelation.” The New Yorker This unique comic artist takes her audience on what the Washington Post calls a “wise and howlingly funny” trip with more than a dozen of her timeless characters—from Ernestine to Mrs. Beasley to Edith Ann.” “With astounding skill and energy, Tomlin zaps through the channels like a human remote control. Using a fantastic range of voices, gestures and movements, she conjures up the cast of characters with all the apparent ease of a magician pulling a whole menagerie of animals from a single hat.” NY Daily News “Her gentle touch is as comforting as it is edifying.” NY Time Out She has “made the one-person show the daring, irreverent art form it is today.” Newsweek Her long list of awards includes: a Grammy; two Tonys; six Emmys; an Oscar nomination; two Peabodys; and the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Find more info here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor

    The Detroit Metro Times, Detroit’s award-winning alternative weekly media company, is proud to announce the recent hire of Valerie Vande Panne as Editor-in-Chief. An award-winning independent journalist and Michigan native, Vande Panne’s work has appeared in Crain’s Detroit Business, The Daily Beast, and Salon, among other publications. Previously, Vande Panne attended Harvard University and was a regular contributor to The Boston Phoenix, and a news editor of High Times magazine. She has spent years covering drug policy among other subjects, including the environment, culture, lifestyle, extreme sports, and academia. “Valerie understands our business and what we expect to accomplish in Detroit. She has an excellent sense for stories that will move our readers, as well as experience with balancing print and digital content. I’m excited to have her at the paper and trust her leadership as we move forward,” said Detroit Metro Times publisher Chris Keating.

    The post Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Short takes

Dressing up as a woman, technical butt-plug question, steal some porn mags, drunk straight girls, spanking someone with consent is sexy, and more

Photo: wiki commons, License: N/A

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The queer community has 99 problems — at least — but DSGs making out with DSGs ain’t one.


Q: I have a mentally disabled cousin who I haven’t figured out how to help. He’s lived for more than 40 years in the same nursing home in a small, conservative town. His mental age is about 8, there are other mental-illness issues, and he has some physical problems. He is now in his late 60s. He has always enjoyed dressing up as a woman, but given that he’s in a Christian nursing home, he must keep it fairly secret. He doesn’t want to move from his home of so many years. He periodically calls me to tell me about a dress he’s purchased or his monthly therapy sessions where he’s permitted to dress up, and I’m uncomfortable with the sexual vibe of the conversations. I would like him to have a sexual outlet, but one that doesn’t involve me. Any ideas? —She Knows It’s Really Tough

 

A: Nope.

And staging some sort of intervention now — well, the effort seems about four decades late. Even if you could find a new living situation for your cousin, SKIRT, your cousin doesn’t want to move. He seems to like where he lives, he gets to buy himself dresses, and he gets to dress up once in awhile. He’d probably be happier if he didn’t have to keep his dresses secret, but things could be much, much worse.

 

Q: I have a technical butt-plug question. I’m in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. We don’t use protection except birth control. Is there any reason other than sexually transmitted-infection issues — not an issue for us — that we shouldn’t share a butt plug? —Sex Toys Are Pricey

 

A: Nope.

 

Q: We’re a straight couple, and my boyfriend and I love playing with his butt. I love being able to ride him when he has a butt plug in, but it always falls out during sex. Is there something we can do? Do we need a different toy? —Plug Leaves Us Guessing

 

A: What you need, PLUG, is a bigger butt plug. The circumference of the widest part of the butt plug (the part that goes in his ass) needs to be four or five times greater than the circumference of the narrow part of the butt plug (the part his sphincters grip). If the widest part of your butt plug isn’t much wider than the narrow part, that butt plug will fly out of your boyfriend’s ass every time. Bigger butt plugs look intimidating — especially for straight boys — but the extra physical and emotional effort required to get a bigger butt plug in a straight boy’s ass … well, that shit pays off in the end.

 

Q: My son is 13. After I caught him with porn on his smartphone, I replaced it with a dumb phone and limited his access to the Internet at home. We have talked about desensitization and the oppression of women that occurs with porn. Yet the hormones rage on. He has asked me to buy him a Playboy. I need to play this right. I want him to come to me to talk about sex, but a mom buying her son porn doesn’t seem OK. If I don’t buy him a magazine, he will seek porn on the non-parent-regulated Internet. If I do purchase porn for him, doesn’t that just encourage him to walk the path of porn? —Baffled By Teenaged Boys

 

A: If your son wants old-fashioned, pre-Internet porn — do they still publish Playboy? — he can acquire it in the old-fashioned, pre-Internet manner: He can get his ass to a bodega or a convenience store or a truck stop and steal some porn mags. My brothers and I learned important life lessons shoplifting porn when we were your son’s age: to be watchful, to seize opportunities, and to run like hell.

 

Q: I am one of those straight girls who likes to make out with other girls when I am drunk. It’s fun to get the attention of men by kissing girls! What’s so wrong with that? Why do so many lesbians and bi women disparage this behavior? I guess it could be said that my behavior encourages men to objectify women who kiss other women. But I feel like that shouldn’t be on me! Why all the hate? I am just an adult having sexy fun with other consenting adults! —Drunk Straight Girl

 

A: I can’t believe there are still queers out there hatin’ on drunk straight girls (DSGs) who make out with other DSGs to attract the attention of drunk straight boys (DSBs). Same-sex marriage is making significant gains — hurray for Rhode Island, Delaware, Minnesota, Uruguay, France and New Zealand — but it remains illegal in 38 states, Congress has yet to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, the HIV-infection rate among young gay and bi men is up, and trans people who just want to use the toilet are being attacked in schools and state legislatures across the country. (Google “rape” and “public restroom,” and tons of stories come up — but they’re all about straight men attacking women. Want to make public restrooms safer? Ban straight men from using them.) The queer community has 99 problems — at least — but DSGs making out with DSGs ain’t one.

 

Q: I’m a female in my early 20s and have been seeing a really great guy for a few months. We’ve been having lots of awesome vanilla sex, but I dig light spanking. I have told him this, and he talks some hot dirty talk about what he’s going to do to me, but there’s no follow-through. This discomfort is linked to some abuse he witnessed — his stepdad hurt his mother. I like him and I’m happy to wait for him to ease into it slowly, but how much time do I leave between mentioning it? It’s been at least a month since I last brought it up, and I’ll go crazy if I don’t get some kinky sex soon. —Missing My Kinks

 

A: Here’s what you need to tell your boyfriend: “Vaginal intercourse without consent is rape, but vaginal intercourse with consent is sex. You can wrap your head around that, right? So you should be able to wrap your head around this: Spanking someone without consent is assault, but spanking someone with consent is sexy. And you’re going to spank me right now, with my consent, and it’s going to be hot.”

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Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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